Is the suffering worth the contribution?
I have this question sticky-noted at the bottom of my computer screen so that I read it every day.
And whenever I feel like I’m suffering from the work I’m choosing to do… I ask myself… Is it worth the contribution it provides?
If the answer is no, I stop doing it. Or begin to plan ways I can phase it out of my life (whatever “it” is).
And if the answer is yes, well then, I suffer a little less and feel better as I get back to it.
First of all, I’m in camp: comparison is at the root of all unhappiness.
However, there is a comparison sweet spot that can be healthy and motivational.
The modern day dilemma is that most of the comparison that happens in our digital, ever-connected lives is with people who are in completely different leagues than us.
Why? Because it’s the best in the game—across all domains—who get the most view time on media platforms.
It’s the most fit athletes, the most attractive influencers, the most witty entertainers, the most successful business people, the most risky stunts people, etc. who capture and keep the most attention.
It only makes sense.
What we need to be conscious of is when it doesn’t make sense for us and our mental health.
And when it doesn’t make sense is when we’re aspiring to be more fit and we’re comparing ourselves to the million follower athlete. Or when we’re an aspiring side hustler and we’re comparing ourselves to the full-time, six-figure, media-empire-content-creator. Or when we’re an aspiring writer and we’re comparing ourselves to Stephen King.
See, nothing squashes motivation faster than putting yourself up against somebody who you know you don’t stand a chance against.
Where the motivation scales tip in our favor, however, is when we compare ourselves to people who are only a few steps ahead of us; people who we feel we have a chance against; people who, with a little more work, we might catch.
We don’t become a pro right out of the gate. We get really good at the amateur level and work our way up—slowly. The same should be strictly followed in our digital lives, too.
The inner work we choose to avoid becomes the outer suffering we can’t seem to escape.
As hard as it might seem upfront, it’s the easiest it’ll ever be to confront right then and there.
The things we carry with us only get heavier the longer we carry them.
P.s. How Heavy Is This Glass Of Water? A Short Story About Stress and Compartmentalizing.
Do not think that today will come without challenges.
To think so would be naive and in contradiction to the countless challenging days that have come before.
No.
Instead, think that today’s challenges will be met with the inner strength, resilience, and resolve that has helped you overcome the endless list of the challenges that have come at you before.
And with this… head into your day with your posture straight, mindset ready, and smile on for whichever sorry challenge makes its way onto your path first.
Because onto that endless list it too shall go.
P.s. I’m giving away the first 3 meditations from my new guide away for free to anyone who shares it—on social media or wherever. If this is you and I missed you, reply to this email and I’ll send them to you asap! And if you don’t really do social media, reply and I’ll send them to you anyway :)
Comparison is the root of so much suffering in our lives.
And social media is the root of so much comparison in our lives.
Those who are aware of this—and take actions to mitigate it—know the secret to suffocating and starving the roots of suffering from their lives.
P.s. I also published 28 Timeless Morrie Schwartz Quotes from Tuesdays With Morrie today.
Suffering is an internal state.
And you’ll never be able to outrun what’s inside.
In fact, the longer you try running from suffering the more time it’ll have to build strength and the more tired you’ll ultimately become.
The way towards healing isn’t running—no.
The way towards healing is stopping.
…And looking at the suffering; sitting with it; inquiring into its existence—understanding the suffering (that never just arbitrarily arrives).
And then slowly, slowly—rebuilding your strength while you drain it of its own.
Until eventually you can turn suffering into softness that you can then mold like clay and let go of like art.
The First Noble Truth: life is suffering.
The reality of life that we have to accept is that there will always be suffering present in some way/ shape/ form.
The Second Noble Truth: we can identify the causes of our suffering.
When your heart is broken or you’re diagnosed with a disease or illness, identifying the source of your suffering is relatively straightforward.
When we’re children, however, we tend to bury or distract ourselves from the pain because we don’t know how to properly manage it. And this behavior often carries over into adulthood.
It isn’t always obvious from where our pain originates. But, with patience, grace and care—we can identify our pain’s root causes.
The Third Noble Truth: we can put an end to our suffering and healing is possible.
Healing is possible.
The key is to mindfully sort through what’s outside of our control (what happened in our past) and to act on what’s within our control (our choices today).
The Fourth Noble Truth: there are paths to free us from suffering.
These paths are different for each of us. But, many of them contain the following:
And just like healing is possible, so is perpetual suffering.
If we don’t accept the second noble truth, we won’t reach the third. And without the third, we won’t reach the fourth.
Take your journey towards healing at your own pace—but, keep moving forward on the path. Think tortoise—not hare.
And transform your suffering into a new, better reality—one deliberate, brave choice at a time.