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Category: Living Well

When You’re A “2” Out Of “10”

Published on June 1, 2023

A student of mine returned to martial arts class yesterday after having suffered from a rough few days of food poisoning.

Having been there, I know that coming back from this is no joke.

After the class concluded, he pulled me to the side and made a comment that I thought was worth sharing.

He said, “When I came to the school, I was at a 2 [out of 10]. I was texting my wife telling her how rough I felt and how I didn’t think I’d make it to class. After an hour or two I felt more like a 3. By the time class came around, I felt like a 4. Once I was in class I was a 5. And when it was over, I was a solid 6 or 7.”

I’ve written about this before and this is no small insight.

The byproduct of doing hard things is feeling better—a bump up on the feeling scale closer to “10.” Avoiding the hard things (or succumbing to excuses like, “I’ll do it when I’m a 10”), leaves you feeling worse or, best case, keeps you sulking at the number you started at.

Don’t get it twisted: we don’t do hard things when we’re at a 10—we do hard things to get to a 10 (or at least closer to it).

Big Plans Today

Published on May 31, 2023

I have big plans for the future.

As do you, I’m sure.

And in the moments when I can feel myself wanting them to become a reality now—I remember that having them all come true now isn’t the point.

The point is in the figuring it out; it’s in the earning that comes from the journey; it’s in the having something big to aspire to.

Big plans are like the magnetic north of our lives.

…Arrive in a snap and we lose all sense of direction. Focus on following the pulled arrow of our compass and we get to take a series of deliberate steps forward today.

When you think about it like that—having a compass to follow or having no compass at all—suddenly, using our big plans for tomorrow as the vehicle that creates our big plans for today becomes the ideal path.

…Directionless is not a great place to be.

Onward.

P.s. My guide is all about how direction is more important than speed in life. If you need help figuring out your direction (and calibrating your life’s compass), check it out.

Normal and Nonspecific Moments

Published on May 29, 2023

This weekend, I had the great pleasure of looking through my grandmother’s personal photo albums which included never before seen pictures of my dad, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles, and various other associated parties.

In fact, it was just this weekend that I saw baby pictures of my dad—something I had never seen prior.

It struck me how grateful I was that those pictures were taken, collected, and saved.

And what I found most interesting was how much was coming back to my dad and uncle that they, just then, thought to share—things that I suspect would’ve never resurfaced otherwise. Memories that needed that trigger of a picture—taken during what would’ve been, I imagine, seemingly normal and nonspecific moments in time—to be revived in their minds.

…Moments that I, in my life, constantly question for validity and worth.

Like, why capture this moment? Why now? Why not in the next moment? Why not stay present and as aware of the moment as I can—minus the thought of how to best capture it? How to know what’ll serve the most long term value—capturing or thoroughly soaking in?

What I don’t know is how to answer those above questions.

What I do know is that, like my dad and uncle, there are countless memories laying buried in dark corners of my mind that need but a picture to be excavated and revived…

And no picture was taken.

“Yo, ChatGPT… Write Me An Article”

Published on May 18, 2023

It would be easy for me to head over to ChatGPT, GPT-4, or Bard and ask this A.I. assistant to write a blog post for me using all of the past 1,200+ articles I’ve written as context.

And I’m sure it’d be pretty damn good, too.

But, getting an instant article based on all of my past writings isn’t the point.

The point is to sweat. To reflect. To poke around. To prod. To sigh. To grunt. To take a stab. To bleed.

The point is to play the game. Not have a game simulated at the speed of light leaving you only with the final score.

Don’t get me wrong, there are a ton of exciting tasks that A.I. can do that’ll save us a ton of time.

But creative pursuits, shouldn’t be one of them.

More time to be able to spend in creative pursuits should be the most exciting prospect of the utility and application of A.I.

Question: have you utilized A.I. chatbots in a way that saved you a ton of time in your life yet? If so, how?

Appreciation Potential

Published on May 15, 2023

Hardship is a necessary ingredient for deep gratitude.

Without hardship, beautiful things get taken for granted and a sense of entitlement can develop.

With hardship, beautiful things are seen as gifts that could be lost at any moment and that sense of deep appreciation emerges.

The greater the hardship, the deeper the appreciation potential. For example:

  • The person who has always had running water doesn’t have the same appreciation potential as the person who hasn’t, who has spent most of their life thirsty, and who is suddenly given access.
  • The person who has always had many friends doesn’t have the same appreciation potential as the person who has always struggled to make friends and suddenly has a great one.
  • The person who has always had access to money doesn’t have the same appreciation potential as the person who grew up poor, with no alternative sources or connections, and is suddenly making a bunch of money on their own.

This is all to say, don’t curse your hardships—understand that your roots for appreciation are growing deeper with each passing day. And what’s really happening is you’re setting yourself up to be able to fully receive the blessings that come on the other side.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Using Busy For Good

Published on May 13, 2023

If you have time to:

  • Complain, then you also have time to express gratitude.
  • Explore the internet, then you also have time to explore nature / reality.
  • Talk poorly about people behind their back(s), then you also have time to speak constructively about people to their face.
  • Stop at a fast food restaurant to buy junk food, then you also have time to stop at a restaurant that can make your food fast and buy healthier food.
  • Rack up hours of unintentional screen time daily (e.g. constant social media refreshing), then you also have time to rack up hours of intentional screen time daily (e.g. digital / audio books).

Don’t use busy as an excuse to make poor choices. Use the momentum that comes from busy to carry you forward from one good choice to the next with more ease. Learn to use busy as a facilitator that allows you to do more good with less effort—not the opposite.

Modeling The Way

Published on May 13, 2023

While I was sitting in my office the other day, a parent knocked at my door and asked if I had a minute to chat.

I replied, “Of course” and invited him in.

He took a seat, tilted up his hat, rubbed his head, and with a somewhat heavy face said, “My son is having a hard time finding motivation to come to Martial Arts class…”

Having had this conversation countless times before, I started downloading potential replies from my brain on the benefits of persevering, how discipline is built, habit formation, befriending momentum, being creative in approach, etc.

And just as I was finishing my thought process, he continued by saying something I can’t remember hearing another parent say (in this order) in all my 20+ years of teaching martial arts…

He said, “…So I think I’m gonna sign up myself.”

Somewhat dumbfounded, I sat there for an awkward minute, trashed the previously downloaded files and started writing fresh script in real time on how… damn impressive hearing that was.

What usually follows from the parent after that initial comment are excuses, justifications, additional challenges, membership questions, and/or requests to pause/cancel.

But, to hear a parent say: so I’m going to lead the way and show him how to persevere through my example… was incredibly refreshing and an example I think we all—not just his son—can learn from.