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Category: Healing Not Healed

Painfully Slow

Published on September 20, 2022

Healing isn’t just about confronting what others have done to you…

It’s about confronting yourself—and the role YOU play in your own suffering.

Sometimes the one is what leads to the other.

But also, it’s the other that leads to the one.

As an example, when I was 10 people made fun of my weight.

For years after, I became my own worst critic.

My self-talk was hateful, demeaning, and hurtful.

But, then I started Martial Arts; and MoveMe Quotes; and daily writing—and a slew of other things that allowed me to confront that inner critic.

…And quiet him the hell up.

…Or maybe better said: gave him new, constructive, optimistic things to focus on and talk about.

Day-by-day, it didn’t feel like much was changing. Not when I would kick and punch for an hour; not when I collected quotes for an hour; and not when I started writing for an hour.

But, today? After 20+ years of kicking punching? 12+ years of collecting quotes? 2+ years of writing daily?

…Let’s just say that if Old Me and New Me sat down for a cup of joe… neither would recognize the other.

This is how healing works. Painfully slow and like nothing is changing day-by-day… until one day, you look back and it’s all different.

P.s. I sip on coffee while I write these. If you enjoy these posts, you can support my future work by supplying me with one of my next cups of joe.

Inner vs Outer Healing

Published on August 6, 2022

Surface level cuts might only require time to heal.

Deeper cuts will require more than that.

  • Ointment/ Prescription medications
  • Band aids/ Gauze/ Stitches
  • Surgery

As it is with inner healing.

Some surface level pains may only need time.

But, the deeper pains will require more active solutions.

  • Meditation / Time Away / Soul Searching
  • Prescriptive Reading / Introspective Writing
  • Group/Individual Therapy

Give your deep cuts only time to heal and they will likely become infected (and worsen).

By matching the proper prognosis to the severity of the (inner) pain, you’ll maximize your ability (and minimize the time it takes) to heal.

This starts by being completely honest with yourself or, better yet, getting an objective perspective about the severity of your inner pains; understanding the prognosis for each; and finding a way to take the proper actions in spite of the resistance you’re bound to face.

As hard as inner healing might be… it always beats infected inner wounds that you’re forced to face because of their un-ignorable severity. This is never a better route.

The Gift Of Healing

Published on July 16, 2022

Healing is as much a gift for us as it is for you.

Don’t ever sacrifice time to heal because you think it’ll upset people…

  • “Alone time? Why do you need alone time?”
  • “Why didn’t you want to hang out? You don’t like me?”
  • “Journaling/Meditating/Therapy?! You don’t need that…”

It’s you feeling like you don’t have time to heal that’s causing all of the upset.

Daily Healing

Published on July 13, 2022

Make healing a part of your daily routine.

Why? Because pain will continue to be a part of your daily experience.

Waiting until you completely breakdown isn’t a good strategy—yet it’s what most people do.

If it ain’t broke don’t fix it, eh?

Well, here’s the reality: we’re all broke. If this weren’t the case then we’d each be perfectly unbroken.

Which, of course, isn’t true.

We all have pain. And we’ll all continue to have pains—it’s one of our shared realities in life.

When our pain is left un-confronted it metastasizes—until eventually it takes over our entire experience.

It’s only when our pain is confronted (via healing practices) that it may finally fade—and eventually leave our daily experience.

P.s. I also published an article in “In Fitness And In Health:” 11 Lessons For Life From 21 Years of Martial Arts Training (8min read). I’d love it if you checked it out. :)

Escaping Hell [Poem]

Published on March 25, 2022 
How do you tell someone
How to break free
from the grips of hell
When they’re the one
With burns
Cuts
Scrapes
Bruises
And gashes;

And all you’ve got are words
From unblemished pages 
And pure intentions

Noticing The Burn Before The Out

Published on February 25, 2022

Burnout generally happens slowly, slowly, and then all at once.

It’s sneaky.

It isn’t obvious that it’s happening. But, once it happens, it’s already too late.

The question to consider is, how can we notice the burn before we become all the way burned out?

My thought? By noticing whether or not we’re taking time away from what’s required for a full recharge. Here it is in three steps:

  • Step 1: Determine what’s required for a full recharge. For some it’s 6 hours of sleep. For me, it’s 8. For others, it’s 10. I also add a 20 minute power nap into each day and spend 20 minutes meditating to check in on my mental state. This is what’s required for a full recharge for me.
  • Step 2: Notice when you’re taking away from full recharge time. Staying up late to work? Feel like binging on Netflix until an ungodly hour? Remember that if you can’t fully recharge, you’ll have to go about your next day, well, not fully charged. Too many of these in a row will undoubtedly lead to burnout.
  • Step 3: Give back with every take. When I take an hour of sleep from one night, I’ll try and add it to the next. Or I’ll take a 45 or 90 minute nap instead of a 20 minute one. At the very least, I’ll attempt to get a streak of full 8 hour recharges back to compensate.

Because here’s the thing about recharging: if you don’t mange this yourself, eventually your body will force you to do it—in full—without your consent.

And burnout never has good timing.

Burnout Is Sneaky

Published on February 24, 2022

“Burnout is sneaky because you don’t realize you’re borrowing from tomorrow to push through today.”

Emily Leahy, Twitter

And when you borrow too much from tomorrow (or from too many tomorrows), you’ll eventually have nothing left to give in the current day.

And when that happens—when you’ve reached your “credit limit”—your body cuts you off from future energy supplies and shuts down.

Hence why burnout often feels like life in a vegetative state.

And hence why burnout often looks like an absurd number of hours spent sushi rolled up in your fuzziest of blankets while Netflix plays reruns of shows you’ve already seen as you fill yourself up with the emptiest of calories you have stored in the darkest of corners in your kitchen as emotional music plays softly in the background of your dimly lit rooms.

It’s not because you’re lazy, a failure, or because you suck at life—it’s because the energy from each of those “absurd hours” has already been spent.

And until you get current again with your “energy payments” it’s likely that “sushi-ed up” is how you’ll remain.

Until eventually, you become current, have a renewed source of life energy and get another chance to start spending again.

Except this time, hopefully you’ll only spend what’s within the limits of your current day—one day at a time.