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Category: Living Well

Keep On Playing

Published on January 21, 2025

One of my young employees told me yesterday that he’s not sure he wants to be a martial arts instructor when he gets older because he feels a pull towards science.

“…You’re 14,” I told him.

And then proceed to say something along the lines of: Of course you’re not sure what you want to do when you grow up. To think you should know what you want to do for a living at 14 is crazy. And anyone who tells you or makes you think you should know that by 14 is crazy.

…Lean into your interests. If you feel a pull, follow up. But, keep your doors open. You just don’t know how things will play out… the key, I think, is to just keep on playing.

And this is advice that I think is as true at 35 as it is at 14 as it is at 44 as it is at 76.

We aren’t carved from rocks. We’re constantly flowing as a river.

I’ve been surprising myself lately with my sudden interest in music—something I’ve never really been drawn to… and I’m 35. My current plan is to play around with it and see how it plays out.

…Advice I’d pass along to you if you’re feeling any sudden pulls in life, too.

The Job Of The Teacher

Published on January 20, 2025

“The job of the teacher is to create the conditions for the student to explore their incompetence long enough to learn something useful.”

Seth Godin

The job of the teacher isn’t to make the student feel bad about their incompetence. Nor is it their job to paint incompetence as a kind of failure. And it’s definitely not about creating conditions where the student feels worse about their incompetence than when they started.

The job of the teacher, as Seth outlines above (and is worth stating again), is to create the conditions for the student to explore their incompetence long enough to learn something useful.

The job of the teacher is to spark a curiosity about an incompetence and show the student where competence could lead them. The job of the teacher is to make the student feel safe, seen, and heard and create the type of environment that allows for experimentation, mistakes, and expression (for growth isn’t possible without them). The job of the teacher is to inspire the student to want to come back to another session after each one is finished—to be future focused and not overly zealous at the current one.

And whether you want to admit it or not—what all of us need to come to terms with is—we’re all teachers. And each of us is either helping those around us learn something useful… or we’re—either knowingly or unknowingly—facilitating incompetence.

…Who are the students in your life?

Temporary Status

Published on January 19, 2025

In victory, we remain humble… and hungry. Because victory is only a temporary status. And arrogance only makes it more so. Maybe even immediately so.

In defeat, we remain hungry… and humble. Because defeat is only a temporary status. And self-loathing only makes it less so. Maybe even permanently so.

Because most of all, the goal should always be to keep on playing. Because life is only a temporary status. And spectating only makes it feel more so. Maybe even unknowingly so.

P.s. ICYMI you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.

What To Do In The Calm Before The Storm

Published on January 17, 2025

Tomorrow there’s a black belt and higher degree test for almost 50 of my martial arts students.

Tonight, we had one final open workout.

At the end, I gathered them together and gave them three simple pieces of advice:

1. Drink lots of water. Hard physical performances are made proportionally harder based on how dehydrated our body is. And hydration doesn’t happen 20 minutes before a really hard physical performance… it happens 20 hours before.

2. Don’t forget electrolytes. Many of the students will be fasting prior to the test so this reminder is key. Without electrolytes our muscles won’t function properly and can oftentimes lead to cramps, spasms, less fine motor control, and general fatigue or dizziness. Electrolytes are the key to strong performances and can be consumed in a capsule.

3. Get as much rest as you can. The day before the test is not the day for hard practice. It’s the day to trust in your hard practice. It’s the day to take your mind off of the hard practice. It’s the day to appreciate all of the hard practice you’ve done and just allow your body to… soften.

…In the calm before the storm, we need to learn how to allow ourselves to be calm.

…So that when the storm comes, we can RAGE and give it our undeniable all.

The Customer Isn’t Always Right

Published on January 13, 2025

Another observation from meeting my sister’s favorite people yesterday…

They all met each other through work—as waitresses, hostesses, and bartenders at a local fine dining restaurant—and all commented on how much they loved their job versus other places they’ve worked.

When I asked them why they loved it so much, they all replied that it was the owner that made the difference.

He trusted them to do their job(s) and wouldn’t micromanage, was always fair and kind, and would always tell them that they were his top priority—not the customers.

And by focusing on his key people, of course, his key people were able to focus on the customers. When you hire the right people, wanting to succeed is a given… focusing on nurturing the absolute best environment possible and giving them the tools they need to succeed should be that hirer’s top priority from that point forward.

…Undermining them, spreading toxicity, and cutting out their legs—even if it’s what the customer wants—is not what the business needs.

On Not Wanting To Force Kids Who Want To Quit

Published on January 7, 2025

Having worked with kids for 20+ years as a Martial Arts Instructor and mentor, I’ve had my fair share of “They want to quit and I don’t want to force them to go…” conversations.

And at first glance, not wanting to force someone to do something sounds legit…

…Because the last thing we want is resentment and misery for all involved.

However, misery is rarely how students feel at the end of any class they attend.

In fact, students most often leave class feeling… great. They’re smiling, joyful, and proud because of that sense of accomplishment that comes from completing something hard.

…See what appears to be “unmotivated” on the surface is really just comfort zone talk deep down.

…It’s a desire to avoid work and do more play. To stay cozied up versus getting down and dirty with some exercise. To kick off the shoes and video game versus kicking some heavy bag’s butt.

And there’s no better example of this than what I see in myself.

…Do you know how many times I want to go to the gym? Zero.

…Do you know how often I try to find excuses not to go? Every time.

But, I still go.

…Why? Because I know the benefits. And I know that I’ve never regretted a workout completed.

And this is the difference we need to teach our kids.

Resistance before is natural and will always be present. And if there’s resentment after, then yes, maybe a deeper conversation is needed. But, if a better state is the typical byproduct? Then you know it’s not resentment that the kids will be building when you push them to go… it’s discipline.

Don’t Call Them New Year Resolutions…

Published on January 6, 2025

Got new year resolutions?

We all know most of them don’t last.

Here’s a test…

Instead of calling it a new year resolution, try calling whatever it is you’re trying to do (or not do) a new life commitment.

…Feel the difference?

For example: If exercising every day is your new year resolution… but, exercising every day as a new life commitment sounds too intimidating or hard… what are you really doing then?

Because the point of a resolution is to make a firm (and lasting) decision to do or not do something. And if you’re not prepared to carry your decision forward for life… then how long are you prepared to carry it forward for?

…Answer this question and you’ll see why most new year resolutions fail. Because most people are only prepared to carry their resolution forward for a short period of time.

Want to change this about yourself?

Easy. Try making your resolution easier and run it through the same test again.

Repeat until whatever it is you’re resolving to do (or not do) feels firm enough to last you a really long time. And then watch how your life slowly, but surely improves.

P.s. My habit building guide (30 meditations; 30 challenges; 30 illustrations) is on sale now ➜