Tag: Analogies

Sponges Do What Sponges Do

Published on October 27, 2024

I saw a man carrying a baby today.

And for whatever reason, the contrast made me think about how that adult man was carrying what would eventually be an adult man in due time.

And then the thought of an adult man carrying an adult man made me chuckle.

But then, I thought about how these soon-to-be adults are sponges that soak in every waking experience as information that influences them to become the adults they eventually become.

And how there really is no un-influential experience—everything is either being recognized and processed consciously or is seeping in via the periphery and is being stored for what it’s worth unconsciously.

And how damn important it is to pay attention to the kinds of experiences we’re soaking in on a daily basis. Because don’t get it twisted: there is no un-influential experience. We’re either growing or atrophying; healing or regressing; learning or losing—with each soaked in moment of our day.

And don’t think for a second that you’re any different than that baby. Sure, they’re sponge might be a little more absorbent at their youthful age—but yours works in the same damn way. Sponges do what sponges do—even if they’re a little older.

Candles Aren’t Made For Boxes

Published on October 25, 2024

It doesn’t matter how many other wicks the unlit candle touches—or for how long—the unlit candle won’t light any others.

The candle would be much better off forgetting about the other wicks and focusing on lighting its own.

…And there’s no shortage of fire sources in this world.

It’s just that, oftentimes, the candle becomes too preoccupied admiring the flame of others… it gets self-conscious and fearful about what others might think about how it burns from its wick… it decides it might be better off staying inside its box and watching the other candles from afar.

…But, candles aren’t made for boxes.

Candles are made for lighting.

And not only do lit candles combat the world’s darkness… but, they lose nothing by lighting the wicks of others… and compared to the unlit candle’s work, leads to exponential returns.

What To Do When You Realize You’re On The Wrong Train

Published on October 21, 2024

“If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station, the longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.”
Japanese Proverb

It’s pretty easy to see how this relates to life.

Once you realize you’re on the wrong path—with a person, a behavior, an educational or career path etc.—take action as soon as possible to get off and adjust.

…Duh.

The harder to understand piece to this advice is the “once you realize” part.

…Because it isn’t always immediately obvious that we’re on the wrong train in life. Or what starts out feeling like the right train, slowly and so subtly that we don’t even realize it, becomes the wrong train. Or we miss the station we’re supposed to exit at and board a different train and find ourselves several stations in the wrong direction.

The real key to properly applying this analogy to your life is in understanding how you can stay on top of your realizing.

An excellent place to start is to do your homework up front: Are you sure this train is heading in a direction you want to head? Are you sure this is the best train to get you there? How sure are you that you can trust the sources that are giving you this information?

And an excellent ongoing practice to have once you’ve boarded a train is to do checkpoints along the way: Am I still heading in my ideal direction? Am I sure there isn’t another train that can get me where I want to go faster? Do these landmarks match what the direction of this train promised?

The Art of Being Actually Helpful

Published on July 3, 2024

I have two baby trees growing in my front yard.

They planted themselves and all I did was not mow them dead while cutting the lawn. And it’s been about a year now.

The one is growing in solid. Upright and sturdy. Tons of branches and leaves. About 5 feet tall.

The other is… not so much. He’s having a hard time staying upright as of late. He’s about 4 feet tall and was toppled over almost in full, laying sadly on the lawn when I looked out the front window the other day.

So, I propped him up with a makeshift crutch and he was good again.

Until today, when I looked out and saw that he’s starting to lean the other way now.

I want to help as little as possible because I know it’s through this process that he’ll deepen his roots. Which, evidently is the main difference between the first tree and this one. Mr. 4 foot either reached a little too high, too fast with his branches and/or didn’t invest enough time on the deeper, wider reach of his roots.

Of course, I can’t deepen his roots for him and the more I add crutches, the less he’ll invest in root stability himself. On the other hand, I can’t just leave him toppled over… so there’s this delicate balance going on of letting him get knocked around by the elements and making sure he doesn’t topple over and die completely.

…An act I think about often as it relates to life.

