Category: Transforming Pain

We all wear masks.

…It isn’t a bad strategy.

• We smile at strangers—even when we’re sad.
• We cheer for good news—even when we’re envious.
• We share life highlights—and play mum about our life low points.

It’s when we don’t take our masks off that the strategy turns bad.

• If we never confront that sadness—we’ll multiply its effects.
• If we never confront that envy—we’ll only perpetuate it forward.
• If we never talk about our low points—we’ll only force the pain deeper through suppression.

We need to give our “face” space to breathe.

• When we’re feeling sad, we need to have an outlet—mine is silent meditation.
• When we’re feeling envious, we need to have an outlet—mine is introspective writing.
• When we’re feeling overwhelmed by our lows, we need to have an outlet—mine is conversation with people I trust.

My question for you is: are you giving your face enough space to breathe?

Undesired emotions left untapped, swell.

The more those undesired emotions swell, the worse they become.

With mindfulness, we can tap into that swollen reservoir and give those emotions the path they need to flow.

This path allows the body to drain those unpleasant feelings, energy-guzzling thoughts, and hazy perspectives that make the emotions so undesirable.

But, worth noting: this doesn’t make them “bad” or “negative.” For the very nature of an undesired emotion is to signal to us that something is wrong.

And knowing that something is wrong is vital for our survival as humans.

So pay your undesired emotions some mind. Give them the light of your attention. Allow them some space in your day. The longer the emotion(s) get(s) ignored—the worse that “wrong” thing will get.

Remember, once they feel heard, they will flow.

Which will allow space for the opposite type of emotion to grow.

And this is what allows for the real transformations to take place.

If we don’t give poignant emotions space to move, they collect and become static—like a lake.

This is a problem because lakes have no means of filtration. They just collect and hold—trash, toxicity, diseases, and all. This isn’t a good formula for life.

Life is movement. Death is no movement.

The problem escalates, of course, when what opens up into our lake is a sewage drain that pours in more toxicity via news, media, gossip, drama, and hate.

…And then we wonder why we can become so overwhelmingly anxious, irritable, and befuddled inside?!

The solution, then, is to become an emotional river instead.

Rather than allowing what’s emotionally swelling to be suppressed, we should find ways we can give those feelings space to move.

Space that doesn’t come from distraction (anything that pulls our attention away from our emotional awareness is a distraction), but space that comes from a place of careful inward mindfulness.

Writing, meditating, therapeutic conversations, etc—are all great examples.

And just a few minutes a day can give emotions the space they need to keep flowing through (and eventually out from) our systems.