Tag: Analogies

On Keeping Your Grass Green

The grass is greener on the other side—particularly when you’re comparing your grass to others’. Someone’s grass will always be greener than yours by comparison. But, if you stop comparing your grass to others, you might be able to reallocate that time to caring for your own… thus making it greener than it ever could have been before.

The grass is greener where you water it—especially when water comes in finite quantities. If you spray your water on other people’s lawns all day… don’t be surprised when your lawn is dying and yellow. Water your grass first, invest a little extra where it’s struggling, and gift the rest to others—in that order. And don’t be stingy with your water when you’re done taking care of yours… the beautiful thing about tomorrow is you’ll always get a full refill to use once again.

Finally, one more… but first, context: I uploaded a quote today to MMQ that said: “Maybe you don’t need to move abroad, dump the boyfriend or quit the job. Maybe you just need to learn to appreciate what you have. The grass is greener where you water it.” To which I’d encourage you to consider another equally important variable: The grass is greener where it’s less toxic—sometimes you do, indeed, just need to either move or get some new grass altogether… And not because you’re not thankful… but because you’re smart and know that environmental health is just as important as any other variable.

Inner Work Prompt: What would you say is the state of your “lawn.” How healthy/unhealthy is it? Why? What do you need to do (really) to make it greener?

Problem Solving Like A Gardener

An inner work exercise: pick a problem, any problem, you’re facing in your life right now… write it down.

Inquire as to whether the problem is being caused by a deeper rooted problem or if that problem is the core problem that can’t be traced any deeper.

If it can be traced deeper, write down that bigger problem and continue until you get to the core.

Next, move in the opposite direction, start at the core problem and string together all of the additional problems that one root problem is causing—creating a roots-of-a-tree looking diagram.

Continue until all of your ideas are exhausted.

Then… study that diagram. Look closely at the impact of that one root problem. Imprint that impact on your mind. Let it soak deeply into your conscious awareness.

Continue this inquisition by imagining, like a gardener tending to the weeds of a garden, how this problem will respond if you remove or “solve” one of the superficial layers… visualize how, with the root still in tact, it’ll just grow back and manifest itself equally, if not stronger, than before.

Then, visualize how the problem will respond when you remove or “solve” the core problem… visualize how, like a weed being yanked out in full, all of the connected problems will be solved, too.

Finish by mentally repossessing all of the energy you normally devote to the solving of superficial layer problems, and vow to unleash ALL of that repossessed energy on the root problem itself.

Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed and outnumbered—not because of the number of problems per se—but, because of our lack of focus on root problems vs superficial problems.

How To Make A Pond Ripple

Pre.S. The following is an elaboration of this post from June 2021.

Where’s the best place to make a pond ripple?

At the pond’s front? To where it’s deepest? Dead in the middle?

Here’s what I think: …There isn’t one.

The ripples from a stone dropped into a pond will ripple outwards regardless of where the stone hits the water. It’s the nature of the water to ripple when the action of the stone hits it.

Now I ask you this: where’s the best place to make a difference in the world?

Answer: there isn’t one.

Right where you are is as good as any.

What you have right where you are—is a pond. One that ripples just as any other pond ripples.

And what each of you reading this have right now—are stones in your hands… or ideas in your head if you want to break from the metaphorical.

And what so many of us do with our stones is… wait.

…Wait until we get to a different or bigger pond… wait until we get a perfectly shaped rock… wait until we time our circumstances or the weather out just right…

And so many of our stones just get left unthrown… stacked in our head… collecting dust… just waiting for the moment when we’ll finally utilize them.

…And we’re not talking about a handful of stones. We’re talking about the equivalent of an ocean’s worth of stones just washing up and down the floor of our mind.

Stones that could cause ripples of kindness, ripples of growth, ripples of hope, ripples of generosity, ripples of strength… if we just trusted ourselves enough to (finally) let them free.

Got Fruit?

Plant seeds early and often.

Needing fruit today and not having planted any seeds for that fruit will bear you zero fruit.

And while today is the worst time to plant a seed for a fruit today, it’s simultaneously the best possible time to plant a seed for fruit in the future. In fact, there could be no better time than today to plant your seeds since, you know, there’s no planting seeds yesterday.

The life reality is: you get the fruit only after the seed has been planted, cared for, and nurtured to the point of being ripe—on its own timeline, not yours. And not every seed will take. And not every seed will bear perfectly ripe fruit. And not every seed will survive to adulthood/fruition.

