Skip to content

Tag: Martial Arts Inspired

Why Not Now?

Published on August 10, 2023

I have a 41 year old martial arts student who signed up to do her first ever martial arts tournament this Saturday who also, get this, has never done a performance of any kind… ever… in her life.

Not for theater, not for music, not for school… has never performed in front of people.

And this weekend, she’s rewriting that part of her story.

…This is your reminder that it’s never too late to rewrite a part of your story, too.

P.s. I also published: Replacing Human With Digital Interactions—A Short Story About Connection

Life Knows

Published on August 6, 2023

Today, I tested one of my 8 year-old martial arts students for his green belt.

At the end of each belt test, it’s customary to challenge the students’ spirit by having them do a series of hard exercises.

Today, before the start of the spirit test, I asked him, “What would you rather do: push-ups or sit-ups?”

He said, “Push-ups.”

So, I had him to do max sit-ups instead.

…If we always had things go the way we wanted them to, how would we ever build spirit?

Indomitable spirit is built precisely by doing things that are the kind of hard that we wouldn’t have picked if we had the choice. Because if we had the choice, we’d always pick the hard that was the easiest. And while the “easier” hard is better than no hard, it’s the “hard” hard that trains spirit to be indomitable.

…And I think this is something that life knows, too.

P.s. I finished uploading quotes from The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk. You can read my favorite 55 quotes here.

Body Posture and Voice Tonality

Published on June 16, 2023

I frequently visit schools and speak to students about how martial arts can help in life.

And while one of my goals is to spark an interest in them that might lead to continued, long-term training, part of me knows that the one visit might be the only time I’ll ever get to speak with them. And so I challenge myself to give them something that’ll stick even after one, 30-minute session.

While this often changes depending on the group of students I’m working with and what I see—what I often find myself choosing for the focused takeaway is body posture and voice tonality.

I’ll tell them when they stand, walk, or sit—to do so with their back straight, chin up, and eyes straight ahead. When they speak, to look in the eyes and use a loud, clear voice.

Contrary to what most students think, what formulates our judgements of our peers has very little to do with specific word choice—it’s not about the jokes, knowledge, or witty remarks.

The sweeping majority has to do with body language and tone of voice. And one of the best ways I know to get people to demonstrably hold themselves in high(er) regard—which demonstrates belief in their own worth, potential, and right to be treated with dignity and respect—is by making these select few adjustments.

If you’re reading this and you tend to walk with your back hunched, eyes down, and speak with a soft and quiet voice… maybe you can practice making this select adjustment as well.

Make it a habit and you might be surprised at how different you feel in just a few days time.

My Goal as a Martial Arts Instructor

Published on May 17, 2023

As a martial arts instructor, my top goal is to help students improve their martial arts.

…Duh, you might be thinking.

But, what most students want to do when they’re eager, self-conscious, and ego-driven (which is how most students start) is the opposite of what’s going to make them great at martial arts.

When you’re eager to learn, you want to go faster—but, your body isn’t properly coordinated yet to go faster. New students must do the opposite and go slow. Because as the saying goes: slow is smooth and smooth is fast.

When you’re self-conscious, you’re not training for you—you’re training with others in mind. You’re either trying to better fit in or better stand out. Because of this, your martial arts is secondary to social cues. It isn’t until you’ve properly integrated with the group and can focus more exclusively on yourself that you’ll begin to truly improve.

When you’re ego-driven, you do everything you can to look and do things that’ll get praised, admired, shouted-out. Which often translates to kicking higher, but with worse technique. Or striking faster, with more poorly coordinated strikes. Or training longer, when fatigue is increasingly affecting the correctness of the moves.

Which is why, as a martial arts instructor my strategy to accomplish the goal is usually threefold: (1) To get students to go slower, (2) To make students feel welcomed and comfortable in the group as quickly as possible, and (3) To disproportionately praise, admire, and shout-out character-based behaviors versus talent-based ones.

It’s important to remember, as leaders/teachers, that content isn’t the end-all, be-all. Delivery—how that content is packaged and sent—matters just as much.

Modeling The Way

Published on May 13, 2023

While I was sitting in my office the other day, a parent knocked at my door and asked if I had a minute to chat.

I replied, “Of course” and invited him in.

He took a seat, tilted up his hat, rubbed his head, and with a somewhat heavy face said, “My son is having a hard time finding motivation to come to Martial Arts class…”

Having had this conversation countless times before, I started downloading potential replies from my brain on the benefits of persevering, how discipline is built, habit formation, befriending momentum, being creative in approach, etc.

And just as I was finishing my thought process, he continued by saying something I can’t remember hearing another parent say (in this order) in all my 20+ years of teaching martial arts…

He said, “…So I think I’m gonna sign up myself.”

Somewhat dumbfounded, I sat there for an awkward minute, trashed the previously downloaded files and started writing fresh script in real time on how… damn impressive hearing that was.

What usually follows from the parent after that initial comment are excuses, justifications, additional challenges, membership questions, and/or requests to pause/cancel.

But, to hear a parent say: so I’m going to lead the way and show him how to persevere through my example… was incredibly refreshing and an example I think we all—not just his son—can learn from.

More Important Than Winning

Published on April 29, 2023

What’s more important than winning?

  • Honor (cheating to win isn’t a win).
  • Learning (winning and not learning isn’t a win).
  • Respect (rubbing a win in somebody’s face isn’t a win).
  • Grace (If a win doesn’t make you more grateful, more humble, more giving, more kind, more elegant etc.—it isn’t a win).
  • Connection (none of us wins alone—every win is a team effort in some way. Winning without a deepened connection to those who helped us win, isn’t a win).

I have seen many competitors get 1st place who definitely did not win.

And I have seen many competitors get last place who, in every respect, most certainly won.

Be careful how you define winning and success in life—it’ll end up defining your identity and journey in life.

Body Armor

Published on April 3, 2023

As a martial arts instructor, it’s important I keep my body in good health so I can lead by example, demonstrate proper techniques, and perform when needed.

Building resiliency in my body so I’m able to do that, however, doesn’t mean I avoid anything and everything that might lead to injury—under the guise that if I never do anything hard, I’ll never get hurt, and if I never get hurt, I’ll be “resilient” and able to keep performing.

Building resiliency actually means I expose myself to all the challenges (in a smart, healthy way) so that my body can adapt and prepare for more of the same the next time.

Sheltering ourselves from things that are hard doesn’t make us more resilient—it only makes us more vulnerable to injury. Because eventually, as we avoid challenge, our bodies become frail, and frail bodies are the ones that are injury prone. Plus, it’s harder to recover an injured frail body because it’s weak all over—not just in the injured area.

The resilient person does hard things often; things that are uncomfortable and challenging; things that frequently push their body to its limits. And when they’re smart and deliberate about it—it leads to armor, not injury. Armor that allows them to lead by example, demonstrate high level techniques, and perform with their full life force when needed…

Because they’re strong all over.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.