Month: July 2021

Go Back To Idle

Published on July 15, 2021

“When in trouble, just let go. Go back to idle.”
Delia Owens, Where The Crawdads Sing (Page 41)

When you get yourself in trouble, it implies you’ve crossed a line; broken a rule; done harm.

Which further implies that there were faults in your mindset that led to faulty actions.

When the momentum of those decisions causes you to cross a line, break a rule, or do harm—the worse thing you can do is maintain that momentum.

Stop. Let go. Go back to idle.

Carefully inspect your thought process. Sit. Breathe. Adjust. Choose new actions; better actions.

Then, and only then, should you start again.

Your “Just Right” Crowd

Published on July 14, 2021

When I was growing up, life for me was football in the street, wresting on lawns, basketball in driveways, and expeditions to the corner store for 50 cent mega-freezie pops.

I don’t remember much about school or homework and I didn’t really participate in any extracurricular activities. All I remember thinking about was getting back outside and picking up where we left off the day before—right before the streetlights came on and it was time to go home.

Playing with the kids on my block was the focal point of my life.

Each of them challenged me in unique ways. Some made me want to be faster and more athletic. Some made me want to stand taller and speak louder. Others made me want to be more understanding and witty.

Of course, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. We had our fair share of arguments and more-than-play-fights. But, that’s what came with the territory. We were active, competitive, emotional, rowdy, and inexperienced. It always turned out okay though because, without even knowing it, we challenged each other “just right”—“goldilocks” right.

Too easy and I wouldn’t have had a reason to work hard, deliberately focus, or persevere. Too hard and I wouldn’t have bothered trying in the first place. Without them, skill building wouldn’t have ever even been on my mind—I probably would have just binged on TV instead.

That period of my life laid the foundation for my character that I still take pride in today.

The truth of the story is this: if we want to develop optimally, we have to find ways to challenge ourselves “just right.” As the kids on my block did for me whenever we played. As the people in your life can do for you as soon as you find your “just right” crowd, too.

The Ocean Of Emotion Within

Published on July 13, 2021

Deep within each of us is an ocean.

An ocean of emotion collected over a lifetime of exchanges that sits at the core of our being.

When suppressed, our emotions, as water, run their way down our inner landscape from the heights of our conscious mind to the deepest parts of our subconscious. From the top of the clouds to the bottom of the ocean. From source to storage.

And with that storage comes a heaviness, like the ocean, that can’t be denied.

Many people look at that heaviness as a burden. As a collection of undesired, painful emotions that do nothing but weigh them down and cause them suffering.

But, what if I told you that all of that emotional water that you’ve collected was the very substance required to sustain and nourish inner life?

What if I told you that what the arid, drying, and dying landscape of your mind was craving was some of the very water that you backwardly have been suppressing and vilifying?

What if that ocean of water wasn’t a burden at all? What if it was the very source of your power, your insight, your wisdom, your creativity, your individuality—your life?

What if all you had to do was tap into it, like a well, and start pumping the water out to both nourish surrounding life and alleviate the weight that’s been holding you down?

Follow Your Passion Is Bad Advice

Published on July 13, 2021

“Your purpose comes from doing what you love. Your meaning comes from sharing it.”
Unknown

Worth elaborating on: “Doing what you love.”

I love watching Netflix, eating junk food, playing games, and surfing through social media. But, generally speaking, you and I both know that’s not where purpose comes from.

So, what kind of love are we talking about? We’re talking about the kind of love that leads to skill-building tasks. Skills are the currency of careers. And finding a career that properly utilizes your skills is what leads to a fulfilling sense of purpose.

This is why “follow your passion” can be bad advice.

Being passionate about something is, in-and-of-itself, worthless in the business world. Pay attention to your passions, sure! But, focus primarily on building skills in those areas of passion. That is how you’ll elevate yourself to a purposeful opportunity you can be proud of.

Take martial arts for example. Being passionate about martial arts is great. You can watch the movies, read the books, collect the posters, etc. But, until you learn how properly execute martial arts techniques, how to teach students of all ability levels, how to run the business side of the martial arts school, etc.—your passions are of little to no value.

Build skills in accordance to your passions. Elevate yourself to a purposeful position. Then, share it with the world.

Shoulders Of Giants

Published on July 10, 2021

If I have seen further it’s because I have spent a lot of time climbing the shoulders of giants.

Giants being the people who have grown into bigger, better versions of themselves. The people who can offer a perspective towards life that’s deeper and more developed than my own.

Humility check: none of our perspectives are perfect—each has its flaws.

But, there are people with less flawed perspectives. People who have spent a considerate amount of time carefully analyzing their thoughts, dissecting the thoughts of others, quieting the chatter, training their minds, and seeking the appropriate help.

And it’s those perspectives—those shoulders—that we must seek to climb.

And let’s be clear: climbing is no picnic—it’s always hard. But, gaining access to their shoulders isn’t.

Heck, many giants want to have their shoulders climbed. They write books featuring their best perspectives, share insight on podcasts and videos for those who don’t (want to) read, heck!—many of them even answer well positioned, thoughtful questions for no other reason than to help.

If you want to see further—if you want to gain a bigger, better perspective towards life—start by climbing onto the shoulders of someone who sees further.

It’s there—from that elevated perspective—that you can start developing your own elevated opinions towards the surrounding landscape.

Until then, you’ll just have to settle with what you see from down here.

Love Is Something Only Mastered In Moments

Published on July 9, 2021

Love is not something that is mastered in but one moment.

To have mastered something is to imply its completion—and love is never “done.”

To masterfully craft a loving moment is as much a completed gift as it is an understanding that a new gift will need to be crafted in the next.

Otherwise, as all gifts eventually do, its warmth and shine will slowly fade.

And not because the gift that you masterfully crafted wasn’t good enough, but because of the eventual overwhelm of the following moments when no gift is crafted at all.

Love needs to be renewed.

And fortunately, there is an inextinguishable source of love inside each of us that we can draw from. That we can use to masterfully craft another loving gift in this moment and the next.

Be it a sincere compliment, a warm embrace, a chivalrous gesture, a thoughtful note, a compassionate ear, an intimate night free from distraction, or a “just because” gift when the opportunity is there.

Love is not something we can state in one moment and be done stating forevermore.

It’s not an act that is completed that will cover you forevermore.

Love is something only mastered in moments—and it will always be the case now and forevermore.

The Antithesis Of Freedom

Published on July 8, 2021

Our busyness is often our enemy; it is the antithesis of freedom.

Freedom is the feeling we get when we’re not busy.

And most of what we spend our days being busy about (e.g. acquiring wealth) is really supposed to be a means for acquiring freedom. The freedom to live life on our own terms.

But, what if the means was in direct opposition to the end goal? What if our work kept us from living on our own terms at all?

Here’s the thing, this is not a call to quit your job and/or shed all of your responsibilities that keep you busy. Rather, it’s a call to carefully reevaluate what it is exactly that you’re so busy with and how it connects to your freedom.

If family came to visit from out of town during your work week, would you be able see them? Or would you be too busy?
If a good friend was in trouble and asked you for coffee, would you be able to meet them? Or would you be too busy?
If your favorite band was playing a concert near you, but it was during a work weekend, would you have the freedom to go see them? Or would you be too busy?

Sometimes we sacrifice doing what we want to do with work because we know it will lead to more future freedom. But, what are you securing future freedom for if you’re sacrificing all of your top priorities now?