Category: Self-Limiting Beliefs

Most people think inner work needs to be coupled with a very specific kind of setting.

The thing is: a quiet corner is a quiet corner is a quiet corner.

And the corner doesn’t need a lake view.

It doesn’t need to be in the middle of the woods.

It doesn’t need modern furniture, perfect lighting, or inspiring decor.

The thing about inner work that most people seemingly forget is that once you start, the outer world fades away.

All that’s happening with a lake view or a cabin in the woods or whatever is that you’re using it as a means to give yourself permission to begin.

You’re telling yourself a story that inner work can’t begin until x, y, and z criteria are met.

Once you understand this, you can begin telling yourself a new story.

One where the view isn’t the non-negotiable factor… but the intention is.

And the beautiful thing about making your intention the main criteria is that suddenly… the world explodes with dropped map pins on where you can begin.

Which is a much more convenient array to choose from than the one hyper specific, distant into the future, perfect little slice of land, situated by some body of water, built into some cozy little home, where the feng shui is harmonizing and muses linger close by… singular pin.

Carry with you the mindset that a quiet corner is a quiet corner is a quiet corner... and drop your pin to begin wherever you are today… and watch as the outer world fades anyway.

Today, I was booked to teach a martial arts seminar.

The seminar was specifically for advanced students from across and within the association I’m a part of.

And one of the beliefs I had leading up to the seminar was, “I don’t hold anything back as a teacher… I always give my students my best… there isn’t any information I’ve been holding out on them…”

And in retrospect, I realize this was a limiting belief that held me back from promoting the event as good as I could’ve.

Because leading up to the event… I didn’t just sit in contentment with teaching what I already had… I researched, developed, and trained skills, drills, and ideas that I hadn’t taught before.

It was the seminar that put me on the hook to present new information. And that vacuum created an energy that sucked me down several rabbit holes of martial arts training videos that allowed me to do exactly that.

The point being, put yourself on the hook more often. Use it as a fuel to propel you to rise to the occasion and deliver in a way that’s beyond what you’re used to.

…And as you’re coming up to that presentation day, trust in your future self’s delivery. The more you put yourself on the hook… and hype up your future self… the more you’ll push your present self to rise.

I remember one of my ex-staff members reaching out to me saying they might be interested in coming back to take on a full-time role after college at the martial arts school I ran.

And I remember thinking to myself how tough it would be to hire another full-time employee with the current state of the school at that time.

When speaking to my associate and boss about it, they answered completely differently and with an unhesitating, “Yes.”

…Because they weren’t thinking about how they would make it work with the current state of the school—they were thinking about the future state of the school once this person added that much value to the business—if not more.

And this is a mindset I’ve tried to hold close ever since—especially when it comes to teaming up with people who can potentially add tons of value.

Don’t think in terms of current state… think in terms of future state.

…All I had to do was make sure the culture, training, and systems were in place so as to pave a clear way.

In what ways might you benefit from thinking future state vs current state?

Is what’s stopping you from growing contingent on somebody else or yourself?

Are you waiting for somebody else to show you the way forward? Are you waiting for somebody else’s permission to do what you know needs to be done? Are you basing what you do and how you act every day on other people’s moods, how they pay you, and/or how they set up the environment’s you’re in?

Here’s the thing: the only person stopping you from growing is and only ever will be you.

The only way forward shown to you by others is the way they think works best—based on their unique life experiences—not yours.

When reflecting on permission, ask yourself if there’s another avenue forward that isn’t being guarded. Or consider the idea of doing what you know is necessary to grow and asking for forgiveness later—once you’ve leveled up… rather than waiting passively for permission all your life… and staying boxed up.

Basing what you do on other people’s moods, how they pay you, environments they’ve set up is throttling your potential. People’s moods will always be outside of your control. How people pay you is (should be) dependent on how much value you bring—not merely doing what’s expected of you within the confines of a job description. The environment is everything. If you can’t grow, heal, or influence it—leave it. Keeping yourself planted in a toxic environment is killing your growth.

There are endless choices that can be made. And when you’re considering each of them, forget blame. Point the finger at yourself and consider using growth as your north star.

…It’ll never lead you astray.

I uploaded a picture quote today that read, “Strange, isn’t it? You know yourself better than anyone else, yet you crumble at the words of someone who hasn’t even lived a second of your life. Focus on your own voice; it’s the only one that matters.”

…Not even one second of your life.

And yet, we crumble from a singular, insinuating remark.

It really is strange, isn’t it?

Why does this happen? Or maybe better yet, why do we allow this to happen?

One answer is that while, yes, we should know ourselves better than anyone else… in a lot of ways, we’re still figuring ourselves out. And those insinuating comments meander their way into our complex thought processes and become virus’ of the mind that infect the software of our brain.

…Unless or until we protect it.

How do we do that you ask?

By doing the necessary inner work that’ll upload firewalls and security checks to visiting comments and thoughts. This might involve 10-30 minute mindfulness scans and debugging sessions. Or downloading what’s been uploaded to your mind at the end of the day, writing about it, and cleaning up any infected files or malware attempts. Or proactively blocking sources of malware and spam—be it people, media profiles/sites, or places.

By focusing more on your voice—your cleaned up, uninfected, firewall protected voice—you can insulate yourself from these type of common, everyday, modern attacks and become the type of presence that doesn’t crumble, but stands smirking at the lame attempts of insinuating words because you see them (finally) for what they really are.

…Attempts to infect and control you that are baseless and really don’t matter.