Skip to content

Category: Failing Forward

Balancing Passive Learning With Active Experimentation

Published on February 17, 2025

I’m learning how to DJ.

It started with an admiration… turned into a curiosity… lead me down many rabbit holes… resulted in several purchases… and has evolved into a new creative outlet.

Being a complete beginner in something again reminds me of the importance of balancing theory with experimentation.

Before I made any purchases and when I was going deep down YouTube rabbit holes, I felt like I was understanding pretty well what I was watching.

…Like I could do pretty easily what I was watching people—who made it look easy—do.

…And then I got a DJ controller and realized I didn’t have a clue.

It’s one thing to watch and learn passively from the comfort of your couch while you stare at a screen.

…It’s a whole ‘nother thing to experiment and learn actively from the uncomfortable position of trying and failing and having to dust yourself off and try again.

Here’s the thing though: we learn best with a solid balance of both.

All passive learning and no active experimentation leads to “book smarts” and no “street smarts.”

All active experimentation and no passive learning leads to “street smarts” and no “book smarts.”

The people who uncover the most of their potential in any learning domain in life are the ones who do both—and prioritize time, energy, and effort to both well.

P.s. ICYMI you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

On Failing Yourself

Published on January 24, 2025

The only thing worse than failing is not having tried in the first place.

Because not having tried leaves you in life’s most dreaded place: with regret.

…And until you actually believe that, I hope you realize you’re failing yourself.

Awesome Alternate Paths

Published on January 9, 2025

I made space today to take an in-person martial arts class.

I got ready, prepped my gear, and drove to the school…

…Only to find out that it was closed.

So, what did I do?

I turned the car ride into a concert of sorts.

And when I got home, I logged into my YouTube “Academy” and studied content related to what I was going to train in that martial arts class for the rest of my allocated time block.

I turned what could’ve easily been a super annoying inconvenience into an awesome alternate path.

When you live with this kind of mental flexibility… how could you ever lose?

Embracers of Challenge and Masters of Perspective

Published on November 19, 2024

When I write about “embracers of challenge and masters of perspective,” here’s what I mean:

  • One of my teenage students was telling me about how she fell down in the middle of her martial arts weapon performance. It was a form she decided to make more difficult the week of the tournament and yet, even though she fell and felt “so embarrassed,” she also said she was so glad she did it and can’t wait to own it at the next one.
  • A group of my adult students were telling me about how they all—maybe five or six of them—forgot the memorization of their traditional weapon form. All of them. Blanked. And yet, this is the email I got from one of them: “Our group of competitors learned a lot of humility when attempting and failing our weapon forms. We all knew we didn’t do it correctly and immediately cheered on our competitors to not quit. We all finished and were able to laugh at ourselves and cheer each other on for our next tournament. This group of competitors is just so amazing.  We all strive for nothing but our best but do not break each other down. Love this family!!!!”
  • Another one of my adult students (48 years old), decided to compete in her first ever tournament. She’s a mother of two, a wife, has been training for 2+ years and simply hadn’t pulled the trigger to do one. And when I asked what her ideal outcome would be she said, “just getting through it—place isn’t important, getting this first one under my belt is the real victory.” …And I couldn’t agree more.

Competition Success vs Life Success

Published on November 18, 2024

Competitions aren’t designed to build confidence, they’re designed to challenge competitors.

When I think about confidence, I think about success remembered. Remembering a time (or many times) when I successfully did the thing I’m about to do—that I’m scared to do—is about as reassuring as it gets… because it’s tangible, evidence-based proof.

And when I think about traditional settings of competition, where there’s one first place winner and a group of three or more competitors, more competitors will end up losing than winning. And “losing” isn’t the foundation that confidence is built upon.

But—and this is a BIG but—losses learned from IS the foundation that life success is built upon.

As I mentioned in the beginning, competitions are designed to challenge the competitor. And what is life but a disproportionate amount of challenge compared to ease? And what makes challenges so challenging…? The fact that we keep losing when we’re trying to win!

See, when we learn how to manage the “losses” appropriately… when we learn to contextualize what’s really happening when we compete (is it really about the first place trophy?)… when we learn to roll with the punches, extract the lessons, and return to our practice with fresh insights—better insights than we had before…

How could we ever really lose?

Demanding competition success isn’t helping with life success—especially if it’s removing the challenge from the experience. Teaching competitors how to become embracers of challenge and masters of perspective… now that is a foundation that will set them up for life.

The Opposite of Human

Published on November 17, 2024

I’ve competed in hundreds of martial arts tournaments throughout my life.

And while the goal was always to perform my routine perfectly… or fight my fights flawlessly… or do my demos without even the faintest of mistakes… I can’t think of a single time when I actually did any of that.

What I do remember are highlight moments when I nailed a really hard move or scored a picture perfect point… but most of all… I remember the feelings…

I remember the intensity of the nerves… the shakiness of my legs… the feeling of being in a foreign body that felt nothing like it did in practice…

And I remember the intensity of the highs when I triumphed… the sense of accomplishment when I’d finish a long day of competition… the feelings of pride and dignity when I was recognized by others as having done well.

And I think to myself about how many potent life experiences I would’ve missed out on if I waited to compete until I felt perfectly ready… or if after my first few experiences of not having flawless performances—I gave up…

The reality is this: perfect is the opposite of human.

And if you feel like you’re living a lackluster existence… like you’re missing depth in your life… like the days feel more gray than colorful…

Then maybe you should question what kind of role perfection plays in your life. Because as tough as it might sound… embracing imperfect action is the path that’ll lead you the other way.

P.s. ICYMI, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

What’s Now

Published on October 20, 2024

While playing football this morning, one of the quarterbacks commented on how upset he was that he threw a couple of interceptions.

While playing basketball shortly thereafter, guys would visibly and viscerally get upset when they missed a series of shots in a row.

And while talking to a friend, it became evident to me that I was still upset about a situation that happened days ago.

In each of these situations, the past was being carried into the present—and it was affecting all of our abilities to perform our best.

Learning how to leave these past moments in the past and enter each present moment as its own refreshed opportunity—is nothing short of a superpower.

And the best way to do this is to learn how to stay calm when mistakes are made, clearly take from them the lessons you’re able to extract, and breathe yourself confidently back into the present.

What’s done is done. What’s now can either be a darker night or a rising sun.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.