Category: Meaningful Connection

If it’s true you can only ever meet people as deeply as they’ve met themselves…

Then understand that you are both the standard and the throttle of your relationships.

You’re the standard because how deeply you’re showing up is how deeply you’d like the people you meet to show up.

You’re the throttle because if the person you meet shows up with a deeper understanding, then it won’t go as deeply as they might like to go.

If you crave more depth in your relationships… always reinvest that energy back into yourself and your inner work.

It doesn’t take long for people to gauge an estimation of the depth to which the people they’re getting to know have travelled…

My recommendation is to move quickly with getting to know more and more people…

And move more and more slowly with the ones who match or challenge your standard.

I’m going to a music show this weekend.

…And I’m going to meet people I’m never going to meet again thereafter.

It’s a thought I have found myself ruminating on after past shows and I’m going into this weekend with it fully in the forefront this time.

…And it mixes in this sentimental sadness with the already anticipatory excitement—which makes it a depth multiplier if you will.

It makes each glance… each interaction… each contact… a little more meaningful, intentional, and/or deliberate.

It lays a foundation for more magic to occur. Because it can sometimes happen serendipitously… where two paths cross, magic occurs, and then they diverge for the rest of time. And what makes the interaction magic is how something about it also stays with you for the rest of time.

Maybe a look… maybe a line… maybe a touch…

Something that was maybe meant to stay. Something that maybe wasn’t meant to end. Something that formulated the whole reason for the paths to have diverged in the first place.

I’m not sure I believe in destiny more than I believe in retrospective sensemaking.

But one thing is for sure… I believe in the magic of connection. Even the kind that can happen in one singular life interaction. Especially when the culture of the environment is right… and it attracts the right kind of people… and the right aura and energy is being emitted.

Go into these moments with your senses open wide. Be present. Be courageous.

All it takes is the magic of one moment to alter the direction of the rest of a life—theirs or yours.

At dinner tonight celebrating my step mom’s 60th birthday, I witnessed an adorable moment.

It was my step mom’s brother and his wife’s turn to order from the menu.

The waiter asked the wife what she’d like, and just as she realized she had forgotten, the husband ordered what she wanted for her.

The waiter then turned to the husband and asked him what he’d like, and just as he realized he had forgotten, the wife ordered what he wanted for him.

…The best part?

Neither of them thought anything of it. Didn’t so much as smirk or make a single remark.

Just selfless loving, careful listening, intimate partner understanding—business as usual—kind of stuff.

The first time I ever opened up TikTok, I blinked and 2 hours of my life was gone.

I deleted the app.

A few years later and… every. single. app. is. the. same.

I open up Instagram, blink, 2 hours gone.

I open up Facebook, blink, 2 hours gone.

I open up YouTube, blink, 2 hours gone.

Besides that, X feels like a toxic cesspool and Linkedin feels too business-y for me.

None of it feels aligned.

Which is why I haven’t posted to social media in as long as I have. I focus my energy on posting to this blog and have been stubbornly holding back my creative inclinations to post to social media until I found a platform that prioritized content distribution differently..

Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with short video… I just want to blink and find myself still in the same moment… surrounded by words, artistic images, and intriguing dialog—not eyeballs deep down rabbit holes I never asked to be sucked down.

And a new space I’m dipping my big toe into for 2026 is Substack. It feels like a space that finally doesn’t prioritize video shorts but rather prioritizes the written word.

Which is noteworthy because different primary content medium platforms attract different audiences. And a platform that prioritizes actively reading the written word over passive video consumption… is going to attract a much different kind of user.

One that’s maybe more intentional… more thoughtful… more engaged and ready to connect in more authentic ways…

Why? …Because it’s a more demanding and difficult medium to consume.

Which is the point.

Which is where I think my people will be.

Come check it out…?

Every year, my martial arts team and I do a food drive to support our local food shelter.

One of the most effective initiatives is going door-to-door in our local neighborhoods, dropping off flyers that ask neighbors to leave a bag of food on their porch that Sunday at noon, and then go back and pick up whatever is donated.

The dropping off the flyers door-to-door part can be tedious. Especially in a world where so many of us are used to reaching thousands and thousands with just the push of a button. Going door-to-door lets you reach about one family per minute—and that’s if the flyer even makes it into their hand(s). So after two hours of walking around in the cold, maybe 120ish families will have been reached out to—a number many people would consider inefficient given the digital alternatives.

But I think in a lot of ways, it’s a refreshing perspective resetter.

On social media, people aren’t people—not really at least—they’re numbers, they’re analytics, they’re a part of a glorified game.

When walking house to house—they’re very much people. And the scale of what 100 people really looks like and feels like burns slowly back into perspective. Especially when it involves a lot of walking, in the cold, up and down stairs, one house to the next, one conversation at a time, over the duration of few hours…

I share this in hope that we all—myself included—can continue human-ify our outreach/connection efforts. Pushing a button to reach thousands can certainly work… but face-to-face and in-person might be more of what we need.

Maybe one way to measure relationship importance is to measure it against willingness to be inconvenienced.

In other words: who are you willing to bend over backwards for when you’re busy? Who are you changing plans for in a moment’s notice because they asked? Who are you going out of your way for even when you’re exhausted and don’t feel like it?

The more inconveniences you’re willing to bear for a person, the greater the relationship’s importance. And vice versa.

Does this mean we live our life on another person’s schedule? Or obey another person’s every command like a servant? Or give somebody full access to our energy?

No.

It simply means that certain people have earned time into your schedule—even when it’s packed… that they have earned the right to be served your attention—even when it’s being pulled in a million directions… that they have earned energy access—even when you’re low on stores.

And maybe remembering this can help when people are “inconveniencing you” and you are “inconveniencing” other people.