Category: Embracing Emotion

…It is only ever caused from within.

• People saying ugly things about you? …Speaks only to the quality of mind from which they came—ugly words come from ugly minds. Nobody can insult you without your consent.

• The news featuring hateful, horrific events? …Illustrates only the need for its antidote: love. We don’t fight fire with fire. We don’t gouge an eye for an eye. We strategize, organize, and fuel our efforts with life’s strongest emotional resource: love.

• Living a toxic/imbalanced/unhealthy lifestyle? …It’s supposed to result in misery, because it’s supposed to force you to change. Understanding this emotion changes the emotion. It’s no longer something awful to be suppressed—it’s something caring that’s to be honored.

To realize this is to realize an unbelievable power.

One where insults, hate, and toxicity no longer cause misery.

…But have no effect on your inner weather at all.

What affects your inner weather is what you allow… what you consent to… what you honor, organize, and prioritize.

Proceed accordingly.

It’s good to feel bad, without it, there would be no cause for you to push back for good.

I felt unhealthy this week, for example, and it made me feel bad. But it made me push back and I had an extra healthy grocery shopping trip for this upcoming week.

I’ve been missing my evening reading time because I’ve been going to bed so late and I’ve felt bad about it. But I can feel the push to get back on track with it as the book I’m reading stares me down each night I climb into bed without giving it any attention.

I felt bad about judging a homeless person in a restaurant. But, after listening to how a mother spoke to him and listened to him and helped him, it gave me cause to push back on that reflex and do better.

The point is, don’t excuse/ suppress/ or ignore feeling bad about things—befriend that feeling. Use it to magnify the energy and effort you’ll devote towards pushing back for the good.

In basketball, I usually match up against the same few players each week.

And it gets frustrating because as I get better… so do they.

It wasn’t until I played today against someone who rarely plays that I realized how much better I’ve gotten.

This isn’t to pat myself on the back.

It’s a reminder that while frustration can be an overwhelming emotion that often leads to quitting… it’s also an incredibly important signal that’s telling you you’re in that uncomfortable zone that often leads to growth.

Those who can tolerate frustration the longest are almost always the ones who advance the furthest.

P.s. ICYMI you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

One common rebuttal to joy, optimism, and positivity is, “but there’s so much suffering, injustice, and hate—how could you?”

But, this same logic can be used to argue the inverse: “But there’s so much light, beauty, and love—how could you feel sad, anxious, and hateful?”

What’s important is simply not to live in only one world or the other; to not bury your head in the sand towards any of the sides.

What’s important is to help alleviate the suffering, act against injustice, and deploy the opposite of hate… while also soaking in the plentiful light, admiring all the world’s beauty, and allowing yourself to feel and express love.

What’s important is to remain present, open-hearted, and brave. To not become so overly immersed in only one aspect of the world that you can no longer see the opposite. Because the one aspect helps deepen the appreciation and understanding of the other just as the other helps build the same for the one.

Lean into it all. Don’t bury your head in the sand. Life is found throughout.

Landscaping today, I got to thinking about how certain tasks are easier after it has been dry for a few days (e.g. mowing the lawn) and how others are easier after it has been wet (e.g. digging).

It would be counterproductive to try and mow on wet days and dig on dry ones.

It would be much better to align the tasks you’re trying to do with the weather you’re in.

…As it is with inner work.

When things are happy… when you’re immersed in an adventure… when you’re enjoying quality time with friends or family… maybe that isn’t the best time to dig. Maybe that’s the time to let the branches of your happiness stretch as high as your presence will allow.

When things are sad… when you’re heavy in your feels… when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one… maybe that isn’t the best time to try and stretch your happiness (by suppressing those heavier emotions)… maybe that’s the time to let the roots of your sadness dig as deep into your feels as your presence will allow.

Digging when you’re happy and stretching your branches when you’re sad are possible… just like mowing the lawn when it’s wet and digging when it’s dry is possible… but, aligning with the weather and season you’re in might make for a much more productive use of time.

Inner work prompt: What season are you in? How can you align your present efforts to maximize that current experience?