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Category: Meaningful Connection

It’s Never Just About Us

Published on January 19, 2025

Some of my martial arts students celebrated one of the biggest accomplishments in their lives today by achieving their black belt or higher degree.

And at the end of it all… when it was all said and done… every single graduate who I saw was looking to celebrate their big moment with family, friends, and loved ones.

Not a single graduate (who I saw) got their belt, patted their own back, and just left without any kind of exchange.

This should tell us something about our journeys… it’s never just about us.

Our biggest accomplishments feel empty without having someone to share them with… all of our growth is for nothing if nobody is there to feel the impact of it… and when you boil it all down… nothing we ever accomplish in life is done so alone.

Create space on your journey for others to join in. Keep loved ones looped into your journey and connect with them on both your high points and low points. And always try to balance growth with contribution and gratitude.

This is how the great accomplishments of our lives are made great—by the great people we’re surrounded with, supported by, and able to share our greatest moments with.

When The Owner Comes Up To Your Table

Published on January 16, 2025

Today, while out at lunch, the owner came up to my table and started a light conversation.

She asked me how the food was… told me a little bit about the dish I ordered and how she made it… and told me to be safe while driving because of heavy snowfall.

It couldn’t have lasted more than 2 minutes and wow… what an impression it made.

What’s more is that before she came to my table, she was chatting it up with another table that had a mom, a dad, and a newborn baby. And while they were chatting I overheard the mom say, “Yeah, it’s her birthday today and we wanted to bring her in to see you! …Can you believe it has already been a year?”

Now, I don’t know if they *actually* know each other outside of the restaurant or not, but I like to think she started a light conversation with them a year-ish ago and they, too, were impressed and kept coming back as a result…

This is really all it takes to make a lasting impression…

A little initiative… A good intention… and a genuine interest…

The rest… surely enough… tends to take care of itself.

On Attracting Amazing People Into Your Life

Published on January 12, 2025

Tonight, I met some of my sister’s favorite people for the first time.

And towards the end of the night, as she was reinforcing to me why she loved them as much as she did—because of how kind, funny, supportive, adventurous, generous, loving, spontaneous, and so forth, they each were—she told me she often wondered how she got so lucky.

And I told her it was simple…

The people she attracted into her life were a reflection of her. It was because she was kind, funny, supportive, adventurous, generous, loving, spontaneous, and so forth that those very same kinds of people were attracted to her. And that it was no coincidence that so many amazing people loved being friends with her.

…Because she put the work in to become amazing herself.

P.s. ICYMI you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

Reserved. Quiet. Observant.

Published on December 29, 2024

When I’m around people I don’t know and in an environment I’m unfamiliar with, my default setting is to be reserved, quiet, and observant.

And once I recognized this in myself… I recognized there needed to be a conscious and deliberate effort in intentionality if I wanted to be social, outgoing, or take chances on meeting people.

You can’t grow from the problem you haven’t first recognized.

P.s. Love yourself.

The Best Gift You Can Give

Published on December 24, 2024

There are countless gifts being exchanged across the world during this time of the year.

And I’m sure you have many gifts you’ll be exchanging as well.

A question: What gift are you most excited to give?

…And why?

Is it because of how personable it is? How hard it was to find? How much time/energy/effort went into making it/deciding on it?

Ultimately… the gift we’re most excited to give is the one we probably think is going to elicit the biggest emotional response.

Because at the end of the day, what we’re really after when we exchange gifts isn’t an item for another item… what we’re after is an exchange of emotions. Joy for joy. Gratitude for gratitude. Excitement for excitement.

Remember this not only as you’re giving gifts… but as you’re receiving gifts, too.

Sometimes, the best gift you can give has nothing to do with anything you bought… but rather has everything to do with the type of responses you give when you open something someone else bought you.

Clawing Tooth And Nail For Status

Published on November 15, 2024

When most people hear tournament, they think competition… they think going up against others to score some kind of win or victory… they think comparison opportunity.

This past weekend, while hosting a martial arts tournament, I was thoroughly impressed with one of the visiting masters who brought an entirely different kind of energy to the event.

Rather than a, “let’s see how many of their students we can beat…” kind of energy, what he brought was a “let’s show appreciation to those who are helping promote the spread of traditional martial arts…” kind of energy.

And he showed up, not with an intention of taking as many of our trophies as possible, but with official certificates of appreciation that they honored several of our staff with.

…What he brought was honor and dignity to our event. More than was there before.

And in a world where so many people are focused exclusively on social hierarchies and clawing tooth and nail to improve their status… this was exactly the kind of breath of fresh air I—most probably we—needed.

Inner Work Prompt: Rather than focus on how you might be better than others or how they might be worse… how can you bring honor and dignity to those around you instead?

Take Control or Get Controlled

Published on November 11, 2024

In reply to my post yesterday, one reader quoted the following line:

“Surround yourself with people who feel like a dark cloud or barren desert and you’ll struggle accordingly. Surround yourself with people who act like sun and water and you’ll grow just fine.”

…And said, “…I wish we could hear this on mainstream media.”

To which I replied, “Agreed. Mainstream media is feeling more and more like dark clouds and barren desert by the day. Guess we’ll have to make our own sun and water and surround ourselves with people who think and do the same.”

…Because here’s what’s crucial to understand: the less we try to take control over the amount of sun and water that touches our life, the more we’ll get controlled by the dark clouds and barren deserts.

…Because dark clouds and barren deserts don’t wait patiently for their turn or passively idle in the background of our life… they’re aggressive seekers of power/attention/control and will only continue to succeed in obtaining exactly that the more people (hopefully not us) decide to go with the modern flow and relent.

P.s. I finished uploading quotes from Waking Up by Sam Harris. You can read my 19 favorites here.