The first Everybody knows of Dreams of Lusts over Forever plans for That reveals small pockets During hard to find time It’s the second The less talked about The less sexy The kind that happens From the confines of a chair That reveals entirety During time that's always been there
If I wanted to balance a long stick on just one finger, I would use trial and error.
I would guess and place my finger at a center point, catch it when (if) it tipped, readjust my finger, and repeat until I had it.
If you want to maintain your emotional center, following the same, simple formula might help.
First, get a gauge on which emotional direction you’re tipping. Then, identify the emotional opposite. And, like when you’re trying to balance a long stick on your finger, adjust until you find equilibrium. Some examples:
But, not too much of the opposite, of course, because then you’ll tip in that direction instead.
Having too much of a good thing can cause you to emotionally lose balance all the same.
As Aristotle famously suggested, shoot for the mean between extremes.
Where you’re neither overly sensitive nor senseless, but aligned, aware, and at peace.
Get more bored.
I find that the more I force myself into boredom, the more creative I get.
Conversely, the more distracted and entertained I am, the less creative I get.
When do I get some of my best ideas? While I’m showering, driving, walking, napping, meditating, staring at a blank screen… it’s when my mind is bored and free to wander.
And it’s not even close...
When do I rarely ever get ideas? While I’m working, watching TV, playing a game, having gossip-y type conversation, or otherwise actively engaged in some thought-provoking tasks.
You might think you’re“not the creative type” or that you“lost” your creative touch.
I’m willing to bet you haven’t and that you are—we all have creative energy inside of us.
You’re just not allowing yourself to get bored long enough.
The deepest form of loneliness doesn’t come from being estranged from others.
It comes from being estranged from ourself.
How do we become estranged from ourself?
The same way we might become estranged from others:
The relationship we have with ourself is no different. We must:
When you become a kind and loving friend to yourself, how could you ever truly be lonely?
Most of us will choose a familiar pain over an unknown alternative.
We gravitate towards the familiar because it gives us a false sense of safety.
And so long as we continue to cling to that false sense of safety, we shouldn’t expect to get anything different than the same old, familiar pain. Time and time again.
But, what if, what lies in the unknown isn’t greater pain, but a place where there’s better pain?
What if, it’s precisely in the unknown where the pains of growth, love, and healing lie?
Pain is a signal.
From your body? It’s a signal that should lead to rest, rehab, reflection, recovery, TLC, behavior change, and/or the seeking of professional help.
From your emotions? It’s a signal that should lead to, well, rest, rehab, reflection, recovery, TLC, behavior change, and/or the seeking of professional help.
Pain is not a signal to speed up—it’s a signal to slow down or stop altogether.
Don’t ignore signals.
Trauma comes from clinging.
Healing comes from letting go.
When you white-knuckle the trauma of your past, of course it’ll stay with you. You’re dragging it along with tightly clenched fists. It should be of no surprise that every time you turn around, there it is.
The first step towards healing, before you can move away from your trauma, is to loosen your grip and drop the weight of the baggage that you’ve been working so hard to carry. Baggage that was unfairly given to you—imposed upon you.
It’s not yours to carry. It was never yours to carry.
Once it’s dropped, check your state. Unclench your jaw. Drop your shoulders. Relax the muscles in your face. Take a deep breath in. And as you breath out, take a good hard look at everything you’ve been dragging behind. And not just the things at the top of the bag, but the things at the bottom of the bag, too. Confront it all.
You probably won’t be able to do this in one day, and that’s okay. Take whatever time you need. But make it (and keep it) a priority.
Then (and this is key) take from those bags only what’s of value. The lessons, the points of connection, the direction—whatever can be utilized—and leave the rest of that shit behind. If it has no practical use, then it has no use being in your bag.
When you repack your bags, pack light.
This is not the end of the journey for you.
This is but the beginning.