There’s trying to help… and then there’s letting people help themselves.

The art of being actually helpful is in balancing these efforts mindfully.

On Keeping Your Grass Green

Published on June 21, 2024

The grass is greener on the other side—particularly when you’re comparing your grass to others’. Someone’s grass will always be greener than yours by comparison. But, if you stop comparing your grass to others, you might be able to reallocate that time to caring for your own… thus making it greener than it ever could have been before.

The grass is greener where you water it—especially when water comes in finite quantities. If you spray your water on other people’s lawns all day… don’t be surprised when your lawn is dying and yellow. Water your grass first, invest a little extra where it’s struggling, and gift the rest to others—in that order. And don’t be stingy with your water when you’re done taking care of yours… the beautiful thing about tomorrow is you’ll always get a full refill to use once again.

Finally, one more… but first, context: I uploaded a quote today to MMQ that said: “Maybe you don’t need to move abroad, dump the boyfriend or quit the job. Maybe you just need to learn to appreciate what you have. The grass is greener where you water it.” To which I’d encourage you to consider another equally important variable: The grass is greener where it’s less toxic—sometimes you do, indeed, just need to either move or get some new grass altogether… And not because you’re not thankful… but because you’re smart and know that environmental health is just as important as any other variable.

Inner Work Prompt: What would you say is the state of your “lawn.” How healthy/unhealthy is it? Why? What do you need to do (really) to make it greener?

Problem Solving Like A Gardener

Published on June 6, 2024

An inner work exercise: pick a problem, any problem, you’re facing in your life right now… write it down.

Inquire as to whether the problem is being caused by a deeper rooted problem or if that problem is the core problem that can’t be traced any deeper.

If it can be traced deeper, write down that bigger problem and continue until you get to the core.

Next, move in the opposite direction, start at the core problem and string together all of the additional problems that one root problem is causing—creating a roots-of-a-tree looking diagram.

Continue until all of your ideas are exhausted.

Then… study that diagram. Look closely at the impact of that one root problem. Imprint that impact on your mind. Let it soak deeply into your conscious awareness.

Continue this inquisition by imagining, like a gardener tending to the weeds of a garden, how this problem will respond if you remove or “solve” one of the superficial layers… visualize how, with the root still in tact, it’ll just grow back and manifest itself equally, if not stronger, than before.

Then, visualize how the problem will respond when you remove or “solve” the core problem… visualize how, like a weed being yanked out in full, all of the connected problems will be solved, too.

Finish by mentally repossessing all of the energy you normally devote to the solving of superficial layer problems, and vow to unleash ALL of that repossessed energy on the root problem itself.

Sometimes, we feel overwhelmed and outnumbered—not because of the number of problems per se—but, because of our lack of focus on root problems vs superficial problems.

How To Make A Pond Ripple

Published on March 15, 2024

Pre.S. The following is an elaboration of this post from June 2021.

Where’s the best place to make a pond ripple?

At the pond’s front? To where it’s deepest? Dead in the middle?

Here’s what I think: …There isn’t one.

The ripples from a stone dropped into a pond will ripple outwards regardless of where the stone hits the water. It’s the nature of the water to ripple when the action of the stone hits it.

Now I ask you this: where’s the best place to make a difference in the world?

Answer: there isn’t one.

Right where you are is as good as any.

What you have right where you are—is a pond. One that ripples just as any other pond ripples.

And what each of you reading this have right now—are stones in your hands… or ideas in your head if you want to break from the metaphorical.

And what so many of us do with our stones is… wait.

…Wait until we get to a different or bigger pond… wait until we get a perfectly shaped rock… wait until we time our circumstances or the weather out just right…

And so many of our stones just get left unthrown… stacked in our head… collecting dust… just waiting for the moment when we’ll finally utilize them.

…And we’re not talking about a handful of stones. We’re talking about the equivalent of an ocean’s worth of stones just washing up and down the floor of our mind.

Stones that could cause ripples of kindness, ripples of growth, ripples of hope, ripples of generosity, ripples of strength… if we just trusted ourselves enough to (finally) let them free.