Category: Meaningful Connection

The person who initiates in-person, human-to-human gatherings plays a more important role than ever before in modern society.

Why? Because screens are capturing the best of our attention each day and are leaving us with less and less to give to IRL meetups—especially as algorithms, AI, and technology advance to make screens more and more addicting.

By the time we’re done with work or have a space in our schedule when we’re actually able to hang out with people, in-person… we’re exhausted. Or are more tempted by the easy access to screen dopamine than the resistance we might face when thinking about arranging IRL meetups.

I can feel it in myself: a hesitation; a laziness; a doubt; a distraction; a weight; a series of excuses; an expectation; an easier option—when I think about initiating IRL meetups.

And the crazy part is… I know I’m blessed with a circle of close connections who would love to meetup IRL and would laugh at the thoughts of:

• “Well, I have to get my house perfectly clean before I invite them over.”
• “I don’t want to set anything up until I know everybody vibes well together.”
• “They’re probably as exhausted as I am and would rather chill at home than meet up.”

But, I suspect I’m not the only one…

What we need are people who can be proactive. People who can make arrangements, make the calls, discipline themselves with their screens, trash the excuses, and stick to their word.

There used to be a time when this was all there was.

Now… it’s a skill that needs to be built.

…Will you help fill the need for this ever important role?

Before asking me what I’ve learned from 35 years of life, my dad gave a beautiful toast that featured some of his thoughts about me.

And one thing he said impressed him the most was how long I’ve been doing the important work of impacting lives—not on a “one-to-many” basis—but on a “one-to-one” basis.

This blog is a “one-to-many” form of influence/impact.

I know I’ve influenced/impacted the lives of some of the people who have read these posts.

…But, I also know I’ve influenced/impacted the lives of those whom I’ve connected with on a one-to-one basis and over an extended period of time… more.

As is how one would expect it to be.

Which isn’t to say one form of influence/impact is better than another per se.

…Who’s to say having a noticeable, but relatively small impact on 100 people is less than a comparatively big impact on one person? Or vice versa?

It’s merely a reminder to not forget about the tremendous opportunity hidden inside the “just one person” whom you cross paths with each day.

Modern society will have you brainwashed into believing that number of followers and amount of engagement determines your influence on people/society.

And, like with many things, modern society is mostly wrong.

In a world where most everybody is trying to be the “one-to-many” influencer… swim the other way… and be the one who doesn’t miss an opportunity to make a comparatively massive impact on “just one.”

…When honestly, that’s who needs it the most.

“…So, I’m trying to learn how to do this traditional Lebanese dance. It’s called Dabke.”

She said as she started stomping, shuffle stepping, and pistol squatting all while trying to get me to join in. I told her I attended a Lebanese wedding before and had heard of it, but didn’t know how to actually do it.

…This didn’t phase her.

She kept bouncing, twisting, grabbing my hand, and egging me on as though we had known each other forever. When in reality, this was the first time I was ever meeting this person.

…The best part? This was all going down in the middle of a regional martial arts tournament.

We never figured it out, but from that Dabke moment on, whenever we crossed paths at other tournaments or events, we’d pick right back up where we left off as friends that had seemingly known each other for years (until we actually did).

And that ability, to be friends with people before they even know it, is one of the most impressive things I had ever come to learn from her.

…This person was Master Elizabeth Lindsey.

And this past weekend, she got into a devastating motorcycle accident. One that has her in the ICU, in an induced coma, with a long and uncertain road to recovery. In the blink of an eye, her entire life was turned upside down.

And as you continue to blink your eyes today I want you to remember: be grateful for every moment—because each is an unfathomable gift.

And if you have a second (and the means), please consider donating to her GoFundMe.

Sometimes it can be hard enough just keeping track of yourself and your own damn life.

But, when you can become a person who pays attention to other peoples’ lives and can do something about helping them live theirs…

You’ll likely notice your own life becomes easier.

…Which from a surface level sounds counterintuitive because time and energy spent helping others is time and energy you can no longer spend on yourself.

But the catch is that time and energy spent on others isn’t ever really spent… it’s invested.

And the ROI is the time and energy that person might want to invest back into you… multiplied by the number of times they choose to do so throughout the rest of your lives.

Let that sink in for a second.

…Not every investment will give a positive ROI, though.

Which is why boundaries, inner work, and having standards are so important.

But, when they do yield a positive ROI… boy, do they.

Never underestimate or be selfish about these almighty and powerful investments.

…Another time when due diligence is critical is when considering who to spend time with.

If you kind of lazily decide that whoever shows up first and just keeps showing up is good enough and you’re not going to do anything else about it on your part, then that’s about what you’ll get…

Keep your mind open, keep taking initiative to meet new folks, and be willing to step outside of your comfortable circle of connections, and you’ll get to make higher quality decisions because you’ll have a broader selection to choose from—leading you to make connections with those who are more likely great for you.

…Which, to be clear, isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with hanging out with comfort zone homies. They undoubtedly serve an invaluable role.

Rather, I’m sure you’ve heard the expression that we become a byproduct of the five people we spend the most time with. This is merely a prompt to think about who those five people are for you right now. And think about how you might spend more time with people who are going to pull you forward towards that better place—whatever that is for you.

…Do your due diligence.

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P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.