Category: Investing In Yourself

I am by no means perfect when it comes to practicing the things I write about.

In fact, the #1 person I’m writing to when I mention inner work ideas or practices—is myself.

Just this morning, for example, I found myself 40 minutes deep into a social media binge.

And this was the third or fourth day in a row where I was starting my day this way.

In the shower, I was thinking about how I felt from it… I was trying to notice my state of mind… I was trying to see if there was any value…

And I came up short… noticed anxiety and regret… and felt behind on my day.

Am I saying that all social media binges are like that? No.

But, from my experience… they almost always are.

I sometimes get a nugget or two from conscious creators… but, 99% of the time, it feels like pure entertainment junk food that leaves me exactly as it did today.

So, I once again logged out of the apps and am going to try starting my morning a little differently tomorrow.

Maybe it’s time for you take a closer look at the value you’re getting from your social media binges / morning routine…

The good thing about studying is you know how to answer related questions when they arrive…

…Don’t study, and you won’t know the answers.

This makes perfect sense in regards to tests and exams at school… or presentations given at work… but what about how it relates to life?

Why do we place such an emphasis on math… but not financial literacy?

Why do we place such an emphasis on science… but not human relationships?

Why do we place such an emphasis on history… but not mental health and healing past trauma?

Why do we place such an emphasis on sports… but not healthy living or habit building?

Why do we place such an emphasis on art… but not creative self-expression or alchemizing pain?

There are things I just don’t think I’ll ever understand when it comes to how we prioritize certain taught topics over others…

But, one thing I do understand… is that in this world we live in… most of the topics we’re going to get quizzed on by life… are topics we’re going to have to study for on our own.

We’re going to need to read interesting books… seek out life experienced people… have tough conversations… replay, reflect on, and unpack raw experience moments… and, of course, do deliberate and consistent inner work.

Don’t be surprised when life throws you some questions you don’t know the answer to when you haven’t studied.

Remember… school teaches you how to play the game of getting good letter grades.

You need to teach yourself how to play the game of living your best life.

I can teach you martial arts… but I can’t teach you passion.

I can teach you how to teach… but I can’t teach you humor, warmth, and initiative.

I can teach you what to say when you make a call… but I can’t teach you to care about the person on the other line.

Sure, I might be able to say a few things about passion, humor, warmth, initiative, and care… but the thing about each of those is that they aren’t learned from the outside-in… they’re learned from the inside-out.

Meaning, you have to learn for yourself what ignites your passion, what tickles your humor, what warms your compassionate side, what makes you want to go above and beyond, and what makes you actually give a damn about the work you’re doing…

Because what it is for me isn’t the same as what it’ll be for you.

Martial arts? A block is a block and a strike is a strike—for both me and you.

Teaching? Pedagogy is pedagogy and subject matter is subject matter—for both me and you.

Following scripts? Reading from scripts is reading from scripts—for both me and you.

Learning hard skills is black-and-white. And the thing about black-and-white skills is that it’s black-and-white for everybody.

But soft skills? Soft skills are a giant gray spectrum. And what can really make you stand out in today’s overpopulated, hyper competitive, AI evolving world… is a higher landing on that giant gray spectrum.

…Invest more into building soft skills.

When learning something new, don’t look at who has already mastered whatever it is you’re trying to learn that’s your age or younger…

…Look at who has mastered it that’s five or ten or twenty or even thirty years older than you.

Our ability to learn never dies.

Our decision that we’re “too old” or “too far behind” or “too late to the game” will, however, kill our ability to learn long before we ever die.

P.s. There is definitely somebody out there who’s doing the thing you’re interested in learning who started LONG after you did. Believe it (and stop making excuses).

My sister made an important observation at brunch this morning.

She said, “I just really want to be happy and anything that doesn’t feel good at this phase of my life, I’m removing.”

And she went on to talk about how her loyalty to people and places of work—while easily considered a strength—has turned out to be, as of late, a burden. Because while being loyal to people and places creates trust and depth of connection, it can also become a source of stagnation and toxicity. And remaining loyal to stagnation and toxicity isn’t admirable at all—in fact, it’s being disloyal to the person we should always keep at #1: ourself.

While it can be hard to detach from people and places you’ve built longstanding connection and trust with, if it isn’t serving you anymore and is making you unhappy, closing that specific chapter can be one of the most generous things you can do for the spirit of the relationship. Because not only will it create a new, fresh space for you to contemplate and play with… but it’ll likely do the same for everybody involved.

…And it’s too often that each of us forget: there is no growth without some kind of correlated “death.” You can’t keep everything the same and grow. By definition, something has got to go.

The question is, what are you willing to sacrifice for the growth you desire so?