But, if you plant seeds early and often… and you do so abundantly and carefully… and you keep investing time and energy into those seeds’ future… fruition will soon come. And you’ll get to enjoy your season of harvest after having endured many seasons of patience and hard work. This is true for relationships, career, finance, health, education, and so on.

Don’t wait until you need the fruit to start planting the seeds.

Seed planting and care should happen early and often, at each available moment, today and every day.

P.s. What I Learned From Losing In A Seed Growing Contest… And I tried really hard to win, too.

The Tree(s) of Life

“The branches of happiness can only reach as high as the roots of sadness go deep.”
Osho

Whenever I find myself feeling sadness, for whatever reason, this expression reminds me that it’s precisely the right time to focus on roots—it isn’t something to avoid or curse. That it’s, in fact, the perfect time for depth and more deeply entrenching my “roots” into the nature of my character.

And just recently, I’m recognizing that it is the same for the relationships we have with others, isn’t it?

The people you feel most deeply connected with, I’d be willing to bet, are the ones you’ve shared the most with in both directions of that relationship’s tree—branches/happiness and roots/sadness.

This is why the relationships you only share happiness with can often collapse and end. Not because it wasn’t happy enough, but, because of a lack of depth… a lack of roots… a lack of sadness or heaviness shared. No roots and all branches cause trees to timber.

….All roots and no branches don’t work much better either.

Without any way of adding warmth/humor/sunlight to the relationship, the tree dies—no matter how deep the roots go. It’s the duality of both that makes the tree’s growth work.

Wherever you find yourself in your relationships—both with yourself and others—the point is to be there; in those moments. And really feel whatever it is your feeling. Let your roots deepen. Let your branches stretch outward. Let what you feel, flow. And let yourself flow freely between all of life’s emotions.

This is how we honor and facilitate the growth of all the tree(s) of our life.

Creative Juicing

There’s only so much creative juice available to us each day.

If we align our time/energy/effort properly, we can maximize the juice we’re able to squeeze. But, if we don’t take care of ourselves, carelessly wash away our most valuable hours, and/or succumb to passive entertainment… we miss our opportunity to squeeze creative juice at all.

…And what a shame to be given a ripe fruit and not get even one taste of its juice.

Set aside some proper time to squeeze, however, and you’ll reap the rewards. The first big squeeze, done at your peak time, will yield the greatest results. Wait for a while longer inside the day and you’ll get a second shot at the same, once squeezed fruit—it doesn’t replenish. And so it is for each attempt inside the day after that.

After the first two or three major squeezes, the additional squeezes won’t yield very good results. You’re better off releasing the fruit, resting, and allowing your creative juices to replenish. This is why working when you’re exhausted can feel like such a waste of energy/effort—you’re squeezing from an exhausted fruit.

And this is why, the people who are able to squeeze the most creative juice from life don’t do so in short stints of time. They routinely get their two to three big squeezes from the fruit that’s replenished each day and do so over an extended period of time. And if you want to squeeze the most creative juice from this life, that’s what you should plan for, too.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

The Happiness In Between

In a recent newsletter, Mark Manson offered a wonderful analogy for happiness. He said it was like, “Pleasant background music to everything else you do in life.” …He explained how it isn’t the highs; it isn’t the highlights; it isn’t the getting high—it’s the general feeling that arises in the background of it all.

And the more we mistake happiness for the highs in our lives, the more unhappy we’ll be. Because, by definition, the highs can only be few and far between.

The real test of happiness is when there is precisely nothing exciting happening. When there are no extraordinary moments unfolding, no phones out dealing dopamine, and no drugs or alcohol around. When it’s just you inside one of those vast majority moments that exist in-between the highs.

…What does the music sound like? Is it pleasant or is it annoying? Is it something you can even hear?

Here’s my recommendation: as you would create a playlist of songs on your phone to elicit/ facilitate certain moods, so too should you create a playlist of activities in your life that do the same.

Things that aren’t extraordinary in nature, aren’t added to highlight reels, and don’t involve state-altering substances—normal moment things that can help you come into tune with the background music of your life.

Things like screen-free walks, hikes, meditation, art, dance, exercise, journaling, conversation, etc.

Things that are… pleasant.

P.s. Today, I’m thankful for a quiet neighborhood. A place where I can easily tune and re-tune the background song(s) of my life.