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Category: Transforming Pain

No Harm; No Foul

Published on April 22, 2022

Don’t let upset people upset you.

Don’t let angry people anger you.

Don’t let frustrated people frustrate you.

Let your mind become a relentless filter that protects the purity of your thoughts from the unforgiving (oftentimes misunderstood) feelings of the world.

How to do this?

By understanding that:

Upset people are feeling upset for a reason.

Angry people would much rather not be angry.

Frustrated people have been trying their hardest and to no avail.

Once we stop taking things personally and understand that everybody is probably just doing the best they can, with what they have (and have been given), where they are—we can approach these interactions with compassion and curiosity instead.

And, if it becomes obvious that they are not interested in changing their state or getting any help from you—you move on.

No harm; no foul.

Their state is a reflection of them—your state is a reflection of you.

No need to get them twisted.

The Impact of Inner Peace

Published on April 19, 2022

Acquire a sense of inner peace and you’ll save thousands of others.

When people are in times of conflict, even more important sometimes than words of advice or helpful actions is simply a peaceful presence.

A solid boulder that can slow the raging river. A brick house that can protect against the ravaging storm. A clear mind that can cut through the invasive fog.

See, a person who has acquired a sense of inner peace brings peace with them everywhere they go. Their impact is made constantly without any specific efforts on their part.

…And so it is for the person who carries conflict with them everywhere they go.

If we care about the impact we have on others, what we have to remember is the lesson that Maya Angelou so wisely shared: “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.”

Which means: what people feel from our presence is where the real impact is made.

Focus less on always having to say or do exactly the right thing. A lot of times, the stress and anxiety produced by this desire becomes counterproductive to the very message we’re working so hard to get right.

Focus on being instead.

Being intentional. Being compassionate. Being mindful. Being grateful. Being calm.

Being at peace.

Our impact outward will ripple in proportion to the impact we’ve made on ourselves inward.

Swollen Emotions

Published on April 6, 2022

Undesired emotions left untapped, swell.

The more those undesired emotions swell, the worse they become.

With mindfulness, we can tap into that swollen reservoir and give those emotions the path they need to flow.

This path allows the body to drain those unpleasant feelings, energy-guzzling thoughts, and hazy perspectives that make the emotions so undesirable.

But, worth noting: this doesn’t make them “bad” or “negative.” For the very nature of an undesired emotion is to signal to us that something is wrong.

And knowing that something is wrong is vital for our survival as humans.

So pay your undesired emotions some mind. Give them the light of your attention. Allow them some space in your day. The longer the emotion(s) get(s) ignored—the worse that “wrong” thing will get.

Remember, once they feel heard, they will flow.

Which will allow space for the opposite type of emotion to grow.

And this is what allows for the real transformations to take place.

Becoming An Emotional River

Published on April 5, 2022

If we don’t give poignant emotions space to move, they collect and become static—like a lake.

This is a problem because lakes have no means of filtration. They just collect and hold—trash, toxicity, diseases, and all. This isn’t a good formula for life.

Life is movement. Death is no movement.

The problem escalates, of course, when what opens up into our lake is a sewage drain that pours in more toxicity via news, media, gossip, drama, and hate.

…And then we wonder why we can become so overwhelmingly anxious, irritable, and befuddled inside?!

The solution, then, is to become an emotional river instead.

Rather than allowing what’s emotionally swelling to be suppressed, we should find ways we can give those feelings space to move.

Space that doesn’t come from distraction (anything that pulls our attention away from our emotional awareness is a distraction), but space that comes from a place of careful inward mindfulness.

Writing, meditating, therapeutic conversations, etc—are all great examples.

And just a few minutes a day can give emotions the space they need to keep flowing through (and eventually out from) our systems.

Carving Doorways

Published on April 3, 2022

One of the most beautiful things you can do when you’re overly emotional is carefully describe what it is you’re feeling.

Not only does this practice help you, but your account may carve a doorway where, for another, existed nothing but walls.

Escaping Hell [Poem]

Published on March 25, 2022 
How do you tell someone
How to break free
from the grips of hell
When they’re the one
With burns
Cuts
Scrapes
Bruises
And gashes;

And all you’ve got are words
From unblemished pages 
And pure intentions

Missed [Poem]

Published on March 21, 2022 
Be someone who’s missed
They said

So I spent my life
Collecting notifications
From distant platforms
To prove to myself
That people think of me

I thought
But something was missed