Matt Hogan's Blog

Keep Shooting

Published on April 21, 2024

When I take a shot and miss in basketball, I feel bad.

I feel bad not only about letting my team down, but start to feel bad about my shot.

One of the things I’ve been impressed with, playing with the guys that I do, is that oftentimes, when I or someone else misses a shot, they’ll shout out, “Keep shooting!”

…And it’s exactly what I need to hear every time I hear it.

Because they know—probably all too well themselves—that self-consciousness, self-doubt, and hesitation are the real sabotaging agent of a person’s performance. And if the team is going to win, they need each player to perform their best. Which, of course, happens when each is the opposite of what I just listed above.

…And the best way to get there, is to show your teammates support, shower them with faith, and let them know it’s okay to take a shot and miss—that it happens to all of us—so that they can stay focused and keep playing against the opposing team rather than against themself.

As it is with the teams you play life with.

Keep shooting.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Rhythmic Living

Published on April 20, 2024

Social interaction is like breathing.

Time spent with people and time spent without people is like breathing in and breathing out.

…Which is considered a breath in and which is considered a breath out, however, differs person to person.

For some, time alone is a breath in and time spent with others is a breath out.

For others, time spent with others is a breath in and time spent alone is a breath out.

Neither way is better than the other—breathing is breathing.

What’s important to know, however, is which feels like which to you and then balancing in the appropriate opposite so as to establish a steady breathing pattern.

Time spent alone is breathing in for me. Time spent with others is breathing out.

Whenever I’m feeling drained, irritable, or frustrated—I know I probably need to step away from people and take a deep breath in.

And whenever I’m feeling excited, lonely, or some kind of depressed—I know I probably need to get out of my own head and breathe out.

Virtual doesn’t count.

Breathing is IRL only.

And if you get this balance right, your life will probably start to feel a whole lot less suffocating and sporadic a whole lot more rhythmic.

Another Day Richer

Published on April 19, 2024

If I offered you $1,000,000—would you take it?

…I’m going to assume yes.

If I told you the only stipulation is that you don’t get to wake up tomorrow—would you still take it?

…I’m going to assume no.

Which means—now stay with me here on this one—waking up tomorrow is worth more to you than $1,000,000.

So, do me (and yourself) a favor if you haven’t already and recognize that in this moment.

…Feel the true luxury of being able to live in this moment—a luxury worth more than $1,000,000. Try to fully experience all of the things that $1,000,000 can’t buy. Take the almighty dollar sign off that pedestal and shift your focus towards the things that really enrich your life experience.

…And do me (us) a favor and read this again tomorrow.

Cheers to another day (really) richer.

Fixing Feelings

Published on April 18, 2024

I started uploading quotes from Crying In H Mart by Michelle Zauner this week to MoveMe Quotes. And one of the quotes I uploaded today was:

“Sometimes my grief feels as though I’ve been left alone in a room with no doors. Every time I remember that my mother is dead, it feels like I’m colliding with a wall that won’t give. There’s no escape, just a hard surface that I keep ramming into over and over, a reminder of the immutable reality that I will never see her again.”

…I’m sure you’ve had moments in your life when people were sharing feelings of grief and you didn’t know how to reply.

What occurred to me as I was reading this today was, if she was explaining this feeling to me directly… this deep, complex, very personal feeling… there’s nothing to explain back.

There’s nothing to fix. There’s nothing to cure. There’s nothing to correct.

There’s no need for any kind of worldly insight or prognosis.

What should be offered in response is simply space.

A space that’s warm. A space that’s supportive. A space that’s patient.

…A space where that person and his/her feelings can fully be.

Because oftentimes, in our relentless pursuit of happiness, we mistakingly believe that grief or pain or sadness is something that should be avoided, cured, or suppressed. And with the world’s insight available to us in just a few thumb taps, it can be tempting to want to curate some type of wise, logical, rational response. When really, it’s this very process of giving ourselves and our feelings space to breathe that we give ourselves what we’re really after in life… depth.

Controlling Stimuli > Controlling Responses

Published on April 17, 2024

Every stimulus begs a response.

Your phone rings from every call—and “likely spam” is your bff. You must decide if you’ll look, not look, answer, or ignore—every time.
An app sends a notification. You must decide if you’ll clear it, check it (and likely go down the rabbit hole), or ignore it (and wonder about it on and off until you check it).
A company emails you about a sale. You must decide if you’ll read it, click it, trash it, or ignore it.
A friend asks you to do something you don’t want to. You must decide if you’ll say yes, say no, or come up with some kind of excuse or delay.
The social media accounts you follow show hyper fit and popular people doing incredible and hilarious things that make you feel bad about yourself. You must decide if you’ll leave it and keep opening and scrolling, if you’ll unfollow/mute/block, or if you’ll ignore.

It’s one thing to work really hard to train your responses. To understand that the gap between stimulus and response is your destiny. To learn to control anger, to calm yourself after getting triggered, to manage your impulses to indulge, to have the confidence to stand up for yourself, to teach yourself to love yourself and not compare yourself to others…

…And it’s a whole ‘nother thing to design your lifestyle in a way that those types of stimuli that illicit those types of undesirable responses don’t even exist.

P.s. If you enjoy getting these types of morning stimuli, you can support my future work by filling up my cup with that hot, brown goodness here.

The Path Of Most Resistance

Published on April 16, 2024

As a leader/role model/parent/etc, saying what you expect is one thing.

…Inspecting what you expect is another.

If getting certain tasks done is important, delegating them and asking someone to do it once isn’t enough. You must follow up. And even after you’ve confirmed a good track record, it’s still important to inspect their work regularly—albeit maybe in less frequent time intervals.

What’s important to remember is that we humans have the tendency to skew our directions towards the path of least resistance—always—and oftentimes even unbeknownst to us.

And without any checks… there won’t be any rebalances.

If we want to keep our trajectory pointed towards excellence—then we’re going to need to hold each other accountable. Because excellence, essentially, is the path filled with the most resistance. And we don’t just stay on that type of path without help, accountability, or well built self-discipline.

The path we’re innately wired to follow is the one that leaves us bound to land somewhere in the middle or below—where average effort and results reign supreme. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

But if excellence is what you’re after (what you’re seriously after), then rewiring is going to need to be involved. And not just a one-and-done kind of rewiring… but, the constant, deliberate, above-and-beyond kind.

…The kind that always gets checked so it’s always staying balanced.

P.s. Need help building self-discipline? My guide will help. Now 30% off for a limited time.

Not Every Stranger Is Out To Get You

Published on April 15, 2024

As I was walking my dog yesterday, I came across a neighbor’s kid who was outside practicing soccer.

He was jumping up and down passing the ball one foot to the other presumably drilling ball handling skills.

But, when he saw my dog and I coming, he subtly grabbed the ball and walked off his front lawn, up his driveway, and to the back of his house—completely out of sight as we passed.

And it made me feel bad/sad.

I don’t know if he was shy or if I looked intimidating or if my dog looked intimidating or what…

But, I certainly didn’t want to interrupt his practice or make him feel awkward.

And I certainly would’ve said “Hi” and smiled as we passed.

Heck, I would’ve even kicked the ball with him if he hit it my way and we could’ve become acquainted as neighbor friends.

I write this as a reminder that not every stranger is out to get you… that not every social interaction is going to be as awkward or one-sided as you might think… that there is a lot more good in the world than the news/media might make you believe.

And while it’s undoubtedly important to teach people to be cautious (as a martial arts instructor, this is one of the major lessons I teach)… I’d argue it’s just as important to teach people to be brave.

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