Category: Problem Solving

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

But, at the same time, if it can break, don’t forget to maintain it.

Too many of us live reactively in the world. Running from one broken situation to the next, exhausted and frustrated. Possibly because ain’t nothing wrong with any of it until of course… something is…

But, if we spent a little more time living proactively… and walking mindfully in our houses, businesses, and amongst our belongings and relationships… looking for things that are vulnerable, weak, or susceptible to getting damaged or broken… we might be able to prevent so many more “brokens” in our life.

Because here’s the thing: just because it ain’t broke, doesn’t mean we should ignore it.

When in fact, a little maintenance is precisely how we keep things from ever getting broken in the first place.

Today, one of my best friends went through one of the hardest days of his life.

In the thick of it, he got devastating news about his dog and was confronted with a choice…

He could either do a 17k surgery or put his dog down… the same choice I had to face with my Stella.

It was an emotional call to say the least, but as we talked about it on the phone the two things I offered him was (1) call and speak to the people we know who have been through it and listen to their advice and (2) take a walk.

The first piece felt obvious since we had a few friends in common who have lived this experience and there’s nobody better qualified to answer an impossible question than the people who have had to make it before.

The second piece of advice felt less obvious but worth mentioning because it’s what really helped me when I was going through it. Sometimes when we sit stagnantly in our sorrow, it turns into a toxic stew that clouds our judgement and poisons our physiology.

Moving our body is a highly underrated way to flush the highly potent emotions that come with sorrow and grief so as to keep our thinking moving and problem solving ideas fresh.

It’s a strategy that helps with the impossible decisions and everyday problems alike. And if you can get into the habit of walking more regularly… you just might find yourself working your way through your problems more regularly as well.

A few months ago, I had the privilege of seeing David Blaine live.

To my surprise, about 90% of what he did during his magic show, I had seen him do online.

To his credit, I’m a bit of fanboy and have done deep dives into his content so it wasn’t like he was being lazy with his show or promotion. He’s a hulluva performer and will blow your mind any and every time you see him perform—regardless of whether it’s live or online.

What I found this to be a good reminder of, though, is the power of the internet.

The answer(s) you’re looking for in your life… are out there. Readily available. Just waiting to be uncovered with the right search, frame of mind, and dose of action. All free.

Some people neatly collect the answers and package them behind a price tag. But generally speaking, the majority of people who produce content are extremely generous and share what they learn and know for free.

What’s stopping most of us isn’t access to the answers…

What’s stopping most of us is distraction—we set out to follow one curiosity and get sucked down a rabbit hole digression. Or, said differently, boredom aversion. It’s only after we’ve sat with the problem(s) long enough, without distraction, that we’re able to bring clarity to our path forward, to clearly illustrate our circumstances, and to formulate action plans.

But, because most of us are so bored averse… we allow ourselves to get sucked down rabbit holes instead. And the magic problem solving power of the internet gets lost just as fast as a card from David Blaine’s hands.

The other day I heard mention that on average people have between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day—of which, 90% to 95% are repetitive.

I did a little research and didn’t see much by way of concrete evidence (how does one even obtain anything concrete on such a subjective and fluid topic?), but something inside me definitely resonated.

My own experience tells me that thoughts are repeated until the open loop is closed (i.e. “I can’t forget to do this later…” or “What am I going to do about this problem…” or “I wonder what people think of me?” etc).

And my own experience tells me that learning how to close open loops is absolutely key to better mental health (because how is living in the same thoughts every day not maddening?)…

The good news is that closing open loops is actually quite simple:

1. Write things down. If your brain knows the thought is saved somewhere, it’ll let it go. If it thinks it has to remember it, it’ll repeat the thought indefinitely.

2. Work problems out. Busy is the modern day disease that contributes to more mental health issues than most people want to admit. Why? Because busy prevents you from doing the inner work and creating the space that’s necessary to close open loops.

3. Practice doing nothing. What’s crazy is that most of us have zero awareness of our thoughts. We’re simply lost in the mix. Doing nothing allows you to practice watching your thoughts… so you can notice what’s happening upstairs… so you can identify what loops even need closing.

The other news is that is it simple… yes. Easy? Maybe not. Worth it? Undoubtedly.

It is becoming increasingly evident to me, with each day I consciously focus on it, that problems are almost always made better with the following ingredients:

1. Calm. Unless there’s an emergency, I do my absolute best not to run, speed, rush, yell, or spiral. All of these are inside my control and when problems hit that are outside my control, controlling these things and maintaining a calm demeanor helps tremendously. Not only does it keep the mind clear and free of unnecessary chaos so that I can focus on coming up with a solution, but it stops the problem from becoming worse. Which is always the first thing you should do when you find yourself in a hole… stop digging.

2. Collected. Acting too quickly on problems without a full survey of the land often leads to wrong turns and major detours. Once you’ve calmed yourself down and are thinking more clearly, it’s essential to clearly identify the problem, trace it to the root of its cause, and brainstorm a complete list of possible solutions. Oftentimes knee jerk reactions turn into big pains in the butt.

3. Collaborated. You’re never as smart alone as you are when you’re thinking with other trusted brains. It’s best to enter this stage after you’ve successfully managed to complete the previous two. Otherwise, “collaborated” often turns into vent session, cursing, and exacerbating the problem (causing you to dig a deeper hole). But, when you’re calm and collected and have a proper inventory of the problem and possible solutions… collaboration becomes a powerful equation that turns 1+1 into 3.

Man. It can be tempting to just throw your hands into the air, curse your circumstances, and blame everyone and the world for not teaching you this or preparing you for that.

Anxiety. Addiction. Discipline. Depression. Relationships. Kids. Property. Taxes. Insurance. Medications. Death. Disease. Loneliness… Each curveball feels like it comes with avengeance, always from new angles, and only with increased intensity.

And you know what?

Nobody is coming to change that.

Nobody is coming to save you.

Nobody is coming to knock on your door and offer you the Living With Ease 101 Guidebook.

And while this might sound grim or deflating… you know what?

At least it will get you out of the mindset of waiting.

Because too many of us are waiting for somebody to come along and do exactly those things… change our frustrating circumstances for the better… save us from curveballs of life… knock on our door and give us the answers to all of our current problems.

The sooner we can acknowledge that we’re waiting to be saved… the sooner we can snap out of it and begin saving ourselves.

Because while, sure, you hopefully have people in your life who are helping you out… ultimately, they have their own curveballs to figure out. And waiting for them to figure out theirs and then figure out yours, too, isn’t a good long-term strategy.

The long-term strategy that works is taking ownership, taking action, learning from errors, and repeating forever onward.

It’ll take just as much time as waiting.

…And return a helluva lot more on your time invested.