Category: Being Present

Most of us are well conditioned for doing.

Doing is completely aligned with our fast paced, modern world.

So much so that it’s as though our proverbial to-do lists only seem to grow regardless of how many tasks we mark as done.

…And so off to do more we go.

But, what so many of us forget is that just because doing might be aligned with our fast paced, modern world—it doesn’t mean it’s aligned with our rich and complex inner world.

See, what our inner world needs is time to just… be.

It needs time to digest all that’s been done… time to process what you’ve exposed it to… time to reconnect to the present moment and soak in the experience that’s right in front of it minus all of the reoccurring, ceaseless thoughts of what’s been done (past) and what still needs to be done (future).

Being is what’s completely aligned with our inner worlds.

But, of course, things still need to get done.

Just don’t get all disproportional with it and perpetually shove “being” to the bottom of your infinite-scroll to do list.

…Because life without being isn’t a life done at all.

After basketball today, a friend shared a story of how he used to ball from 9am – 1am when he was younger. He was talking about how—in the good ol’ days—he’d get woken up at 9am by neighborhood friends, play in his driveway for a few hours, then go to the park and play for a few more, then go to a different park and play a few more, and so forth until eventually he’d make his way back home and play until he wasn’t allowed to anymore.

In the afternoon, while hanging out with my family, my aunt was telling us how she’s going to get a knee injection and how, if that doesn’t work, she may need to get a full knee replacement. She was sharing with us how she simply can’t wait to get back to a place where she can walk and not be in unbearable pain.

During dinner tonight, while eating a fantastic bowl of Phö, my little sister—who’s not really my sister but pretty much is—was reminiscing about the good ol’ days when we used to have the OG squad over for Phö nights and we’d eat around the table together, play games, watch movies, and hang out for hours and hours on end… and how she missed those times.

Ah, the good ol’ days…

We all can think back to experiences that we miss.

But just as Yesterday’s You didn’t realize they were living in what Future You would consider “the good ol’ days,” so is it true that Today’s You probably doesn’t realize that you’re living in what Tomorrow’s You will consider “the good ol’ days” right now.

Spontaneous self-expression should be honored as one of the most sacred human experiences we can witness and offer in life.

Be it through quirky or carefree dance, uncontrollable laughter, art of any kind, intimate and/or vulnerable conversation, potent emotional arises… these are the moments when we both truly remember a person and are truly remembered. These are the moments we record into our memory banks that allow us to recall the feeling and image of a person on demand. These are the moments when we/they are truly alive and most impressively connected to the present moment—despite all of the distractions, brainwashing, and suffering that’s constantly trying to yank us away.

It’s a rare and sacred moment both for you and another to experience. Recognize that and honor it for what it is. Surround yourself with more people and in more places where this is the vibe. And don’t ever be that person that kills another person’s spontaneous vibe.

Do more things that make you forget you have a phone… they said.

…And they were right.

There isn’t much presence that comes from being on a phone.

Except maybe when you’re having a great conversation.

But, that feels to me to be more of the exception than the norm in today’s world.

Phones are a modern day escape.

And there’s nothing wrong with escapes. I know I sure need them every now and again.

But, when you’re escaping for excessively large chunks of time throughout your day… it begs the question…

…What are you trying to escape from?

And how can you begin the process of reversing that trend so that your reality—your life—becomes a thing you don’t need to escape from?

---

P.s. You might notice some differences in how you get these posts emailed to you—my old email provider retired its service while I was at Burning Man. So please bear with me as I get everything migrated over and updated to a new service in the mean time. Thank you :)

There’s this girl who sits at a table by the side of the road, presumably selling something, who’s on my route to and from work each day.

I’ve seen her maybe 6-8 times in the last week or two and still have no idea what she’s selling.

Why haven’t I stopped to ask?

Well, to be honest, she doesn’t look like she wants to be bothered. She usually has her hood up, she’s slouched in her chair mostly hiding under the table, eyes glued to her phone, there’s no signage, and she rarely looks up to see if anybody is even slightly interested…

…Mind you, she doesn’t look to be any older than 13.

And yet, something about this scene resonated with what I see often in modern society.

People hiding, mostly in the comfort of their homes with their windows shut, slouched in their chairs playing keyboard warrior, eyes glued to screens, no clear indication of who they are/ what they’re doing with their lives/ how they’re trying to make a difference, rarely looking up to see what’s happening IRL when they’re away from that virtual reality (VR), waiting for someone or something to happen to them for the better.

There’s no question that there are countless, phenomenal opportunities that can be accessed IRL via VR.

But, what most modern day people seem to forget, is that there are countless, phenomenal opportunities that can be accessed IRL minus VR, too.

To rush implies a present desire to get to a future moment as quickly as possible.

…Which happens at the expense of the present moment in proportion to how much you’re rushing.

In other words, big rushing = big dissociation from the present moment… little rushing = little dissociation.

Living only happens in the present.

And while, yes, it’s still possible (and common) to dissociate from the present moment even when you’re not rushing—it can’t be ignored that not rushing is a necessary precursor to presence.

The pickle so many of us find ourselves in is that modern society is built upon a foundation of rush.

We must hurry to learn—so we can get into a competitive, name-brand college.

We must hurry to earn—so we can impress our peers with our lifestyle.

We must hurry to settle—so we can cross house, spouse, kids, and dog off our life checklists.

And so on.

The problem with this is that the foundation of life is built upon a foundation of presence—moments where you truly feel the experience of being alive.

And when the foundation of society is built on a foundation in conflict with that of life… we can have problems—namely, ends filled with lots of regret.

But, if we can break away from this societal mold and create our own little foundation of presence in our lives… we can change the direction of our lives drastically.

---

P.s. I wrote a guide to help you live a life with less regret. More on that here.

Thirty minutes spent thinking… sitting… staring at a blank page… as much as it might feel like a time waste… especially when the goal is to fill that blank page with words…

…Isn’t time wasted.

The real time waste happens when we forget what the real goal is.

…Which, at a more fundamental level, isn’t to fill blank pages with words.

…It’s to reconnect with the present moment of life that we have now.

Too easy is it in today’s world to forget that we even exist. Too much time do we spend distracted, selling our attention, consuming the lives of countless others and comparing the countless ways in which we lack.

When really… all we need to do to start feeling better… is cut all that.

…And maybe spend significantly more time thinking… sitting… staring at blank pages… confronting what it is that’s going in our minds… these minds we’ve been gifted… as we trudge forward through the thick and thin of it all… this whole experienced wrapped as a miraculous gift… the gift of life.