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Category: Transforming Pain

Mental Health Day Reminders

Published on October 10, 2021

Don’t fake being okay.

It’s okay to not be okay.

All of your feelings are valid.

You may screw up, but you’re not a screw up.

Asking for help isn’t quitting, it’s a sign of determination.

Expressing your feelings isn’t weakening—it’s empowering.

You deserve to get help, seek support, take days off, and get better.

Comparison is a killer—do the best you can with what you have, where you are.

You are more than your anxious thoughts, your past trauma, your mistakes, your flaws and your mental illness.

Cut yourself some slack. Don’t rush the process of healing. It’s okay to have off, unproductive, emotional days. It’s okay to rest.

You are not alone and you don’t have to fight your battles alone. There are people, just like you, who are seeking connection and support.

Always choose love and kindness—for others and especially for yourself.

Grumpy People

Published on October 8, 2021

My aunt on a grumpy hotel employee:

“Maybe he was just having a bad day. Maybe he had to poop and he couldn’t. You just don’t know.”

My new life philosophy for grumpy people.

Deplete Pain Of Its Power

Published on October 1, 2021

All pain is real.

Because pain is subjective and is only really experienced by the experiencer.

This is why no one can or should tell you how to feel about your pain.

Only you can be the judge of that.

That said, the intensity of your pain is also only yours to manage.

So, here’s one handy trick that can help deplete pain of its power: stop trying to prove how badly you’ve been hurt.

You have nothing to prove.

And even your best attempts to prove your pain only end up intensifying it.

Better would be to treat pain like the signal it is and respond to that signal deliberately and with compassion.

Much better than catastrophizing it just so that people might believe you that it’s there.

Two Kinds Of Travel

Published on August 29, 2021 
The first
Everybody knows of
Dreams of
Lusts over
Forever plans for
That reveals small pockets
During hard to find time

It’s the second
The less talked about
The less sexy
The kind that happens
From the confines of a chair
That reveals entirety
During time that's always been there

Can You Balance A Stick On Your Finger?

Published on August 25, 2021

If I wanted to balance a long stick on just one finger, I would use trial and error.

I would guess and place my finger at a center point, catch it when (if) it tipped, readjust my finger, and repeat until I had it.

If you want to maintain your emotional center, following the same, simple formula might help.

First, get a gauge on which emotional direction you’re tipping. Then, identify the emotional opposite. And, like when you’re trying to balance a long stick on your finger, adjust until you find equilibrium. Some examples:

  • When you find yourself tipping towards anger, balance yourself out with good humor.
  • When you’re tipping towards frustration, balance in sources of satisfaction.
  • When you’re feeling sad and gloomy, incorporate some sources of joy and good cheer.

But, not too much of the opposite, of course, because then you’ll tip in that direction instead.

Having too much of a good thing can cause you to emotionally lose balance all the same.

As Aristotle famously suggested, shoot for the mean between extremes.

Where you’re neither overly sensitive nor senseless, but aligned, aware, and at peace.

Feeling A Creativity Dip?

Published on August 18, 2021

Get more bored.

I find that the more I force myself into boredom, the more creative I get.

Conversely, the more distracted and entertained I am, the less creative I get.

When do I get some of my best ideas? While I’m showering, driving, walking, napping, meditating, staring at a blank screen… it’s when my mind is bored and free to wander.

And it’s not even close...

When do I rarely ever get ideas? While I’m working, watching TV, playing a game, having gossip-y type conversation, or otherwise actively engaged in some thought-provoking tasks.

You might think you’re“not the creative type” or that you“lost” your creative touch.

I’m willing to bet you haven’t and that you are—we all have creative energy inside of us.

You’re just not allowing yourself to get bored long enough.

The Deepest Form Of Loneliness

Published on August 16, 2021

The deepest form of loneliness doesn’t come from being estranged from others.

It comes from being estranged from ourself.

How do we become estranged from ourself?

The same way we might become estranged from others:

  • By not being friendly.
  • By not initiating conversation.
  • By not asking interesting questions.
  • By not surrounding ourself with people whom we might relate to.
  • By not doing what we say we’ll do or following up on things discussed.

The relationship we have with ourself is no different. We must:

  • Be kind to ourself.
  • Initiate and properly guide our inner conversations.
  • Learn how to ask better, more empowering questions.
  • Immerse ourself in environments and media that is constructive.
  • Do the things we say we’ll do and check in with ourself regularly.

When you become a kind and loving friend to yourself, how could you ever truly be lonely?