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Month: June 2021

Sun Always Shines

Published on June 14, 2021 
 Sun always shines
 Earth may have turned
 Or clouds moved between
 But don’t confuse all dark with no sun
 Sun always shines
 

 Light in you always shines
 Though backs may turn
 Or moods may fog
 Don’t confuse all dark with no light
 Light in you always shines
 

 Building happens better in the light
 Don’t settle so quick for habits of the night
 While it may seem no end’s in sight
 And that life may only be squinting and strife
 Be patient
 Building happens better in the light
 

 Backs, as Earth, will rotate once more
 Clouds, as mind, will clear like before
 And what you will realize
 Is that light, while obstructed, was never that far
 The light in you was always shining
 As bright as before

If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t “Crutch” It

Published on June 12, 2021

When we confront challenges in life, it’s in our nature to seek the path of least resistance and to look for ways we can make those challenges easier.

One such method is by dumping our challenges on other people. Because if someone else will confront the challenge for us, who is presumably stronger, why not let them? (1) They’re stronger and (2) it’ll be easier for us! Well, this is precisely why we shouldn’t.

While it’s quite admirable that someone would do such a kind thing for another, here’s what we have to remember: borrowing strength builds weakness.

People who confront other people’s challenges for them become nothing more than a “crutch.” And while being a crutch is okay when someone is really broken—like how crutches are used to rehab a broken leg—at a certain point we have to take the crutches away. If we don’t, the muscles will continue to atrophy and weaken.

The challenge is precisely what’s needed for growth.

Likewise, at some point, we have to stop seeking “crutches” and stop being other people’s “crutch.” We have to bear the full weight of the consequences associated with our actions. It’s the only way we’ll ever build up the strength we desire so badly to have.

Don’t Force The Drip; Drip Naturally

Published on June 11, 2021

Information comes into our brains one word at a time, one sound at a time, one touch at a time, one image at a time, one frame at a time—one drip at a time.

And our brains are filled with sponges that capture those drips. What’s cool about the sponges of our mind is that they grow or shrink based on demand.

For example, the sponge that holds self-improvement information in my mind is simply gigantic because I’m constantly dripping information into it. My obsession loads the sponge to maximum capacity and so it grows to account for that demand.

But, the sponge that holds calculus information, however, is teeny-tiny because I never drip anything into it. The sponge is dry and continues to shrivel up each day because I don’t drop anything into it—and I’m okay with that.

Here’s why this is important: (1) The sponges you drip information into will grow; (2) the sponges you don’t drip anything into will shrink; (3) you can only wring information out of a sponge that has had enough dripped into it.

Are the drops of information that you’re soaking in every day getting added to sponges that you actually want to grow or sponges that you’d actually prefer shriveled up? How much information do you have packed in your brain from Keeping Up With The Jones’? What drip adjustments do you think you could make?

Finally, are you trying to wring out a dry sponge or is your sponge soaked with information?

Keep in mind that once your sponge hits capacity, it will start to leak information in that domain naturally—as it grows and in real-time. People can sense when you’re forcing/wringing/squeezing information from a dry sponge. And they can also tell when it’s legitimately soaked, dense, and overflowing.

Soak the right sponges. Soak more than you wring. Let the drip come naturally.

How To Change People

Published on June 10, 2021

…You don’t.

People can’t be changed.

They can only choose to change themselves.

What you can do is influence them to choose to change.

What that doesn’t mean: force your influence down their throat.

What that looks like: unsolicited advice; ceaselessly checking to see if they’re following your advice; becoming emotionally invested in their choices.

What unforced influence looks like: living your best life; sharing what you learn with those interested along the way; letting people do with your advice what they may—and not taking any decision(s) personally.

Here’s the thing: other people aren’t yours to change.

Let them choose to live how they may—it’s their life.

The only person you should ever be trying to change is yourself.

Which is, paradoxically, exactly how you best change others.

The Unemotional Movie

Published on June 9, 2021

Imagine watching a movie where the main character is born into a nice family, grows up in a nice neighborhood, enjoys nice experiences, goes to a nice school, gets a nice job, settles down with a nice family—THE END.

No drama. No problems. No conflict.

No creative thinking. No problem solving. No hero journey.

