Category: Living Well

Unconditional Good And Right

Published on May 5, 2025

Wanna know what’s more impressive than people showing up to the gym motivated to workout?

…People who show up who aren’t.

Wanna know what’s more impressive than people who do creative work when they’re inspired and excited?

…People who do that kind of work when they’re not.

Wanna know what’s more impressive than people who share successes, victories, and highlights?

…People who share failures, struggles, and lowlights (in a non-nagging, constructive light).

Wanna know what’s more impressive than the significant other who does cute things on birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries?

…The significant other who does cute things when it’s not.

Wanna know what’s more impressive than people who do community service and act in kindness to fulfill a requirement at their school or work?

…People who do that when it’s not.

Want to impress yourself and others more?

Do more of the things you know are good and right.

…When there’s not a condition behind it of any kind.

Invest More Into Building Soft Skills

Published on April 25, 2025

I can teach you martial arts… but I can’t teach you passion.

I can teach you how to teach… but I can’t teach you humor, warmth, and initiative.

I can teach you what to say when you make a call… but I can’t teach you to care about the person on the other line.

Sure, I might be able to say a few things about passion, humor, warmth, initiative, and care… but the thing about each of those is that they aren’t learned from the outside-in… they’re learned from the inside-out.

Meaning, you have to learn for yourself what ignites your passion, what tickles your humor, what warms your compassionate side, what makes you want to go above and beyond, and what makes you actually give a damn about the work you’re doing…

Because what it is for me isn’t the same as what it’ll be for you.

Martial arts? A block is a block and a strike is a strike—for both me and you.

Teaching? Pedagogy is pedagogy and subject matter is subject matter—for both me and you.

Following scripts? Reading from scripts is reading from scripts—for both me and you.

Learning hard skills is black-and-white. And the thing about black-and-white skills is that it’s black-and-white for everybody.

But soft skills? Soft skills are a giant gray spectrum. And what can really make you stand out in today’s overpopulated, hyper competitive, AI evolving world… is a higher landing on that giant gray spectrum.

…Invest more into building soft skills.

On Being Surrounded By Great Oaks vs Buried Seeds

Published on April 23, 2025

Most people are so busy with their own lives that they have no time to imagine the immense potential in others.

And so they simply live their busy life and wait for others to realize their own potential before they notice, hire, invest in, honor, or reward.

And sure, nobody should be more concerned with realizing another’s potential than their own.

But…

And this is a big but…

If you can zoom out from the busy madness of your own life and… notice, hire, invest in, honor, and reward the untapped, unrealized, unharnessed potential in those around you…?

…Not only will you create a sunlight on the buried seed of a plant effect—

…But you’ll start to see the quality and strength of the plants—people—increase around you.

Why? …Because plants (and people) grow only with and towards the sunlight.

…Having a hard time seeing the seeds around you? Of course you are—they’re buried.

Do what the sun does and shine down indiscriminately.

Double down on the ones that respond and peak through.

…Soon you’ll be surrounded by great oaks instead of buried seeds.

Don’t Let “Supposed To” Rob You Of Serendipity

Published on April 22, 2025

I’m learning to be more fluid… more flexible in my approach… more comfortable in the present… even when it overlaps with something I was “supposed” to do.

Because what I’m learning is that what I’m “supposed” to do—at least from an evolved perspective—is be where I am… in whatever form and shape that takes… as fluidly and as comfortably as possible.

Which is why it’s so important to be intentional and deliberate with planning and premeditating. It’s the person who isn’t aligned… isn’t where they’re supposed to be or doing what they’re supposed to be doing… who tightens up… becomes rigid… and crashes, bangs, and ricochets from one task, off the next, and into the one after that.

They aren’t able to be present because they’re never allowing themselves to be where they are. And the way that happens is by not figuring out where that is ahead of time. Which is one fault.

But a second fault, that’s just as important to consider, and is maybe more to my point, is they haven’t done enough reflection or inner work to recognize when moments of serendipity should supersede “supposed to” moments.

…Because there are definitely some moments that are made easier when they’re planned, deliberate, and thought of ahead of time… but there are also unexpected, surprising, serendipitous moments that come up throughout our day that deserve our undivided attention and full presence.

…Today’s message is just that: don’t let your “supposed to” tasks rob you of serendipity—which should always be experienced undivided and in full.

It’s Never Coming Back

Published on April 14, 2025

There’s quite possibly going to be a day, at some point in the not so distant future, when you’re going to miss… the busyness.

A day when you’re maybe retired… kids are maybe grown up and living their own independent lives… spouse maybe isn’t around for one reason or another… and you’re sitting by yourself reflecting back on the days when, from morning to night, there was non-stop life.

When there was constant activity… emotional roller coasters… and never enough time to get it all done.

And you’ll be thinking about that while sitting in a living room chair… maybe eating a meal… wondering where all the life activity went.

Today, maybe try and appreciate the busyness of your day for what it is: life being lived. The very life you’re going to reflect back on at some point in your not so distant future. The very life you’re unknowingly rushing fast forward through towards a point that’s going to make you want to come right back.

Today, maybe try being here… with us… right now…

It’s never coming back.

Anything Forced Will Fail

Published on April 12, 2025

I had a long talk with a student today about a plateau she was experiencing in her health and fitness journey.

The short of it was that she couldn’t figure out what to do next to continue making progress. Every idea she would mention, she would talk herself out of in the same breath. The things she had done in the past, didn’t feel like they would work again. And the things that she was leaning towards to try, felt clunky and out of place in her lifestyle…

And she was exactly right to feel confused because everything she was trying to do felt—both to her and me—forced.

…Like some alien habit idea that would be transplanted into her lifestyle that she’d awkwardly have to remember and reinforce until it somehow became second nature and unconscious.

…This isn’t how habit change works.

What we discussed was aligning with something that’s already integrated into her lifestyle and building slightly on that. For example, instead of trying to add a random 15-minute weight lifting session somewhere into her day… maybe she starts a new habit of staying after her normal martial arts classes that she already takes 2x per week (and has been for 2+ years), and does a little extra strengthening, stretching, or conditioning work?

Or instead of trying to not eat sweets at all anymore (yeah, right)… figuring out what the healthiest dessert-like thing for her was… and preemptively eating that at the end of a day—knowing the cravings are coming and attacking them head on…

The bottom line is: anything forced will fail.

Align with current habits… align with momentum… align with yourself.

Better By Design

Published on April 12, 2025

Tilt your car’s rear view mirror up a bit higher than what’s comfortable… it’ll force you to straighten your posture whenever you go to look into it.

Put a sticky note in the center of one of your commonly used home mirrors that says a message you want to internalize… e.g. “You look great.” or “Be here.” or “Life is too short.”

Buy a chair that doesn’t have a back, where the seat is angled down slightly and there’s a pad for your knees… whenever you sit to work, slouching and hunching will no longer be options.

Add labels to the timers on your phone to remind you of the “real” reason behind it going off. e.g. Instead of a 6:00am alarm, add a label that says, “The Only ‘You’ Time Of The Day” or a 5:00pm alarm that says, “Family Time Starts Now.”

Get a dog. You will never have a better accountability system to go for walks. And walks make just about everything better almost every time you take them.

The best way to make long term changes is with enough short term feedback. Set yourself up for success by making your environment better by design.