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Category: The Nature Of Suffering

Never Miss A Story

My internet browser told me today, “Turn on Brave news and never miss a story.”

And boy does that sound awful.

But boy do people in society treat it as their duty to be “in the know” 24/7 and submit to the never-ending news cycle that pedals fear, hate, and doom round and round and round the clock.

Here’s a newsflash: it’s not.

In fact, missing just about all of the modern day news stories would probably result in a massive upgrade in mental health if I had to speculate.

Because here’s what’s not speculation: “If it bleeds, it leads“; “If it burns; it earns“; and it can only take around 14 minutes of news consumption to increase anxiety and depression symptoms.

…Imagine never missing a story where stories built on the above pillars are being pedaled 24/7?

Yeah. Maybe they need to change their pitch.

And yeah, maybe we need to reconsider our “duty.”

Meditating On Death

Sometimes, I’ll do a death meditation where I’ll find a comfortable seated position, close my eyes, calm my breath and body… and imagine different scenarios that lead to my death.

I know it sounds crazy, but stay with me here for a minute.

A family member told me today that he got diagnosed with diabetes. And rather than default to meds, he decided he was going to revolutionize his lifestyle and use exercise and a proper diet to fight back. And he’s been fighting back successfully, indeed.

See… it was the IRL diagnosis that lead to the seriousness that lead to the change.

When I open my eyes from those sometimes very serious death meditations—it’s like I’ve taken on a new lease on life—without needing the IRL near death experience.

…And if you can find a way to take very real situations that people face in their very real lives as seriously as they have to—without needing to actually confront the very real situation yourself—you just might prevent that very real situation from making a very real impact on your life altogether.

Why Do Anything Hard Ever?

The start of Burning Man was rough.

There were record breaking wind storms that wreaked havoc, and in many cases, completely ruined people’s camp and art installation setups.

There were rain storms that turned the ground into a feeling of cement mix and halted all travel in any direction for hours and hours on end.

And because of the above, there were unprecedented delays that left burners stranded in the entry line, in their vehicles, for in some cases, 21+ hours—and this was after having driven 6, 8, 12 hours to get into that line.

Burners had to build camp not once—which is already labor intensive and taxing enough as is—but twice because of the above mentioned ordeals, on very little sleep, all well before anything of the event itself could be experienced.

…So, why the heck do it?

Because during those record breaking wind storms, people came together to fight back.

During the periods of prolonged rain, people went out of their way to gift those who were struggling.

When the camp had to be torn down, the team not only did that, but built it back up better and stronger than before.

…Why do anything hard?

Because nothing worthwhile comes easily.

If Burning Man was “plug-and-play” and all people had to do was show up to five star campsites and well paved roads… to perfect weather via seamless flows… without any obstacle or issue or concern…

…Then there wouldn’t be any coming together, no triumph, no victory, no down-and-dirty, no reward.

So much of what makes the reward so rewarding is the challenge and adversity that had to be overcome along the way.

When Hit With Stone… Hit Back With… Bread?

A local born and raised Bosnian was telling me that a common Bosnian mentality is: When hit with stone, hit back with bread.

The idea being similar to the one Mahatma Gandhi is commonly attributed to saying: An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

But what this local Bosnian continued with was: “…But don’t let forgiveness and kindness lead to naiveté and vulnerability.”

Because the man who goes around making people blind, without any remorse, care, or heed needs to be confronted, challenged, and held accountable.

Bosnia is an unbelievably beautiful place. And since I’ve arrived, every single Bosnian I’ve met has hit me with bread. And more bread. And even after I was full—more bread after that. The hospitality is unmatched.

One thing you’ll notice about the city, however, is that there are still architectural “scars” scattered throughout from a time when they were hit with stone… and then barraged with stone during the Bosnian War.

…Abandoned buildings with bullet holes standing next to fully renovated apartments. Modern restaurants sitting under structures that have massive holes from bombings. Once beautifully designed, impressive feats of architectural ingenuity and creativity, stand ruined… behind vine-filled fences… right in the heart of the city.

Why are they still there and not torn down, fully renovated, or at least patched up so as not to be on display for all to see?

I can’t know all the factors, but at the very least I suspect they’re there because scars are meant to serve as reminders.

…That maybe when someone hits you with stone, you do your due diligence before you hit them back with bread.

Spirit > Talent

There was a black belt pre test at the martial arts school I teach at this past Friday.

There are no superfluous performances at this test—no weapons, no board breaking, no elaborately choreographed self-defense or fight scenes—just pure traditional martial arts requirements and spirit testing.

The goal is to have a guest panel of Master Instructors—who haven’t been involved in the candidate preparation process—oversee the test and objectively determine if the students reach the standards of our Association.

And for about an hour and a half to two hours… they get tested.

Towards the end of the test… once they’re physically and mentally fatigued and have already been asked to give 100% of what they have on each of the required areas… they’re asked to do it all again during a final spirit test. And it’s in these final minutes that the entire test can be made or broken.

Because what we’re trying to test isn’t body coordination… and it isn’t even athleticism… although both of those areas matter… it’s spirit.

Because with indomitable spirit… athleticism can be built… the body can be further coordinated… the manner in which they’re going to hold themselves—even when they’re not wearing their uniform or rank—will be honored.

But, athleticism or talented coordination without spirit? …It’s putting the cart before the horse.

Which isn’t to say there’s anything wrong with having a talented and maybe lazy student… it’s simply a reminder to not put their talent ahead of their lazy. Because lazy is the horse… and talent is the cart.

I Have A Headache

I am writing to you today with a pretty intense headache.

And I know exactly why I have it.

I’ve been drinking coffee at 3pm-ish every day since I was 14 (which is when I’m usually getting ready to teach Martial Arts for the rest of the evening).

…But, today, like I do every now and again, I didn’t.

Now, I could have poured a cup or popped a pill to make it go away… but, working through this experience is also a part of the inner work journey.

I want to truly feel what my body feels when it doesn’t get that substance… I want to learn how to receive the pain and keep moving forward… I want to learn how to think with clarity even when there’s a throbbing pulse blanketing the circumference of my head.

I’m not going to cold turkey coffee and I’m not advising you to skip taking substances in your life per se.

I’m simply reminding you that not all pain needs to be erratically avoided. Sometimes it’s the pain we’re so avidly trying to avoid that we need to learn how to lean into before we can (finally) grow what strength is required for our next evolved version.

Craving, Attachment, and Desire

Edgar Allen Poe once said, “All suffering originates from craving, from attachment, from desire.”

I want you to take a minute to reflect on the suffering you’re experiencing in your life right now.

…Can you trace the root of the suffering back to one of these causes?

If so, I want you to next identify whether the suffering is a superficial creation done by social media, mass marketing, and/or living in a materialistic culture… or if it’s created from something deeper.

Some suffering is meant to be felt. Heartbreak; loss; wrongdoing… this is the kind of suffering that makes you truly appreciate… that wakes you up to your purpose… that turns your attention inward and forces inner growth.

…And some suffering is completely unnecessary and doesn’t need to be felt at all.