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Category: Transforming Pain

Everything Is Fine

Published on October 19, 2022

My car was recently up for inspection.

It drove fine. Oil and fluids were good. No suspicious noises or lights. It wasn’t pulling in any direction…

Taking it in felt like a waste of time.

But, when I did, lo’ and behold… my brakes were shot.

They needed to be replaced immediately.

This is why we do maintenance checks EVEN WHEN everything feels fine.

Because we might catch and address things before they’re definitely not fine.

And in case you didn’t catch it… this post has nothing to do with cars.

P.s. I’m on a mission to help busy people do inner work—so that they can live better lives. If these daily pieces have impacted you, you can support my ongoing work here. ☕️

The Space Between A Line And 66 Hours

Published on October 18, 2022

Seth Godin pointed out that even the longest biography is only 66 hours on audio… which means the author has to leave out almost everything.

What’s more, is that when it comes time for people to reflect on you and your life, they will likely summarize who you were and what you stood for in a line or two.

That’s right… decades and decades of life… in a mere line of words.

…Nobody is reading a 66 hour biography at a remembrance of your life.

This space, between a line and 66 hours of audio, is the space you have to fill with legacy.

Those who plug their ears and “la-la-la” this thought are usually the ones who end up with regrets and a “mismatched” legacy.

Those who do the hard work of picking out their “line or two” now and use it as a guidepost for the rest of their life… are usually the ones who live lives that stand out—the kind that are deliberate, aligned, and inspiring.

Ask yourself: What do you hope people would say about you? What do you hope they would write? What do you want to be remembered for in one breath of words?

Now is the time to figure it out—while you’re alive and still have a say. Pick your legacy, embody it, and let your actions paint the picture of your legacy that’ll inspire thousands of words to follow. Live your masterpiece life.

P.s. Want to read more on legacy? Read my personal collection of 100+ quotes and resources on legacy here.

Emotional Pain

Published on October 12, 2022

You can’t take away other people’s emotional pain.

No matter how much you love them; care for them; feel sympathy for them.

Emotional pain, like physical pain, is for the beholder to bear.

Any attempt to take away or “shoulder” another person’s emotional pain will only further delay their healing process. Because feeling is how emotional pain is released.

Be aware that you’re shouldering other people’s emotional pain when you:

  • Try to fix relationship issues that aren’t yours to fix
  • Have tough conversations for people that don’t involve you
  • Micromanage someone’s lifestyle because “you know better”

There is no way around it; there is no “transferrable” option—the pain we’ve been dealt is the pain we have to confront.

What you can do, as a person who feels compassion for another person experiencing pain, is give them support—particularly your presence.

The same kind of support you would offer someone who got physically hurt.

You wouldn’t say: “Oh gosh! That looks like it hurts… want me to heal that pain for you?”

You’d do things more along the lines of:

  • Helping remove them from painful situations (so it doesn’t get worse)
  • Helping them get more comfortable/calm (so they can deal with the pain in a better state)
  • Helping them get unrelated things done (so that they can have more energy for healing)

And, of course, just being present is powerful in and of itself.

This lets them know that they’re not alone to bear the weight of the pain; that it’s okay to feel and isn’t something that needs to be hidden; that they are accepted—even during their low points.

And what a true gift that can be.

Your Mind Is Infected

Published on October 5, 2022

…All of our minds are.

With negativity, judgment, doubt, hate, jealousy…

It comes with the territory of being human—we’re emotional, comparative, imperfect creatures.

Knowing this—embodying this—we can begin our work of healing.

If you ignore this and pretend like your mind isn’t—you can’t.

Never assume your mind is immune to infectious beliefs.

Stand guard to the door of your mind and actively send soldiers of positivity, acceptance, belief, love, and compassion to confront the rebel infections trying to overtake your mind.

In other words: speak—both inwardly and outwardly—with the aim and intent of being cured as consistently and as often as possible.

And slowly, slowly… you shall be.

P.s. I’ll be hosting a LIVE chat on Twitter about the Ego and exploring if it’s our enemy or if it can be used to help us in life. Details here.

Better Pain

Published on October 4, 2022

Life doesn’t suddenly decide one day to stop being challenging.

Not when you’re rich. Not when you’re retired. Not when you’re on a beach.

Challenge will always be present. And with challenge comes pain.

Run from the pain? And you’ll only multiply it for later (because you’ll have to deal with the pain that comes with later PLUS the pain that you ignored).

Confront the pain—and you’ll free your future self of some of that compounding pain.

The goal is to face today’s pains today so that you can confronting new, inevitable, better pains tomorrow.

…Better pains?

Yeah, the kind of pains you’d prefer to face—that you *get* to face—because of the work you did yesterday. You know, like exercise pain versus cardiac arrest pain. Or like a hard conversation pain versus lost relationship pain.

Delay confronting pain long enough and it will eventually become unbearably painful and/or absolutely unavoidable.

Your choice.

Sharing Your Creations

Published on September 26, 2022

Sharing something you created with the wrong people will lead to disappointment.

Sharing something you created with the right people will lead to joy.

Neither outcome matters as much, however, as the fact that you shared something you created.

For creating is the ultimate joy and anything that stops you from creating is the ultimate disappointment.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.