Just one nice scene after the next. One easy step forward after the next. Only happiness, smiles, and victories—and no sadness, depth, or challenge.

Can you think of any such movie? I can’t. And here’s why: they don’t get produced. Why? Because they’re bland. But, also because movies like this are further from the human experience than even the most fantastical sci-fi movies.

If there’s one common goal that all movies share, it’s to evoke an emotional response. And the best way to remove that response is to make everything drama/problem/conflict-free; by flatlining the ebbs and flows; by making everything, just, nice.

The drama is precisely what draws us in—because our lives are dramatic. The problems are what captivate our attention—because our lives are filled with problems. And sharing that experience of drama, problems, conflict—even with fictional characters—is what connects us to the greater experience of being human.

If I were to sit down and watch a playback movie of your life, would you want me to only see the highlight reel of your life? Or would you want me to see what you had to overcome in order to earn your highlight reel? Victory isn’t as sweet without loss. Accomplishment isn’t as meaningful without challenge. The “highs” aren’t as appreciated without the “lows.”

Remember this the next time you confront drama, problems, and conflict—it’s your chance to add some depth, contrast, and feeling to the movie of your life.

Hard Work vs. The Real Hard Work

Published on June 8, 2021

“Most hard work is a form of laziness. The real hard work is in finding a way to make it easy.”

James Pierce, Twitter

Doing construction is hard work. Building a construction company is hard work. Once the right systems and personnel are in place for the company, however, construction becomes easier. Easier, at least, than having to always do all of the front-line construction yourself. When you don’t work hard to find ways to make your work easier, like by building a team, it’s a form of laziness.

Working a 9-5 desk job is hard work. Figuring out how to design a lifestyle that is free from the 9-5 is also hard work. Once the right systems and strategies are in place, however, living a lifestyle with more freedom becomes easier. Easier, at least, than merely forcing yourself to always do 9-5 work with a head full of travel plans. When you don’t work hard to find ways to live with more freedom, like by starting a side hustle, it’s a form of laziness.

Living a healthy lifestyle is hard work. Figuring out how to make healthy living easier is also hard work. Once the right systems and habits are in place, however, living healthy becomes less of a sprint and more of an enjoyable jog. More enjoyable, at least, than continuing to try to lose “30 pounds in 30 days” or trying to “trim 6 inches off your waste in 6 weeks.” When you don’t work hard to figure out how to pace healthy living and habitualize important daily tasks, it’s a form of laziness.

Focus less on hard work. Focus more on the real hard work in your life.

When’s The Last Time You Took A Mind Shower?

Published on June 7, 2021

“Just as you take a shower or bath in the morning to get yesterday’s dirt off your body, you do your spiritual practice in the morning to get yesterday’s thinking off your mind and heart.”

Marianne Williamson, via MoveMe Quotes

If you never take the time to “clean” your mind, of course it’s going to get “dirty.” This shouldn’t come as a surprise. You aren’t surprised when your body gets dirty after not having showered or bathed in a few days, right? We must start to look at our minds the same.

If your thinking is “mudded,” or “stinky” with demeaning thoughts, or covered in negativity, etc., then you need a mind shower, my friend! Here’s what you do:

  1. Set the environment for cleaning. When you shower you turn the water on, take off your clothes, and leave your phone in the other room (hopefully). Likewise, for mind cleaning: turn a timer or background sounds on, “take off” your old thoughts, and leave your phone in the other room.
  2. Use soap, shampoo, and conditioner. For mind cleaning, like showering, just turning the water on and stepping in isn’t enough. You have to actively engage in the cleaning process. Let returning to your breath or a guided meditation be your soap. Let writing your extraneous thoughts down be your shampoo. Let mantra be your conditioner.
  3. Dry yourself off and put on fresh clothes. Come back into the reality of the world with a more clean and clear mind. Dry yourself off with a walk, a visit to nature, or some relaxing activity. And “dress” your mind with some positive reading, fresh conversation, or constructive listening (to podcasts or mentors).

Without regular mind cleaning, you’re going to start to stink—it’s as inevitable as starting to stink without bodily cleaning. Ideally, we should put into place a daily practice, like showering, to keep our minds consistently clean. You can try to cover it up with quick-fixes like deodorant or perfume, but eventually, your stinkiness will seep through. And nobody likes hanging around a smelly mind.