Category: Living Well

Unlocking The Door Of Other People’s Mind

Published on November 1, 2024

It’s a pretty special moment when you see somebody have an epiphany.

And it’s even more special when it happens as a result of something you did.

The reason it’s so special is because up until that moment… nobody else had been able to (or had tried to) communicate or convey the information in a way that led to understanding.

It’s as though, finally, somebody understood them and the information well enough that they were able to mold it into the key that, finally, unlocked the door of their mind.

Which is exactly what it is sometimes—a very specific key that opens a very specific lock.

What most people try to do once they know the information, is shove it into mind doors—and hope it somehow forces it open. Or assume that the information is a single key that’ll unlock all minds.

…Nope.

The real key, pun intended, is seeking to understand the lock—the other person—well enough. Once you build rapport, hear some of their perspective, understand their learning style, observe how they act and interact in different situations, and do a little iteration via trial and error—it’s as though the teeth of the key start to form themselves.

But, just because you know the info, doesn’t mean you can make just anybody have an epiphany… it takes real patience, empathy, and curiosity to make that happen.

…Something you might think about as you head into your day with SO MUCH INFORMATION to share.

Energy Up Front

Published on October 28, 2024

I read something today that said, “It takes just as much energy to start the task as it does to delay.”

And I definitely disagree.

In today’s world, it’s never been easier to delay. And not only that, but the instant gratification that comes from delaying via distraction and dopamine hitting makes it highly rewarding to delay.

Whereas doing something that isn’t instantly rewarding, gives no dopamine hits, and is filled with natural resistance is undoubtedly harder and requires more energy—how could it not be? We have to fight, not just against the initial resistance of the task, but against the temptation that’s trying to suck our energy away and back into delay tasks.

It’s like saying it takes just as much energy to start a run around the block as it does to stay in bed and sleep in. Nope, sure doesn’t.

Here’s what I think: the conversation shouldn’t be around how much energy it takes to start… it should be around how much pain it saves you from in the end.

Sure starting a run around the block takes a bunch more up front energy than sleeping in, but it saves you from a bunch more future pain because of the delayed health benefits. And so it is with cleaning because of the delayed peace of mind benefits. And so it is with creating because of the delayed meaning benefits. And so it is with countless other growth oriented tasks.

The key is to consider your future self and do what you know is going to be good for them… even when—especially when—it requires a little more energy up front.

Being Whelmed With Infinity

Published on October 27, 2024

There is no insignificant moment.

There is no moment unworthy of your attention.

There is no space during your waking hours when the moments don’t count.

But this also doesn’t mean that every moment of your life needs to make it to your life’s highlight reel.

…When every moment is a highlight—no moment is a highlight.

All that’s required for a moment to be fulfilled is a complete and full attention.

With each moment comes an infinite array of things to soak in via our senses, things to process and act on, and directions we can choose to head.

The trick to not getting overwhelmed with this is not getting too far ahead while simultaneously not thinking too far behind.

The goal is to be whelmed with the infinity of the moment—and to deliberately subtract the “over” by being sufficiently submerged in the now.

Take it all in, y’all. Take none of it for granted. And take with you as many fulfilled moments as you can from this infinitely potential-ed day.

P.s. ICYMI, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Sponges Do What Sponges Do

Published on October 27, 2024

I saw a man carrying a baby today.

And for whatever reason, the contrast made me think about how that adult man was carrying what would eventually be an adult man in due time.

And then the thought of an adult man carrying an adult man made me chuckle.

But then, I thought about how these soon-to-be adults are sponges that soak in every waking experience as information that influences them to become the adults they eventually become.

And how there really is no un-influential experience—everything is either being recognized and processed consciously or is seeping in via the periphery and is being stored for what it’s worth unconsciously.

And how damn important it is to pay attention to the kinds of experiences we’re soaking in on a daily basis. Because don’t get it twisted: there is no un-influential experience. We’re either growing or atrophying; healing or regressing; learning or losing—with each soaked in moment of our day.

And don’t think for a second that you’re any different than that baby. Sure, they’re sponge might be a little more absorbent at their youthful age—but yours works in the same damn way. Sponges do what sponges do—even if they’re a little older.

Candles Aren’t Made For Boxes

Published on October 25, 2024

It doesn’t matter how many other wicks the unlit candle touches—or for how long—the unlit candle won’t light any others.

The candle would be much better off forgetting about the other wicks and focusing on lighting its own.

…And there’s no shortage of fire sources in this world.

It’s just that, oftentimes, the candle becomes too preoccupied admiring the flame of others… it gets self-conscious and fearful about what others might think about how it burns from its wick… it decides it might be better off staying inside its box and watching the other candles from afar.

…But, candles aren’t made for boxes.

Candles are made for lighting.

And not only do lit candles combat the world’s darkness… but, they lose nothing by lighting the wicks of others… and compared to the unlit candle’s work, leads to exponential returns.

What If Mental Health Didn’t Need Its Own Time Block…?

Published on October 23, 2024

Today’s going to be a busy day.

You have tasks that need to get done; people who need to be cared for; projects that need to be worked on; deadlines that need to be met; chores that need to get completed; bills that need to be paid; and not to forget—you have mental health that needs to be prioritized amidst it all…

Now, you could gas yourself up, paint the picture of you collapsing onto the couch at the end of your busy day where you’ll *finally* be able to relax, hit the ground running, and rush your way to reaching that destination asap…

Or… you could paint a totally different kind of picture instead…

…One where relaxing doesn’t happen at the end of your day… but one where relaxing happens throughout your day.

One where you take your time commuting one location to the next… where you slowly, but deliberately complete tasks… where you bring a calm presence to the people you cross paths with… where you slow hustle your way to excellence in all of the things you need to do rather than rush, short cut, and scrape by.

Because what you might find when you paint the “take your time” type of picture for yourself… is that your mental health might not need its own reserved time block within your days… because it will get taken care of in how you go about your days instead.

Not that there’s anything wrong with a little mental health break or siesta.

…But, there might be something a little more right with aligning mental health with your lifestyle as a whole instead.

What To Do When You Realize You’re On The Wrong Train

Published on October 21, 2024

“If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station, the longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.”
Japanese Proverb

It’s pretty easy to see how this relates to life.

Once you realize you’re on the wrong path—with a person, a behavior, an educational or career path etc.—take action as soon as possible to get off and adjust.

…Duh.

The harder to understand piece to this advice is the “once you realize” part.

…Because it isn’t always immediately obvious that we’re on the wrong train in life. Or what starts out feeling like the right train, slowly and so subtly that we don’t even realize it, becomes the wrong train. Or we miss the station we’re supposed to exit at and board a different train and find ourselves several stations in the wrong direction.

The real key to properly applying this analogy to your life is in understanding how you can stay on top of your realizing.

An excellent place to start is to do your homework up front: Are you sure this train is heading in a direction you want to head? Are you sure this is the best train to get you there? How sure are you that you can trust the sources that are giving you this information?

And an excellent ongoing practice to have once you’ve boarded a train is to do checkpoints along the way: Am I still heading in my ideal direction? Am I sure there isn’t another train that can get me where I want to go faster? Do these landmarks match what the direction of this train promised?