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Category: Enjoying The Journey

Plain Fun

Published on February 14, 2024

Yesterday, I hosted a martial arts class where members could train with non-member loved ones as a way to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a unique, experiential kind of way.

My goal was to facilitate a type of class that was all partner themed, game-based, and contact oriented, that felt relaxed and above all… was just plain fun.

And the response from the members after the class was overwhelmingly positive with an almost unanimous request to have more “plain fun” classes just like it.

And it was a pleasant reminder that while adults on the surface often present as serious…

…They’re really just kids inside grown-up bodies who came to adopt seriousness as a way to interact with the world—maybe because it’s what they were taught, what they intuited, or what was required—when really… adults, like kids, just want to have fun.

P.s. The next book I’ll be uploading quotes from is Self-Renewal by John W. Gardner. You can pick up a copy and read along here.

Playing Outside

Published on November 19, 2023

Today, I played pickup football with a group of 15 people, ranging in age from 11 to 55+.

As you might imagine, the ones closer to 55+ than 11 were making their fair share of comments about feeling old, rusty, out-of-shape, etc…

But, something interesting happens when you get 55+ year olds and those who think they’re close to it outside in the sun, playing an impromptu game, with a group of fun-loving people, calling plays and running routes, and doing it all how they used to as kids…

…You can almost see the years melt away, right off their bodies and faces, in real time.

Their outer shells soften. Their smiles come easier. Their physiology relaxes. The conversation lightens. Their bodies heats up and move more freely.

See, playing—in all of its forms—isn’t what makes us feel old… it’s what keeps us young.

And it isn’t until we decide that we’re “too old” to play that we truly start to age.

Make The Means Your End

Published on July 8, 2023

Most people get handed a picture of the mega-rich lifestyle and say, “Yup, that’s what I want” and spend all of their time and energy trying to paint a replica of that picture into their life without any further thought.

…Without any image at all of what their daily experience to achieve that end might look like, without any conversation around priorities, and without any authentic customizations or added personality to the picture. Just a singularly focused attempt to copy and paste another person’s end into their life, irrespective of the means.

But, what we must understand is that the means are the *real* end.

Meaning, how the moments are spent inside the lifestyle will always matter more than the mere end picture of the lifestyle.

My advice? Forget the picture. Focus on pin-pointing how you most want to spend your time. Ask yourself this fundamentally important question: “What does my ideal day look like?”—and reverse engineer from there.

Investing all of your available time and energy into an end without carefully considering the means is a mistake. Make the means your end and allow the masterpiece of your life to paint itself. Not based on some mega-rich person’s painting, but based on the brushstrokes taken uniquely by you, for you—starting today.

Inner work prompt: What does your ideal average day / lifestyle look like?

Drive To Play

Published on July 1, 2023

Tonight, for the first time in a long time I got to play sand volleyball with some friends.

It was the type of game where none of us were keeping score, all of us were yelling, diving, and cheering, and we all were about as bad as the rest—and it was a blast.

Towards the end of the game, I noticed an older women in uniform, presumably a facilities worker, who was watching curiously from the sideline.

It’s hard to describe, but in the manner of her body language, tilt of her head, and look on her face—it was as though she was living vicariously through us for that brief blip of time—unlike the other spectators who were very casually watching.

It was as though she was entranced—maybe remembering times from the past? Maybe soaking in some of the fun for herself? Maybe just entertained by the ridiculous sight of it all?

…What she was thinking, I’ll never know.

But, what it got me thinking about was how grateful I was to be the participant in those moments. To be the one on the court doing the yelling, diving, and cheering. To be the person in that privileged position of being able to play the game.

Something I think many of us take for granted… until one day we find ourselves drawn to a commotion… that’s on our path home… that contains this scene of people yelling, diving, and cheering… that leads us to a sideline… where we find ourselves watching vicariously…

And suddenly… without a drive to play.

Starving

Published on June 24, 2023

We hunt so we can eat.

And while eating is the goal, it isn’t the eating that makes us better hunters…

It’s the starving that does.

P.s. Like short bits like this? You’ll probably like my Twitter account.

P.p.s. Grateful for the starving days. I’ve become a much better hunter as a result.

Salsa

Published on April 15, 2023

When you’re out to eat at a Mexican restaurant and the casual dinner vibe unexpectedly transitions into an upbeat dancing vibe—fully equipped with a live DJ and Salsa dance instructor—you squeeze the juice out of that moment and get up and take the Salsa dancing class.

P.s. And if you can’t get yourself to dance… reflecting on why is a great inner work prompt.

Amor Fati

Published on March 21, 2023

Amor fati means “love of fate” or “love of one’s fate.”

My question for you is: Can you fall in love with your fate?

Not the fate that lies in the future, but the fate that has already revealed itself to you today; up until this point; in this moment.

And not just the fate that reveals present moments that are easy to enjoy, but also those that are misery-inducing and hard.

…Can you fall in love with that fate?

The thing about love is you can’t be selective with it because that isn’t how love works.

Love is unconditional. Love is kind. Love is overflowing, ever shining, and always trying to find its way into the darkness—it’s precisely what isn’t selective in who/what it radiates outward towards.

Because the thing about hating your fate is that it’ll lead to a ton of internal argument, inner resistance, and unnecessary suffering. Hating your fate is the person who:

  • Gets flipped off in traffic and spends the rest of the day pissed off.
  • Gets reprimanded and spends months holding a grudge.
  • Gets dumped and spends years self-demeaning and self-sabotaging.

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t have feelings—quite the opposite.

It’s to say meet each challenge with love rather than hate; embrace what arises rather than exasperate it; accept what’s out of your control (middle fingers, getting reprimanded/dumped, behavior of others, etc.) and focus on controlling what’s inside of it (e.g. how you respond).

Can you meet each present moment—your fate—with love rather than hate?

I suspect, those who can, will carve for themselves a life path that is night-and-day different from those who can’t (or choose not to).