Matt Hogan's Blog

We Fear What We Don’t Understand

Published on July 3, 2021

My dog will BARK and YELL and RAGE and fearlessly advance towards even the most vicious looking dogs.

But, pops, cracks, and whizzes from the fridge?

Terrified. Whimpers. Needs to be held.

These noises, of course, don’t scare us because we understand them.

But, failure, aloneness, suffering?

Leaves most of us terrified, whimpering, and feeling like we need to be held.

Maybe it’s the case that these things aren’t inherently scary, but we’re just scared of them because we don’t fully understand them.

Maybe if we spent more time learning how to fail forward, enjoy aloneness, and channel our suffering—we wouldn’t be so scared?

Things become less scary once we understand them.

This post became the introduction for: 13 Rousing Delia Owens Quotes from Where The Crawdads Sing on Abandonment, Love, and Self-Reliance

Knowing It All Is Bad For Connection

Published on July 2, 2021

Not having it all figured out is an excellent place to come from when connecting with people.

Because here’s the thing: neither does anybody else.

Too many people forget this.

Figuring things out together is a magnet for connection.

It allows for reciprocity. It allows for synergy and exchange. It allows for healing and growth.

And, what’s more, is that it will help you figure things out faster than trying (waiting) alone ever will.

New, Better Ideas

Published on July 1, 2021

New and better doesn’t come until there’s room.

If our minds are filled with old, redundant ideas then maybe it’s time to clear some space.

How?

Write more of your ideas down. Even (especially) the old, redundant ones.

The key here is that remembering takes up thinking space, thus consuming the exact space you need to generate new, better ideas.

Furthermore, it’s often the case that ideas piggyback on each other.

So, whatever time you spend trying to remember initial ideas, is in turn stifling the ideas that want to piggyback off those initial ideas.

Don’t rely on memory.

In paper and pens; thumbs and screens—we must trust.

Keep your headspace clean and clear and ready for whatever you might think of next.

Like a dresser filled with old clothes, you have to let go of the old in order to make room for the new. If you feel like you have no time or space to do new things—things of interest to you—maybe it’s because your dressers are full.

This doesn’t mean you need to be done with something just because it’s old. Just that you should carefully inspect everything old—as you would if you were clearing out your belongings.

But, don’t let your possessive side take over.

That shirt you haven’t worn in over a year? It’s probably time to part ways.
Those jeans you had forgotten all about? Obviously weren’t missed when they were gone.
Your favorite button-up that you haven’t worn since it got stained? Yup, time to move on.

Being possessive is instinctual. We want to hold on closely to all that we’ve acquired. But, the more we hold on to, the more we become held down. The more we stuff our drawers will the old, the less space we’ll have for anything new. And the more stubborn we are with our current lifestyle, the harder it will be to upgrade to any kind of a new one.

Close The Loop

Published on June 29, 2021

Satisfied people are far more thoughtful than unsatisfied people.

Worth pointing out: by thoughtful I mean someone who has shown careful consideration or attention.

What I don’t mean: someone who gets overwhelmed with impeding thoughts.

The benefit of being thoughtful up front, is that once you’ve paid the appropriate dues (in careful consideration or attention), then the thought becomes a closed loop.

In other words, once you understand what satisfies a person (you), you can be done thinking about it.

Otherwise, if you don’t know, only think you know, or outsource your thinking (to others who don’t know, only think they know or, even worse, to multi-million dollar media brainwashing campaigns)—the loop will stay open. And unsatisfied will remain the reality.

If you’re unsatisfied, rather than chasing forever fleeting desires, maybe spend more time in careful, reflective, reasoned thought.

Close the loop.

Holding On Vs Letting Go

Published on June 28, 2021

The more you try to control something, the more it controls you.

The more you try to control someone, the more they control you.

The more you try to control in life, the more it all will control you.

The road to freedom has less to do with control and more to do with letting go.

If you want more freedom, rather than holding tightly to more, unclasp your grip and think about how you can hold on to less.

Not All Battles Are Fought With Fists

Published on June 26, 2021

“Last week, a kid rode beside me while I ran, yelling ”Chinatown!” Today, a 2nd one rode by and spat on me. I’m shocked because they were with their parents, who didn’t say anything. I’m even more ashamed because I didn’t either. One day, I hope to be courageous enough to.”
Aletheia Délivré, Twitter

Courage isn’t cursing the kids who act disgustingly.

Courage isn’t forcing lessons down kids’ throats whose parents could care less.

Courage isn’t on-demand TED Talks on why you shouldn’t spit on others or use derogatory language.

Courage is far more versatile than that.

Courage is breaking the cycle of hate and deploying actions of love.

Courage is careful reflection and the igniting of hard-to-have conversations.

Courage is transforming the pain of life into something that can be gifted to others.

Let’s not pigeonhole courage into a one-size-fits-all box.

Each of us should fight our battles utilizing the unique strengths that have been gifted to us.

Writing is how I fight mine. And I suspect Aletheia’s tweet sent out more waves of support and acceptance than anything she could’ve said or done in the heat of those above mentioned, disgusting moments.

Nothing can be said to the ears of those who don’t want to hear.

But, to the ears that do?

When the right message makes its way to the ocean of ears who do care, are willing to support a just cause, and have the conviction to unite and fight?

The result may very well match the might of the ocean herself.

And to you, Aletheia, who did absolutely nothing wrong, hold your head up high and keep fighting the good fight. You have nothing to be ashamed of and everything to look forward to. You’ll become better from this. And so, too, will the world.

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