Category: Being Disciplined

When teaching self-defense, the goal is to get students to eventually perform with no hesitation.

Seconds matter in self-defense and any time spent hesitating, remembering, or doing mental negotiations could make a life-changing difference.

I’ve been thinking about this lately and how it applies to everyday life, too.

Using self-defense skills against physical attacks should (hopefully) be a rare, if ever type of ordeal. Using self-defense skills against everyday lifestyle attacks is an all-of-the-time type of ordeal—and thus, could prove to be invaluable to consider.

What are everyday lifestyle attacks? I’m talking about things like:

• Whether you should workout or skip.
• Whether you should eat the donut or intermittently fast.
• Whether you should wake up after the first alarm or snooze.
• Whether you should go to bed early or watch one more episode.
• Whether you should spend more time on social media or spend more time reading books.

In the midst of these mental negotiations are valuable seconds that tick away faster than we ever realize. I just recently spent 1 hour in this hesitation state deliberating between go to bed early or watch one more episode. And this is just the tip of the iceberg for what accounts for time wasted in hesitation for both me and countless others.

The mantra I’ve been practicing, when I catch myself in this mental negotiations space is: no hesitation. And, like in martial arts, I try to discipline myself to start doing the desired action ASAP without any second thoughts.

Going, I’ve learned, is one of the best means for stopping. And the longer we stay stopped, the harder it is to go. Going quicker… is an excellent strategy to consider.

On weekends, I like finishing my days with a TV show.

It’s a great way for my productivity focused mind to unplug and idle for a while. Maybe you can relate?

Here are three rules I’ve created for myself to keep this in check, though: 1) I will only ever finish my days with a TV show, 2) It’ll only ever be on weekends, and 3) I only allow it if I’ve finished all of my other priority tasks for the day.

There are two reasons why I’ve created these rules for myself: One, they are undeniably addicting—even for a self-discipled black belt like me. And two, if I don’t get my priority tasks done because I wasted too much time watching TV, I’ll undoubtedly feel regret.

That said, there’s still the question of how to stop once you’ve started watching—which is no easy feat.

First, I always assume the episode will end with another hair-pulling cliff hanger. Another episode will never make the “hanging” better—only equally hanging off a cliff or more so.

With that mindset established, here’s what I do when the episode is actually over: 1) Don’t stare at the “next episode?” button. Clear the button and let the credits play. 2) Turn down the volume and get your mind focused elsewhere asap. Even if that means checking a social media feed. 3) Once you move your mind away from the cliff enough, you’ll eventually reclaim footing back in reality and have a MUCH easier time turning the show off.

At least this is what works for me.

I’m curious: What works for you?

I wasn’t able to finish mowing my lawn… again.

While I was out traveling the past several weeks, and while everyone else in my neighborhood was getting in their first mow of the season after a long, cold, and arduous winter—my grass invited over all the neighbor’s weeds, had a party, and got its grow on.

And then, of course, when I committed to getting in my first mow, it rained and cut my mowing time short (pun definitely intended).

Now, my grass is two, and in some areas, three times the size of the mower itself and pushing the damn thing feels like I’m doing weighted sled sprints at the gym.

Part of me is cool with this and mentally adds a tally to the workout column for the day.

But, the other part of me sighs in frustration because I know that this is what happens when you procrastinate.

Getting the job done on a regular mowing day is no problem. Sometimes even therapeutic.

Waiting to get the job done past that ideal mowing day doesn’t just add to the challenge of the mowing… it multiplies the challenge.

And the same is true with so many of the things in life that we’d be much better off doing in regular, well-timed intervals rather than in a singular, herculean interval done once every when I feel like it.

A little bit done often, is oftentimes much more effective than a lotta bit done too late.

Having a hard time building self-discipline?

Commit to building discipline first.

Join a class, enroll in a course, get a coach, etc., where you’re simply told what to do and you can focus on getting really damn good at doing what you’re told—regardless of how much you don’t want to do whatever that is (in a constructive, healthy, held-accountable way).

Do your research, of course, and don’t settle until you come to an arrangement that’s aligned with your personality type and preferences; one that’s with a person or a group you respect.

Once you do (and this is the key), make the conscious choice to replace the words that come from your ego with the words that come from this new source. In other words, don’t let your inner voice talk you out of doing what you’re told to do.

Because it’s that inner voice—your ego—that’s precisely the problem.

The path is this: discipline leads to self-discipline which leads to habits.

Flex the “do-it-even-when-you-don’t-want-to-do-it” muscle enough and eventually, it’ll be strong enough for you to flex on your own. Flex it on your own enough and eventually, it’ll become an automatic type of response that your ego slowly stops fighting you over.

This is the way.

P.s. Not sure where to start? Try enrolling in a local martial arts class. The discipline I build in martial arts became the foundation for all of the “automatic” type habits I have in my life.