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Category: Feeling Fulfilled

Stand The Heat

I woke up this morning with regret.

I wanted to run the Buffalo Half Marathon, but decided to skip it at the last minute.

When I saw the newsreels of 5,000+ people running (and finishing before I even woke up), I felt it in my gut that I made the wrong choice.

My comfort zone won the battle.

But, the war wasn’t over.

I decided I’d run my own half marathon. Right in my neighborhood. And that’s what I did.

The first half of the run was relatively smooth and uneventful. The second half was sheer pain.

My knees, ankles, hip flexors, and achilles tendons would shoot pain up my leg after every—single—freaking—step. And I wanted to stop after every—single—one—of—those—freaking—steps. But, I didn’t.

My mantras were:

  • Mind calm—body calm.
  • Pace, posture, breathing.
  • Pain now—no regrets later.
  • You’ve done this before—you can do it again.
  • I know my finish line (13.1) and this ain’t it (until it was).

Which I would repeat throughout the run to remind me that the mind will always give up before the body.

Why do we sometimes put ourselves through hell?

So we can learn how to stand (and keep moving forward through) the heat.

Also so when things are heavenly, we can truly appreciate them.

I tell you: water never tastes as good; calories never satisfy as well; and relaxing never feels as rewarding—as when you finish putting yourself through an intense challenge.

I wouldn’t do this everyday—but, it’s good to do something like this on occasion.

Keep your mind sharp. Cultivate gratitude. Expand your limits.

And live with no regrets.

Who Cares?

Nobody should care more about your life than you.

Because nobody can ever fully understand your life—and all that it entails—more than you.

So what happens when you care more about what others think than what you think yourself?

  • It means you’ve outsourced the weight of your care to them.
  • It means you’ll prioritize how you act in ways that satisfies their cares over your own.
  • It means you think their care is more aligned with your wants, needs, desires than your own.

And one of the reasons we care so much about what other people think is because we want to fit in and gain their acceptance.

But, what we have to realize is that if we don’t act in ways that is optimally aligned with our deepest wants, needs, and desires—we become irritable, frustrated, and confused.

Because that’s how being out of alignment feels.

The ironic truth is that the path towards acceptance with others is the path that leads towards acceptance of self first.

Because when we are in alignment with our deepest wants, needs, and desires—we become joyful, unbothered, and confident. And THAT is what attracts the people of your tribe who bring with them fitting in and acceptance.

Fulfillment isn’t something that can ever be outsourced.

No matter how well intentioned and good-willed the other people in your life might be.

…It can only ever be sourced from within.

Protect Your Peace

What if I told you that today, you will be exposed to messages that were deliberately designed to destroy your inner peace…

Would you approach your day differently?

Would you guard your mind more intently?

Would you more carefully choose your company?

…Because here’s the thing: you will be.

It’s Time To Rebel

Modern day culture isn’t set up to make people feel good about themselves.

It’s postured towards comfort, speed, and clicks.

It’s important to point out that the byproduct of such a culture isn’t meaning, inner peace, and happiness.

The byproduct is pain, busyness, and distraction.

Which is why “going with the flow,” “fitting in,” and “keeping up with the whoevers” can be so detrimental (and is to countless people in our society).

Those who surrender to the flow of the culture quite often get carried away into the sewers which are composed of garbage thoughts, shitty feelings, and crap relationships.

This is all to say: being passive in today’s culture is a shitty option. Pun definitely intended.

And worth pointing out: this means that meaning, inner peace, and happiness are each (and need to be treated as) acts of rebellion.

You need to rebel against the call to comfort and confront positive pain.

You need to rebel against the aggressive demands for speed and deliberately create more space for stillness.

You need to rebel against the urge to constantly click, follow, like, swipe, and subscribe—and spend more time exploring, experimenting, adventuring, connecting, and building.

Don’t expect society to carry you along gracefully to the most fulfilled version of your life.

It won’t.

In today’s world, living the most fulfilled version of your life is straight up, an act of rebellion.

And it’s time to start treating it as such.

Honest Living

  • To believe in compassion, but to live with indifference—is dishonest.
  • To believe in wisdom, but to regurgitate ignorance—is dishonest.
  • To believe in connection, but to choose isolation—is dishonest.
  • To believe in health, but to purchase sickness—is dishonest.
  • To believe in calm, but to succumb to haste—is dishonest.
  • To believe in truth, but to speak in lies—is dishonest.
  • To believe in love, but to act in hate—is dishonest.

The more of these inner contradictions that you behold (whether you consciously realize them or not), the more uneasy and conflicted you will feel towards yourself. And the more in alignment your beliefs and actions are, the more at ease and at peace you will feel.

Honest living happens when what you do aligns with what you believe.

And the byproduct of honest living is inner peace.

Those Feelings Though

What could possibly feel better than getting that new car?

Or that new phone?

Or those new shoes?

…The answer?

Whatever we decide we’re going to feel better about.

That’s the thing about feelings—they’re signals created by us as a result of what we tell ourselves about the world.

“I’m the type of person who always rocks the latest.” Versus: “I’m the type of person who knows how to rock whatever I have.”

Once we realize that our feelings are a byproduct of the stories we tell ourselves we can begin to move our pens differently—as the author of our story—and better influence the feelings that result.

More-Ons

The less I need the better I feel.

I start to need less when I stop listening to those who tell me I need more.

Therefore, the path to feeling better is to get better at avoiding (both literally and virtually) more-ons (the people who turn your mind on to needing more).