Category: Feeling Fulfilled

When you get particularly comfortable—be it at home or with a certain group of people or in a specific setting—you’re going to want to stay there.

When you get particularly good at something—be it getting good grades at school, playing a sport, expressing yourself via a craft or activity, doing a job, laddering yourself up in a career—you’re going to want to double down on that thing.

When you settle into a particular lifestyle—be it how you eat, how you move, how you screen time, how you socialize, how you spend, or how you destress—you’re going to want to replay it again each day.

And while hanging around a certain group of people or doubling down on a skill you’re good at or settling into a specific dietary routine isn’t a bad thing—and there are certainly cases where it can be an excellent thing—today’s reminder is one of living a multi-dimensional lifestyle.

Spending too much of your life where you’re comfortable leads to complacency and denies growth opportunities.

Doing only what you’re good at prevents you from exploring other possible skillsets and practicing the art of being a humble beginner.

Living life the same way every day leads to narrow-mindedness, lack of experiential learning, and missed moments of serendipity via spontaneity.

Aim to live a multi-dimensional life.

A life that’s comfortable, but challenges you in fresh ways each day.

A life that’s centered around your strengths, but keeps you humbly dabbling in your weaknesses.

A life that’s grounded in routine, but sprinkles in spontaneous moments.

A life built from a solid foundation that branches outward in curious ways.

It’s okay to be tired at the end of a long day.

No need to complain about it.

Being tired is probably a good indicator that you worked hard, got a lot done, made some necessary mistakes, had some good conversations, built a few connections, engaged in new experiences, learned a bunch, etc…

All reasons to feel proud of a tired that was earned.

What’s not okay, is being tired at the end of a long day… and feeling like you have nothing to show for it… nothing to feel proud of… nothing learned, grown from, or adjusted to on your path.

Which isn’t to say you have to spend your day any certain kind of way.

It’s simply to say, act in ways that align with your “proud”—whatever that is.

Earn your tired. Don’t complain about it.

And let your ritual at the end of the day be about appreciation… towards yourself, your life energy, your opportunities, your interactions, your perception, your lessons, your actions… let yourself drift into a wonderful sleep with gratitude towards the fact that you get to engage in life.

Something many others would kill to be able to do.

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P.s. My websites were down for the last 72 hours. Now, they’re back up and running. I apologize if this caused any inconveniences. This was my post from Monday, July 8th.

Doing the laundry isn’t the issue for me… it’s the folding and putting everything back in the proper drawers that gets me. And so I’ll often procrastinate.

On the plus side, this forces me to take a closer look at the clothes that get left for me to pick from (definitely not me trying to justify my procrastination 🙃).

My new rule is this: if I’m not willing to wear it, or I put it on and immediately want to take it back off… it’s gone. I throw it into my Goodwill pile so I can donate it to somebody who will actually wear it.

There’s no reason to hold onto something that I’m not going to use. And the reality is, holding onto old clothes that you never wear, weighs you down. If you’re going to procrastinate on returning your clean clothes to your shelves, at least don’t procrastinate on lightening your load when the ideal time for removing what you evidently don’t wear presents itself.

If your top criteria for doing something is that it be fun… then you’ll eventually regress to doing things that give comfortable thrills, dopamine hits, and easy wins.

If your top criteria for doing something is that it be meaningful… then you’ll push yourself to do things that are uncomfortable up front, but long term rewarding… things that are accompanied with progress, deep-seated gratitude, and fulfillment… things that challenge you to fail, learn, and grow.

Fun is for lazy Sundays, nights out with the boys, day trips with the girls…

Meaningful is for career paths, health and fitness efforts, community service, legacy…

The trick is to do meaningful work that you also have fun doing that you’d STILL DO even during the times when it isn’t so fun (no meaningful work is fun 100% of the time).

Expecting meaningful work to feel like an arcade isn’t practical. What you can expect, however, is to feel a deep sense fun/joy/reward from meaningful work that superficial “fun” work could never provide.

Something that comes from seeing others and feeling yourself improve… that comes from building something of value and awe… that comes from seeing your art/ creative visions come to life… that comes from thank you letters and unprompted gifts… that comes from changing lives.

Fun-only is almost always absent of meaning. Meaning-only almost always includes some sense of fun. Maybe not immediately, but almost always over the long run.

…This is the question we’ve been discussing this week at the martial arts school I teach at.

Some of the student answers we received ranged from, “Someone who has a lot of money” to “Someone who has a lot of kindness” to “Someone who has a lot of friends” to “Someone who has a big house and fancy car” to “Elon Musk/Jeff Bezos” etc.

And after discussing those answers, the answer we offered for the students to reflect on was, “Someone who appreciates all they have.”

…If your mind immediately goes to rich by comparison, then you’ll always be poor.

There will always be someone out there who has more money, more luxury items, more connections, more resources, more privileges, etc. Always.

And this is the trap so many of us fall into when we equate richness to being about what we have in comparison to.

Richness, I’d encourage you to consider, has nothing to do with comparison.

Richness has everything to do with perspective. It’s a feeling that can be cultivated—not a title earned from a number of zeros.

And once we realize this and can start actively cultivating that feeling of richness in our lives via appreciation, gratitude, mindfulness—suddenly the game we’re playing changes.

…Suddenly we get to step off the hamster wheel we’ve been trained to run on (the one that only speeds up and gets harder the harder we speed up and run)—and get to start soaking it all in instead. With each step… each conversation… each touch… each smile… each exchange along the way.

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P.s. I also published: 20 Heavy Michelle Zauner Quotes from Crying In H Mart on Cancer and Grief

• That we won the one-in-a-trillion lottery and were born.
• That we had the basics of survival covered until we were able to provide on our own.
• That we had the chance to learn and grow.
• That we were able to create art and consume art and share art.
• That we were able to love and laugh and lose…

…Is the ultimate blessing.

And to live as though it isn’t (by taking it for granted or simply forgetting) is to set your story up for an abrupt and regretful conclusion.

Modern day culture is pushing all of us—especially those swallowed deep within its massive current—towards dopamine, dopamine, dopamine with increasing intensity with each passing day.

Soak up the diagram below which illustrates these modern day currents:

The danger with surrendering to this current is that it pushes us further and further into a never ending cycle of short-term pleasure seeking where we do a dopamine releasing task, which causes the neurochemical dopamine to be released, which makes us feel good, which makes us want to repeat the stimulus, which makes us do the domaine releasing task again, and so forth until it’s repeated so much it turns into a habit and eventually—an addiction.

This addiction, like all addictions, becomes increasingly hard to satisfy which leads us further and further downstream towards increasingly intense dopamine releasing sources (e.g. doom-scrolling, gambling, nsfw content, etc). And this, of course, leads to derailed lives.

Rheotaxis is the general tendency of an organism—like a fish—to orient themselves and swim against the flow, rather than with it. And the more I look at the above diagram, the more I think they’re onto something. There are many theories on why fish do this, but the one I like to believe is that they know—be it instinctually or experientially—that upstream is where better living is found.

Maybe because it leads to the development of strength; maybe because it increases their mental acuity/awareness; maybe because it’s where the more fulfilling rewards are found…

…And maybe it’s the same for us humans and we should consider reorienting, too.