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On Gifting

Many people don’t do it right.

Upon receiving a gift, many will try and reciprocate with something of equal-ish value.

While it might feel like this is what’s fair and rebalances a previously unbalanced situation… what it actually is is a misunderstanding.

The purpose of a gift isn’t to barter.

If the person wanted to barter, then they would’ve (should’ve) made that clear from the onset (i.e. “I’ll give you this book for that $15 gift card).

The purpose of a gift is to receive back not a material item, but an emotion in return.

When I give you a gift, I’m after the look on your face; I’m after the warmth; I’m after the liveliness/gratitude/joy that it might bring you.

And what many people don’t understand is that: what you return in barter, you take away in emotion.

Imagine on Christmas morning, after each present was given, the receiver pulling out their wallet and paying you back exactly the price of each gift.

…It would defeat the whole point!

Gifting shouldn’t be seen as an obligation (to give back what’s been given); it should be seen as an opportunity to exchange emotion.

Because ultimately, while material items might seem like the goal, emotion is what we’re always really after anyways.

And gifting is one of the most beautiful ways to evoke that warm, loving emotion that fills us up so quickly—both when giving and receiving.

Don’t rob someone of that opportunity to fill up by returning in barter what they gift graciously.

Be a good receiver and give them in emotion what their gift (or effort) genuinely provides.

Published inArchivesMeaningful ConnectionUnderstanding Love