In a recent newsletter, Mark Manson offered a wonderful analogy for happiness. He said it was like, “Pleasant background music to everything else you do in life.” …He explained how it isn’t the highs; it isn’t the highlights; it isn’t the getting high—it’s the general feeling that arises in the background of it all.
And the more we mistake happiness for the highs in our lives, the more unhappy we’ll be. Because, by definition, the highs can only be few and far between.
The real test of happiness is when there is precisely nothing exciting happening. When there are no extraordinary moments unfolding, no phones out dealing dopamine, and no drugs or alcohol around. When it’s just you inside one of those vast majority moments that exist in-between the highs.
…What does the music sound like? Is it pleasant or is it annoying? Is it something you can even hear?
Here’s my recommendation: as you would create a playlist of songs on your phone to elicit/ facilitate certain moods, so too should you create a playlist of activities in your life that do the same.
Things that aren’t extraordinary in nature, aren’t added to highlight reels, and don’t involve state-altering substances—normal moment things that can help you come into tune with the background music of your life.
Things like screen-free walks, hikes, meditation, art, dance, exercise, journaling, conversation, etc.
Things that are… pleasant.
P.s. Today, I’m thankful for a quiet neighborhood. A place where I can easily tune and re-tune the background song(s) of my life.