What comes first: the value you bring to the job… or the raise?
Some people wait for the raise before they start to improve their productivity, solve more challenging problems, take more initiative, and overall add more value to their place of work.
…But what the people at the highest career levels know is that growing into a shark is a much better strategy than waiting like a goldfish for someone to put you into a slightly bigger tank.
Little swaps that have made a huge long-term impact in my life (in no particular order):
…Not all at once, of course, but slowly and over the course of years. Once one is automatic, I try to add/adjust something else. Most recently, I’ve swapped Nutella/jelly for chocolate date spread. It’s much healthier and still has a pretty fantastic taste. Multiply these benefits over the course of years, decades, and even a lifetime and you can see the exponential power of this concept.
This is the way.
…A whole lot done over the course of a week? …Is next to nothing compared to the span of a lifetime. Even a month is a hardly noticeable speck.
The real change happens when things are done for years.
…And the best way to commit to something for that amount of time… is to make a change that’s small… aligned… yet mighty.
When you’re feeling strong, remember what it was like to feel weak. For using your strength to help the weak is one of the best uses of strength.
When you’re feeling calm, remember what it was like to feel anxious. For using your calm to help the anxious is one of the best uses of calm.
When you’re feeling joyous, remember what it was like to feel upset. For using your joy to help the upset is one of the best uses of joy.
When you’re feeling outgoing, remember what it was like to feel lonely. For using initiative to help the lonely is one of the best uses of outgoing.
When you’re feeling fulfilled, remember what it was like to feel empty. For using fulfillment to pour into the empty is one of the best uses of fullness.
What I want you to read in the above statements is that we have all experienced all of the above. Not in permanent ways, but in fleeting ways. And so it will continue.
The best thing we can do within the fleeting moments of our days is (1) do things that have the best chance of resulting in the more desired states, (2) be mindful enough to recognize these states when they arrive, (3) be more deliberate in how we pay these desired states forward.
…Because it won’t be long until you find yourself in one of the lesser desired states once again. And intentionally circulating good karma is an excellent strategy for helping not only others… but your future self, too.
One of my martial arts instructors asked me what my thoughts were on another instructor’s decreased presence because of an increased presence elsewhere and outside of the academy.
…He was concerned this instructor may choose to walk a different career path and very much wanted him to choose martial arts as his career path.
My response was simple… “Let him.”
I’ve worked with high performers my whole professional life and I know that high performers within the academy are most likely high performers elsewhere as well—and this is a beautiful thing.
The mentality should never be to stop them from exploring other areas of interest or guilt them into making martial arts the exclusive focus in their life.
The mentality should be to make our art and career so appealing and exciting that they choose us over the alternatives willingly and full-heartedly.
Because if they don’t choose us willingly, then they’re going to build up resentment. And half-hearted mixed with resentment is a bad formula for any kind of a long term partnership.
…And I’m not just talking about jobs.
Being spontaneous can be quite stressful on people.
Generally speaking, people like to know where they’re going, how they’re getting there, what to expect, how to prepare, what they’ll need, and who they might run into or see.
…But knowing all of that defeats the point of spontaneity.
Spontaneity is about trusting yourself and your intuition, your experience, and your capabilities… and leaning into the day with only a whiff of a direction or a gist of a goal.
And today, not only was I able to flex that spontaneity muscle, but I was able to do it with someone who was equally trusting.
He had complete faith in the process, carried zero worries with him throughout the day, and simply focused on contributing fully to the moments we found ourselves in.
Whether you’re being the spontaneous one or find yourself in the accompanying role… learning to trust yourself and how to contribute more fully to the overall process can lead to significantly more enjoyable days.
I love the story of how Vince Lombardi—one of the best football coaches of all-time—would, on the first day of practice, hold up a football and say, “Gentlemen, this is a football.” And would continue by coaching topics and ideas from the ground up… assuming nothing and ensuring players were fundamentally rock solid.
Today, I began the first black belt training practice for a group of students eligible this December of 2025, teaching them how to bow properly. This is something they obviously knew—much like how the above professional football athletes very much knew what a football was. But, it wasn’t about what they knew… it was about what they thought they knew that they had actually forgotten or built bad habits around.
It’s an excellent reminder that what’s on top always balances on what’s below. And if you want to have top level performances, it always starts with elite level fundamentals. Revisit your foundation often. Take it for granted long enough, and you might one day look closer and realize it’s precisely what’s preventing you from building any higher up in your life.
As a 20+ year martial arts instructor, I’d say less than 5% of the students who quit have told me they were going to do so face-to-face. The other 95% simply ghost—and I get it. It’s difficult to arrange a formal sit down with the instructor. It’s difficult to confront those feelings of maybe let down, disappointment, sadness, frustration, or moving on. It’s difficult to find the right words, to stay composed, or to know for sure if it’s the right decision…
But, the fact that it’s difficult is the point.
Think about what this teaches them… that just because ghosting is easy doesn’t mean it’s right. It teaches them that taking the extra time to arrange a formal sit down is worth it. It teaches them to put words to feelings and how to communicate those feelings to others… as opposed to just getting distracted with another busyness or obligation and hiding. It teaches them how to navigate the awkwardness, tension, and discomfort of being face-to-face with someone you’re in a difficult conversation with so that you can remain present in the space and navigate… without getting overly emotional, shutting down, and running away.
Think about what these lessons would instill in our children as they grow older and get faced with more and more difficult conversational circumstances.
Think about how many times you’ve been ghosted and how it likely was a learned behavior.
Think about how many grown adults could’ve used this kind of lesson as a child and how much different things would be for them (and you) as a grown up…