Category: Transforming Pain

Misery Has No Outer Cause

Published on February 2, 2026

…It is only ever caused from within.

People saying ugly things about you? …Speaks only to the quality of mind from which they came—ugly words come from ugly minds. Nobody can insult you without your consent.

The news featuring hateful, horrific events? …Illustrates only the need for its antidote: love. We don’t fight fire with fire. We don’t gouge an eye for an eye. We strategize, organize, and fuel our efforts with life’s strongest emotional resource: love.

Living a toxic/imbalanced/unhealthy lifestyle? …It’s supposed to result in misery, because it’s supposed to force you to change. Understanding this emotion changes the emotion. It’s no longer something awful to be suppressed—it’s something caring that’s to be honored.

To realize this is to realize an unbelievable power.

One where insults, hate, and toxicity no longer cause misery.

…But have no effect on your inner weather at all.

What affects your inner weather is what you allow… what you consent to… what you honor, organize, and prioritize.

Proceed accordingly.

Story vs Naked Advice

Published on January 19, 2026

I read a super basic personal development post the other day.

It offered basic listicle style advice (think: S.M.A.R.T. Goals) and included pretty standard examples.

And there’s nothing wrong with this.

But the more I read and write, the more I realize how important story is.

Like… give me some personal context… some uniqueness… make me travel somewhere new… tell me how you’ve fallen, and clawed, and survived… tell me about your North Star; your light. Tell me what got you through the dark… through the dirt. Tell me what helped you… who helped you. And what they said. Tell me specific examples and yes… get into the nitty gritty. Tell me what also fell flat. Tell me a story like this and reel me in. Tell me how you’ve bled.

Teleport me somewhere and make my screen disappear.

Then…

Tell me the insight/advice.

Leaving everything above out with just the few lines of advice does very little for me. And not to mention you’re not even a real life, in front of me human… you’re pixels popping up on my screen. Write something that’ll make me connect with you. In a way that doesn’t extend screen to eye, but in a way that travels eye to eye… where screen and pixels disappear… where the internet and clouds and apps do what they were originally intended to do… and connect us human-to-human with just a few clicks. One mind being downloaded, encoded into 1s and 0s, sent like lightening to the other, decoded back to word and phrases… and read seamlessly within seconds.

Yes… tell me your story.

Forget a few lines of naked advice.

On Creating While Tired And Near Misery

Published on January 13, 2026

I take my writing streak seriously.

And I can remember many nights when I would get home late, after an exhausting day, have nothing drafted, and be faced with the pain-staking decision of whether I should try to force a creation or rest.

…I can even remember nights when I would arrive to my computer at 2am, barely able to open my laptop, hunched so close to the screen that the blue light might as well have been injected right into my retinas, hazily and hastily trying to replay and recreate a moment or story from the day, one that I could squeeze a drop of insight from, from a frame of mind where all that seemed to be happening was an HD recording of the misery and toughness that I kept choosing to sit in moment after moment… after moment.

…And yet.

In those moments when I did see my way through… I never felt regret for what was created.

See there’s something whimsical and divine about creating in those spaces in between the awake and the asleep state.

…Where thoughts are free to merge together while floating in a dream-like haze.

…Where you’re too tired to care about rules… about perfection… about opinions.

…Where identity and brand melts away and pure life source and collective unconscious remains.

There’s no question that creating while well rested, organized, and motivated is effective.

And there’s no doubt that in many cases, rest will be the better decision made.

…But don’t underestimate the power and potential of creating while tired and near misery.

Never Miss A Story

Published on December 20, 2025

My internet browser told me today, “Turn on Brave news and never miss a story.”

And boy does that sound awful.

But boy do people in society treat it as their duty to be “in the know” 24/7 and submit to the never-ending news cycle that pedals fear, hate, and doom round and round and round the clock.

Here’s a newsflash: it’s not.

In fact, missing just about all of the modern day news stories would probably result in a massive upgrade in mental health if I had to speculate.

Because here’s what’s not speculation: “If it bleeds, it leads“; “If it burns; it earns“; and it can only take around 14 minutes of news consumption to increase anxiety and depression symptoms.

…Imagine never missing a story where stories built on the above pillars are being pedaled 24/7?

Yeah. Maybe they need to change their pitch.

And yeah, maybe we need to reconsider our “duty.”

“Do You Feel That…? That’s Proud.”

Published on December 3, 2025

One of my martial arts students lost his belt a few weeks ago because he was hitting people and being unsafe in various situations.

Yesterday, he finally earned it back.

And right in that moment of elation while he was hugging it and looking to his guardian’s face for cues on how to feel and act… she pointed to his chest and said, “Do you feel that? That’s proud. You’re proud of yourself for doing so much better at managing big emotions and being safe.”

Naming the emotion, especially for kids who are navigating whirlwinds of complicated ever-changing emotions, is one of the fundamental first steps in helping them understand how to act and respond to what’s otherwise unknown, unidentified, and unclear.

…And so it is for adults.

Because what happens when there are big unknown, unidentified, and unclear emotions is that we start busting at the seams with energy that we don’t know how to direct—and we start reacting (mindlessly) instead of responding (mindfully).

But big emotions aren’t something to fear—it’s the very substance of what gives our lives vibrancy. We simply need to learn how to better identify what it is we’re feeling so that we can respond (not react) in ways that are proven to help.

For example:

Feeling anxious/overwhelmed? Go for a walk and/or do mindfulness/breathing exercises.
Feeling angry/frustrated? Create a relationship boundary or stand up for what’s right.
Feeling stressed? (Re)prioritize rest or engaging in hobbies you enjoy.

How are you feeling right now? Can you name the emotion? Do you know how to direct the energy of the emotion in a constructive way? Try doing this at least one time today.

Befriend Feeling Bad

Published on October 27, 2025

It’s good to feel bad, without it, there would be no cause for you to push back for good.

I felt unhealthy this week, for example, and it made me feel bad. But it made me push back and I had an extra healthy grocery shopping trip for this upcoming week.

I’ve been missing my evening reading time because I’ve been going to bed so late and I’ve felt bad about it. But I can feel the push to get back on track with it as the book I’m reading stares me down each night I climb into bed without giving it any attention.

I felt bad about judging a homeless person in a restaurant. But, after listening to how a mother spoke to him and listened to him and helped him, it gave me cause to push back on that reflex and do better.

The point is, don’t excuse/ suppress/ or ignore feeling bad about things—befriend that feeling. Use it to magnify the energy and effort you’ll devote towards pushing back for the good.

Meditating On Death

Published on September 25, 2025

Sometimes, I’ll do a death meditation where I’ll find a comfortable seated position, close my eyes, calm my breath and body… and imagine different scenarios that lead to my death.

I know it sounds crazy, but stay with me here for a minute.

A family member told me today that he got diagnosed with diabetes. And rather than default to meds, he decided he was going to revolutionize his lifestyle and use exercise and a proper diet to fight back. And he’s been fighting back successfully, indeed.

See… it was the IRL diagnosis that lead to the seriousness that lead to the change.

When I open my eyes from those sometimes very serious death meditations—it’s like I’ve taken on a new lease on life—without needing the IRL near death experience.

…And if you can find a way to take very real situations that people face in their very real lives as seriously as they have to—without needing to actually confront the very real situation yourself—you just might prevent that very real situation from making a very real impact on your life altogether.