Skip to content

Category: Transforming Pain

…Now What?

Published on May 28, 2026

Dear busy person,

A colleague and friend of mine just found out he has 6 months to 2 years to live.

This news could’ve just as easily been given to you.

…It could actually be beneficial for you to imagine it was.

Close your eyes. Visualize yourself in a doctor’s office after getting tests done the previous week. Today is results day. The doctor comes in and gets right to the point—no small talk. The above is the situation. And it’s said plainly and as a matter of fact. He says he’s sorry and walks out.

…What exactly were you so busy doing again?

…What was it that you were complaining about again?

…What important thing(s) did you say you were going to wait until later to do again?

The thought of death gives us the urgency to really live—whatever that means to you.

But when we bury death as an abstract, foreign concept into the deep, dark corners of our mind—we lose that urgency, don’t we?

Maybe it’s time we resurface it. Maybe it’s time we think about it again. Maybe today is a good day to imagine we only have 6 months left to live.

…Now what?

A Walk By The Water

Published on May 19, 2026

“You should take him on a vacation… so that he can best enjoy the time he has left.”

“…Why? So we can forget and drink beers on the beach? …No. No. I’m not doing that. I’m not letting him give up. I’m not giving up. I’ll take him for a walk by the water… so we can talk. I think that’s what he needs most—what he wants most right now. I’ll even help him change is lifestyle so that all the crap gets cut. But quitting isn’t what I want on either of our minds.”

—After hearing a mutual friend’s cancer metastasized and there was nothing more the doctors could do.

The “Fruits” Of Life

Published on May 2, 2026

This weekend I’m participating in a 15+ hour martial arts training camp honoring the legacy of the late, great Professor Remy Amador Presas.

And in the martial arts world, this is how you honor another martial artist’s legacy: by training… by resurfacing their teachings… by sharing the art they helped create with the next generations…

…By actively bringing back to life the “fruits” of their life’s work.

And for those of you out there who have lost someone… maybe use this as a means of mediation: what was the “fruit” of that person’s life? And how can you actively care for those fruits so as to keep them alive? Who might you share these fruits with?

GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO

Published on April 14, 2026

When there’s a lot going on and a lot to do, people can busy themselves in the distractions—just like they’re used to doing in their everyday private lives with screens, internet, and AI.

When there’s not a lot going on and nothing to do, most modern day people feel immediately a lack… like there’s something missing… and all of the usual fast-paced, quick dopamine-hitting energy pools and can feel pent up in a way that can sometimes feel like anxiety or irritability. Like: GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO.

But what many of us don’t realize is that what we don’t give to distractions… doesn’t hurt our inner self… but is actually what we get to keep for ourselves. And that feeling of pent up energy? Is the perfect pool to channel and pull from for imagination, creativity, inner work, connection building, personal growth activities, and so on.

I’ve noticed this in myself as of late: the anxiety that builds the longer I avoid looking at my phone: particularly as I sit down to write each afternoon. “I’m missing something.” “I need to check on this or that.” “I wonder if he/she replied yet.” …And sometimes I cave. But sometimes I stay in that feeling of “anxiety” long enough to realize, it’s just a well of energy waiting to be tapped into and channelled into the very tasks that add depth and meaning to my life.

…And so it is for you.

On Practicing Death

Published on April 2, 2026

We practice death every day.

Every time something comes to an end we’re given a chance.

A song. A dance. A day.

We can practice kicking and screaming or ignoring and suppressing or distracting and distancing…

Or we can accept that what made it so beautiful was that it ended after all. And we can cherish… savor… appreciate…

…And try to more fully receive all that’s packed inside the moments that come next.

…In those moments where we so fortunately get to practice again. And again. And again.

…All the way until The End.

Takeaways And Insights Unshared

Published on March 23, 2026

One of my tasks as a writer is to convert experiences into words.

…Share some of the takeaways and insights of life in a way that others can utilize and download into their own worldviews.

And in this way, the tide that raises the boat of my understanding gets shared into the tide that might also raise the boat of their understanding as well.

Because in some ways, takeaways and insights unshared become water held on board the boat. And rather than getting added to the tide that raise the boats of all, it becomes a weight that pulls the level of their boat down.

…Which isn’t to say every takeaway and insight needs to be shared.

It’s simply to say, being the only person around with takeaways and insights becomes a sort of weight rather than achievement.

Takeaways and insights are meant to be shared so that those around can, not only deepen their understanding (and ability to connect more deeply with you), but contribute back takeaways and insights of their own (and add back to the tide you both share).

The tide won’t raise on its own.

We’ll Never Know

Published on March 22, 2026

I found out yesterday my 90-something year old neighbor passed away a couple weeks ago.

It was apparently of natural causes and while she was asleep.

And while I was just writing about how Lisa Lux was devoting all of her energy towards healing and squeezing every drop of presence out of life with what little time she had left… my 90-something year old neighbor apparently was frequently wondering what was taking so long.

Her husband had apparently passed away in the late 1970s and she eventually got to a point where she would ask her daughter… why do you think I’ve lived as long as I have? Why me? Why not my husband? Why not my grandchild—who died in his 20s? Why not somebody else?

And the truth is: we’ll never know.

What makes this life so very special is that we’ll never know.

And it’s the knowing this… the keeping death close in our minds… and not the opposite… that turns time into memories… energy into experiences… life into legacy…