Category: Meaningful Connection

Sometimes it can be hard enough just keeping track of yourself and your own damn life.

But, when you can become a person who pays attention to other peoples’ lives and can do something about helping them live theirs…

You’ll likely notice your own life becomes easier.

…Which from a surface level sounds counterintuitive because time and energy spent helping others is time and energy you can no longer spend on yourself.

But the catch is that time and energy spent on others isn’t ever really spent… it’s invested.

And the ROI is the time and energy that person might want to invest back into you… multiplied by the number of times they choose to do so throughout the rest of your lives.

Let that sink in for a second.

…Not every investment will give a positive ROI, though.

Which is why boundaries, inner work, and having standards are so important.

But, when they do yield a positive ROI… boy, do they.

Never underestimate or be selfish about these almighty and powerful investments.

…Another time when due diligence is critical is when considering who to spend time with.

If you kind of lazily decide that whoever shows up first and just keeps showing up is good enough and you’re not going to do anything else about it on your part, then that’s about what you’ll get…

Keep your mind open, keep taking initiative to meet new folks, and be willing to step outside of your comfortable circle of connections, and you’ll get to make higher quality decisions because you’ll have a broader selection to choose from—leading you to make connections with those who are more likely great for you.

…Which, to be clear, isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with hanging out with comfort zone homies. They undoubtedly serve an invaluable role.

Rather, I’m sure you’ve heard the expression that we become a byproduct of the five people we spend the most time with. This is merely a prompt to think about who those five people are for you right now. And think about how you might spend more time with people who are going to pull you forward towards that better place—whatever that is for you.

…Do your due diligence.

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P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

“You’re the first person to tell me they have another company coming to give an estimate in over two months of doing this with 70+ orders per week…”

This is what a sales associate told me after giving me a price quote for getting my garage door replaced.

He seemed surprised, as did the guy who represented a different company that came before him.

My intention is simple: to do my due diligence.

I want to hear them talk… I want to hear them comment on their company and competition… I want to see what kind of offers they have and if they’ll change anything after I tell them I have other companies coming… I want to see who I align with the most…

See, the first guy who came out was good. If I caved into my lazy nature and just went with him because it was more convenient, I’m sure I wouldn’t have regretted it.

But, the guy who came today was great. He saved me close to $600 by advising me against purchasing a new motor… something the other guy didn’t even check and just added to my quote because I said, “I guess I should because I’m getting a new door, right?”

Why share this story? To serve as a reminder to do your due diligence before making an expensive or long-term decision. When one is all you have to go off of, of course you’ll justify it. But, more gives you actual bases of comparison. And even if it doesn’t save you $600, it’ll give you a vibe that allows you to invest in the type of company (people) you’d love to see thrive.

Today I updated my certifications for CPR and using an AED.

We do CPR when a person is unconscious and not breathing so as to keep circulating blood throughout the body and oxygen moving in and out of the lungs to delay tissue death and organ failure until medical professionals can arrive.

Liken this to times in your life when you’ve felt metaphysically lost and like you metaphorically can’t breathe because of something awful that happened to you… and how sometimes, finding ways you can keep going through the motions of your regular, everyday life can be just as lifesaving.

CPR, however, isn’t something we do to ourselves—CPR is something we do to others.

The same in life.

When we see or sense that someone is metaphysically lost or are going through a really tough time… sometimes the best thing we can do is “manually” help them do the things they normally do on their own, but at that point in time and for whatever reason—can’t. Things like hang out with friends, go for walks, eat appropriate meals, exercise, have a night out, etc.

Which leads to my final point… like CPR, most anyone can do it. You just need to have a little bit of training, courage, compassion, and common sense.

Stay ready, y’all.

Somebody is going to need you one day…

The question is… will you be ready?

I’m going to a martial arts conference this weekend to learn from some of the best martial artists, martial arts school owners, and associated like-minded people in my industry.

A question I’ve been reflecting on to prepare is, “How can I optimize my time there?”

I’ve been thinking about how I can maximize the number of sessions I take… the number of people I might meet… the number of opportunities I might capitalize on and uncover…

And it got me thinking…

…Why don’t I (we) do this for our everyday life more often?

At least for me… I can’t think of the last time I sat down and asked myself, “How can I optimize my time here, in my hometown, this weekend?”

Granted, most of the time all I want to do is nothing (lol).

But, every now and again, I think it’d be well worth the effort to look at our own hometown with fresh eyes… as though we were only visiting for one weekend and wanted to soak up as much of the area as possible.

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Inner Work Prompt: Imagine friends were coming to visit your hometown for one weekend and they asked if you would give them the optimized experience. What kind of itinerary would you prepare? Why not do that for yourself and your own family?

Don’t complicate people gatherings.

Time… place… a thing or two to do…

And let the magical depth of our incomprehensible existences express themselves and connect (once again) for a while.

So much of the loneliness we feel can be solved by simplifying our formula.

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Inner Work Prompt: What’s a problem in your life that’s being made worse by complication? How can you simplify your approach?

Oftentimes I’ll wonder to myself, “What would we even talk about?” as I think about the prospect of getting coffee or lunch with one person or another.

It can feel daunting… the idea of filling an hour or two with conversation.

And yet, it never ceases to amaze me at how seamless it goes when you have the right mix of curiosity + vulnerability/transparency + time apart.

Take that formula with you everywhere you go and I suspect you’ll find that an hour or two often isn’t enough.

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P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.