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Month: February 2022

Confused? Don’t Be.

Published on February 28, 2022
  • When somebody says something you don’t understand—tell them. You expand your thinking when you understand what’s being said—not when you pretend like you do.
  • When a strong feeling arises that doesn’t make sense to you—speak to/ listen to/ or read from a person who understands strong feelings. Bottling up strong feelings turns them toxic. Sharing strong feelings is how we learn to flow from signal to action.
  • When you’re solving a problem and get stuck—reach out to those who are trying to solve (or have solved) similar problems. When your network expands, not only does your thinking expand from the interactions, but your access to other brains expands which multiplies the total thinking capacity at hand for all involved.

In short: don’t keep your confusion to yourself.

Keeping your confusion to yourself is literally the act of preventing growth.

Reaching out for help when confused may be hard, but it’s the path towards growth.

If we do nothing to expand our thinking, our thinking will never expand.

And expanding our thinking is important because our opportunities in life expand in proportion to the problems we learn how to solve—which only ever fall within the confines of our thinking.

Same Skills = Same Problems

Published on February 28, 2022

There’s no such thing as a problem-free life.

Life is merely a game of exchanging and/or upgrading problems.

If you want to ‘upgrade’ your problems, you have to upgrade your skills.

For example, investing money isn’t a problem you get to solve if you’re living paycheck to paycheck. You have to figure out how to make more than your lifestyle costs before you get to solve investing.

Running from problems and/or distracting yourself from building up higher level skills only keeps you stuck having to face the same problems because that’s what your lower level skills know how to face.

It’s those who build the most valuable/ interesting skills that get to solve the most valuable/ interesting problems in the world.

And the pathway there always starts with the problems that are right in front of you first.

Becoming More Useful By Practicing Uselessness

Published on February 26, 2022

Beware: in many cases, it’s when we’re attempting to be most useful to the world that we actually end up being the least useful to ourselves.

An outward focus on productivity and getting things done can easily turn into a toxic work ethic that leads us to disregard the things we most need to do for our own personal wellness.

This is classic workaholic-ism.

Now, beware: the remedy I’m going to offer, like most pills, might be hard to swallow.

What we need to become comfortable with and practice is the idea of uselessness.

That’s right—being more useless to the world.

Did that thought make you cringe a little?

It’s got a distinctly counter-culture sound to it that might make you feel uneasy when thinking about.

Which would only further prove my point.

Being useless to the world isn’t an attack on your self-worth. It’s the very means through which you get to be more useful to yourself.

…Time when you get to stop compromising, negotiating, accommodating, pleasing, bending-over-backwards for, and sucking up to others in order to get things done.

Being useless to the world is about total and complete surrender to outward obligations and a wholesome focus towards the calls of your spirit.

Not towards distraction, inaction, or suppression—but towards introspection, healing, and overflowing.

Because we can only ever be as useful to the world as we become useful. And if we’re only ever focused on being useful to others, we never have a chance to be useful to ourselves. And one of the only times we get to ever be most useful to ourselves is when we’re most useless to the world.

Swallow the pill.

Noticing The Burn Before The Out

Published on February 25, 2022

Burnout generally happens slowly, slowly, and then all at once.

It’s sneaky.

It isn’t obvious that it’s happening. But, once it happens, it’s already too late.

The question to consider is, how can we notice the burn before we become all the way burned out?

My thought? By noticing whether or not we’re taking time away from what’s required for a full recharge. Here it is in three steps:

  • Step 1: Determine what’s required for a full recharge. For some it’s 6 hours of sleep. For me, it’s 8. For others, it’s 10. I also add a 20 minute power nap into each day and spend 20 minutes meditating to check in on my mental state. This is what’s required for a full recharge for me.
  • Step 2: Notice when you’re taking away from full recharge time. Staying up late to work? Feel like binging on Netflix until an ungodly hour? Remember that if you can’t fully recharge, you’ll have to go about your next day, well, not fully charged. Too many of these in a row will undoubtedly lead to burnout.
  • Step 3: Give back with every take. When I take an hour of sleep from one night, I’ll try and add it to the next. Or I’ll take a 45 or 90 minute nap instead of a 20 minute one. At the very least, I’ll attempt to get a streak of full 8 hour recharges back to compensate.

Because here’s the thing about recharging: if you don’t mange this yourself, eventually your body will force you to do it—in full—without your consent.

And burnout never has good timing.

Burnout Is Sneaky

Published on February 24, 2022

“Burnout is sneaky because you don’t realize you’re borrowing from tomorrow to push through today.”

Emily Leahy, Twitter

And when you borrow too much from tomorrow (or from too many tomorrows), you’ll eventually have nothing left to give in the current day.

And when that happens—when you’ve reached your “credit limit”—your body cuts you off from future energy supplies and shuts down.

Hence why burnout often feels like life in a vegetative state.

And hence why burnout often looks like an absurd number of hours spent sushi rolled up in your fuzziest of blankets while Netflix plays reruns of shows you’ve already seen as you fill yourself up with the emptiest of calories you have stored in the darkest of corners in your kitchen as emotional music plays softly in the background of your dimly lit rooms.

It’s not because you’re lazy, a failure, or because you suck at life—it’s because the energy from each of those “absurd hours” has already been spent.

And until you get current again with your “energy payments” it’s likely that “sushi-ed up” is how you’ll remain.

Until eventually, you become current, have a renewed source of life energy and get another chance to start spending again.

Except this time, hopefully you’ll only spend what’s within the limits of your current day—one day at a time.

When More Self-Care Is Needed

Published on February 23, 2022

Today marked one of the first times I can recall…

Where I felt irritable and anxious…

And told myself…

I’m going to need to double my meditation time today.

This, I’d say, is an excellent marker of progress for my own mental health awareness.

Communicating Love

Published on February 22, 2022

Saying: “I love you.”

And holding the door, putting down the phone, setting the table, cleaning the dishes, picking up the kids, making the bed, helping prep dinner, baking a surprise desert, giving free massages, calling just because, giving a compliment, sharing a vulnerability, thoughtfully replying to messages, randomly showing affection—all with a big smile on your face…

Both communicate love.

But in powerfully different ways.