Category: Defining Success

In reply to my post on one lesson from 35 years, my uncle replied with the following:

“It’s funny, most of the educated, ‘smart people’ I know told me not to retire early… ‘you’ll be sorry.’ Funny that they text me to see if it’s actually working… why??? Because they don’t get job satisfaction anymore and want to jump. It’s not about getting rich, it’s not about all the zeros in that account… it’s about having enough, having health, and being able to savor the flavor of life. I, we, take things slow, and my old way of looking at life is/has changed. Money can’t buy health or time.”

Pair this with a nugget of wisdom from my great grandmother (that my mom shared at my birthday party this past weekend): “If your problems can be solved with money… you don’t really have problems” and two thoughts come to mind.

(1) Damn, I feel so lucky to be surrounded by such incredible role models in my life. It makes such an impact (probably one of the biggest impacts) on a person’s life… and if you’re not surrounded by good role models… do everything in your power to change that.

(2) Get rich, quick! is the current of modern day society—swim against it. Which isn’t to say you should disregard money. There’s no doubting the fact that money is a powerful tool. But, that’s just it… it’s a tool. Don’t become so obsessed with hoarding the tool that you forget to use the damn thing to do amazing things!

The handyman who merely collects and stores tools is no handyman at all.

Ask yourself… Is the person who merely collects and hoards money really living at all?

Ever since this interaction I had with a random mechanic (and several other similar interactions I’ve had in the past), I’ve been quite skeptical of going to anyone new.

To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with my current mechanic and I feel very lucky to have found him, there are simply some things he can’t do… like body work and dent/scratch repairs.

This past weekend, lo and behold, my car got backed into and got a dent and scratches that need repair.

And so, rather than go to the closest mechanic to my home/work or even look at reviews online… I asked the mechanic I trust who he would trust to get this type of work done…

And he gave me a shop name and a number and told me to tell them he sent me.

Done.

There’s a speed that comes with trust that can be invaluable for getting things done in life.

And if you’re like mechanic #1 in the interaction I linked to above… you’re gonna find yourself climbing some uphill battles throughout your time.

But, when you prioritize trust over bottom line, suddenly the climb levels out and sometimes even turns downhill. Because while bottom line focus might get you some short turn dollars, it usually ends there or shortly thereafter. Whereas if you focus on trust… you’ll create a bond that’ll last much, much longer—maybe even for life.

And as a mentor of mine says, the best way to build a good business is to build a good business.

And being a good person who cares about doing good for other people is an excellent strategy to do exactly that.

The world is saturated with people who want to be successful.

But what the world needs isn’t more people who are successful via traditional metrics (e.g. money, fame, power).

What the world needs is more people who are successful via novel and highly personal metrics.

The world doesn’t need more people maximizing their bottom lines at the expense of the environment. What we need are more people who can minimize their carbon footprint, reduce their use of plastics, and align their purchasing behavior with a life mission that’s also aligned with our most important home.

The world doesn’t need more people obsessing over likes and numbers of views on social media. What we need are more people who are obsessed with liking themselves and minimizing the number of people they compare themselves to—both on and offline.

The world doesn’t need more generally educated, non-specific college grads. What we need are more people who have come alive and are ignited with a curiosity that makes them want to learn, grow, and improve each day in spite of mistakes, failures, and hardships along the way.

It’s not that there’s anything wrong with traditional metrics of success per se.

…It’s just that there’s something way more right with personally defined, soul-aligned metrics instead.

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Inner Work Prompt: What’s your personally defined, soul-aligned definition of success?

I think about the debt I’ve avoided…

I think about the tens of thousands of dollars I’ve saved…

I think about the people I’ve repelled and the ones I’ve attracted…

I think about the time I’ve saved, the space I’ve created, and the contentment I’ve cultivated…

And I think about how one of the best decisions I ever made was that I didn’t need luxury in order to live my best life.

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P.s. I also published: A Motivational Excerpt From Tom Brady’s Hall Of Fame Speech—”You Don’t Have To Be Special…”

If I offered you $1,000,000—would you take it?

…I’m going to assume yes.

If I told you the only stipulation is that you don’t get to wake up tomorrow—would you still take it?

…I’m going to assume no.

Which means—now stay with me here on this one—waking up tomorrow is worth more to you than $1,000,000.

So, do me (and yourself) a favor if you haven’t already and recognize that in this moment.

…Feel the true luxury of being able to live in this moment—a luxury worth more than $1,000,000. Try to fully experience all of the things that $1,000,000 can’t buy. Take the almighty dollar sign off that pedestal and shift your focus towards the things that really enrich your life experience.

…And do me (us) a favor and read this again tomorrow.

Cheers to another day (really) richer.

Modern society prescribes a pretty generic path to “success” that amounts to something along the lines of: Good grades in school –> Good grades in college –> Good performance reviews in career –> Good compatibility in marriage –> Good financial situation from earnings –> Good kids who get to go to a good school and start the cycle over again for themselves –> Good retirement knowing you did well for them as parents –> Good grandkids –> So forth.

What’s fun to think about sometimes is how the generic path to success has nothing to do with your path to success—because it’s something that can only ever be defined by you.

…And how your path could change at any point along the way that amounts to something more along the lines of what success feels like to you, by you. Maybe including deviations like –> Crappy grades in school so picked up a trade / specialty skill instead. Or –> Took a gap year after school and traveled on the other side of the planet, just because. Or –> Had a really cool business idea and was aligned with really cool people so went for it. Or –> Was sick of my daily grind so started a side hustle that turned full-time hustle online. Or –> Got offered a once in a lifetime opportunity and I said “Yes.”

What’s even more fun than thinking about the above… is doing the above. The generic path can be fulfilling—no doubt. But, there’s also no doubt that the path filled with deviations concludes with a little more certainty—a knowing of what came from the thoughts instead of being left at the end of the generic with a haunted feeling of… “What if…”