Category: Investing In Yourself

“You’re not gonna like that I say this but, I don’t like reading self-help books.”

This is what an associate of mine said to me today.

To which I replied, surprisingly enough to her, that for the most part—neither do I.

Self-help has become a crowded space that features a ton of regurgitated ideas, shared in an often uncompelling manner, that frequently feels like fluffed up versions of blog posts that should’ve stayed as blog posts.

Maybe you can relate?

…And as a self-help nerd, you might think this presents as a problem.

But what I’m discovering more and more is that the best insights come from the best stories.

The ideas that resonate most deeply for me seem to be the hard earned ones. Not the ones where the insight is told directly—extracted by the author and written out plainly with a few supporting examples—but the ones where I feel like I lived the life of the person and experienced, through the lens of their story, the insight that was uncovered.

And I’m able to make the discovery and come to my own conclusion as a result.

In the same way that the best way to learn is to learn through (reflected upon) experience—the best way to self-help is to help yourself through the experiences of others.

In short: don’t read caricature self-help books—read fat biographies, autobiographies, and literature that has stood the test of time.

One insight from the latter is worth twenty insights from the former.

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P.s. You can see what I’m reading and what I’ve read on Goodreads. Recommendations welcome.

…I didn’t want to like them.

This was the logic I adopted from a pretty young age.

I knew that if I liked it—whatever the drug being discussed was—I’d want to do it again.

And again and again and again.

And I’m the type who has a pretty addictive personality so this trajectory I knew, wouldn’t play in my favor.

And this is a strategy that has, all-in-all, worked out very well for me.

Not only in regards to hard drugs, but in regards to an array of temptations that have crossed my path—sometimes on very accessible and shiny silver platters.

Never forget: the present you experience today is a result of the consideration you paid to your future self, in your past.

And if you can keep your future self prioritized as you would a spouse, family member, or close friend—then when that future you arrives, you just might come to meet a version of you that’s elevated, skilled, and impressive. A version of you that’s on an exciting trajectory. A version of you that you’re proud to meet.

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P.s. It’s not too late to start paying consideration to your future self, today.

Follow your curiosity is excellent advice. Except when that curiosity leads you down potentially wasteful and/or destructive paths.

I was thinking about this today as I reflected on why I was so damn sleepy.

This past Saturday, my curiosity piqued when I saw a social media video breaking down a Muy Thai fighter’s unique style and found out he was fighting that night. I followed the trail, found the fight, and ended up watching fights and fight videos until well into the night.

Then, on Sunday, I was watching football with my family. During the game, my curiosity piqued when I kept hearing about the upcoming “Must See” matchup between two great teams. So, after my hometown team’s game finished, I rushed home, took care of my final responsibilities for the evening, and stayed up, again, well into the night watching TV.

Now, did I learn something from these experiences—I guess. But, if I’m being honest, it was mostly wasteful. Earlier sleeps, more reading, and less passive entertainment would’ve been better.

Am I saying to completely ditch passive entertainment? I mean… I not not saying that… but, I will admit there can be a time and a place—for sure.

What I am saying though, is to weight the future costs of pursuing your present curiosities.

Is it going to lead to valuable skill building and useful insight or mostly wasted time and sleepy mornings? Because not all pursued curiosity is created equal. And if you can get better at picking and choosing which curiosities to entertain and prioritize… you just might find yourself picking and choosing between better/more upgraded life possibilities.

We only have so much energy we can utilize in one day.

And because of the productivity-obsessed, it’s-never-enough, hustle-based culture we live in, many of us are inclined (brainwashed) to try and squeeze every last drop of energy from our being every single day.

And while in theory this sound logical—after all, YOLO—the problem arises when we start borrowing energy from tomorrow.

See, what so many of us do in our modern world, is squeeze every last drop of energy we have… and then take substances (e.g. caffeine) that give us a few drops more… and then stay up late even though we’re utterly exhausted to squeeze a few drops more… and then try to wake up earlier to preemptively squeeze a few more (because, you know, 5am club)… and so on.

Until, of course, we’re so exhausted of drops that there’s hardly any left to give. Imagine an orange pressed through the juicing machine on it’s 30th consecutive press…

That’s you on your 30th consecutive press of energy without giving yourself the proper recovery and recharge that allows you to switch out the orange altogether.

…Hardly worth the effort.

Rather than obsess over how you can squeeze every single last drop of juice from the orange of our day… What if we focused on squeezing the 70% best juice of our day and then… here’s a radical idea… we stopped squeezing.

What if we left 30% juice in the tank for the next day?

What if… instead of obsessing on 100% squeeze today… we focused on 70% squeeze, every day, for a decade?

What if… starting today… you squeezed smarter instead of being so obsessed with harder?

An attitude of gratitude is something earned—not given.

Too many people wake up and submit to whatever mood their mind just so happens to be in and lazily and hastily deploy from that headspace for the entire rest of their day.

And what a waste on precious moments this can be.

Mindset investment, especially first thing in the morning, is one of the most crucial investments in your day.

Think about it.

Bad mood x All of the moments of your day = A ton of counterproductive, close-minded, lost opportunity minutes.

But, Bad mood x 20 Minutes of mindset investment = Better mood (maybe not great mood, but better for sure). And Better mood x All of the moments of your day = many more productive, open-minded, gained opportunity minutes.

See, you have to change your mind about not having 20 minutes in the morning for your mind.

When every other moment of your day depends on the mood / perception of your mind, you have to make up your mind that you can’t not have 20 minutes in the morning for your mind.

The entire rest of your day depends on it.

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P.s. Looking for mindset investment mood boosters? Here’s a great exercise; a great picture; a great story; a great daily mental-primer, and a great list.

I’m currently reading Siddhartha.

And according to my Goodreads profile (that I’ve been using to track my read and want to read books since December 2010), I read this book in March of 2015.

Yet, here I am, about halfway through Siddhartha with approximately 0% recollection of anything from what I’ve read so far. Like, nothing is ringing any bells. Not the plot; not the characters; not even the fact that it’s a fiction is something that I remember about it.

…This is the first time I can remember this ever happening.

I always remember at least something about a book I’ve read.

Part of me has been wondering if I even read it the first time around… As in, could I have just marked it as a book I read without actually having read it?

But, then there’s this detailed account of me having read it with page numbers completed and everything:

Can’t see the above image? Click here.

So, either I read it, but didn’t really read it (i.e. speed read or selected the wrong book on Goodreads). Or, I genuinely forgot everything I read from 2015.

Either way, the lesson is simple: don’t assume “read” as insight gained.

While the words in Siddhartha have remained unchanged, the mind through which those words are being absorbed, interpreted, and applied is completely different.

…And so will it be in another 9 years from now.

…And 9 days from now for that matter.

Don’t let “read” dissuade you from revisiting a book that’s calling to you.

Sometimes that “calling” is a nudge from a deeper understanding that extends far beyond your conscious thinking… and you just need to trust it.