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6 Out Of 10

I taught a Women’s Self-Defense class this past Wednesday.

It’s a free event designed to equip, empower, and prepare the women of our community to protect themselves against bigger, stronger, and faster assailants.

I’ll teach fundamental self-defense strategies, effective strikes from a variety of positions, and how to properly respond against chokes, grabs, bear hugs, etc—all while being surrounded by a respectful, uplifting community of supportive women.

I’ve been leading this session for years and have settled (remember this word) into a curriculum that I feel really good about.

At the end of this past week’s session, I handed out anonymous feedback forms where participants can rate the class on a scale of 1-10 and provide written feedback on what they liked, didn’t like, and what they would’ve liked to do more/less of.

Most of the reviews I’ve gotten since starting these forms have been 10s with the occasional 9. One person, however, after this past session rated it a 6 out of 10.

And here’s what I noticed in myself after seeing that:

  1. A defensive/emotional mental rise: how could they have given that session a 6 out of 10?!
  2. A deliberate attempt to forget about that rating—as if it wasn’t submitted.
  3. A bubbling back up of the rating in my mind every so often, unconsciously.
  4. An acceptance with the rating once I calmed down and put it into perspective.
  5. Active brainstorming on what I’m going to do differently/better for the next one.

…And it’s that last line that’s so key.

Beneath the emotional responses are buried opportunities. Opportunities that, if discovered with enough patience and deliberate inner work, can (finally) take you from “settled” to still evolving.

Sandra Cisneros on The Creative Process

“If I can get to a place of pure love, I can tap into a channel where I become a medium… a sort of mouthpiece of stories, and voices, and ideas from all that I’ve ever seen and heard… I just need to get out of my own way.”

Sandra Cisneros

Last night, I attended a live talk given by bestselling author, Sandra Cisneros.

When discussing her creative process, she shared the absolute dime of a line above. And this is 100% what the creative process is about:

1. Getting out of your own way. This includes insulating your mind from the screens, dings, and distractions; taming it with proper routines in ideal environments and with focus enhancers; and investing in inner work that mitigates self-limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging behavior, and all of the natural human resistance that accompanies doing meaningful, creative work.

2. Becoming a medium. You’ll only ever be able to share a composition of what you’ve ever experienced. And when you can truly get out of your own way and open up that channel that taps into the ocean of life experiences that’s deep within, it’s almost as though the work expresses itself. This is the highest level of creation. Creation that’s free of ego… that isn’t concerned with what an audience thinks, what the ROI might be, how “good” or “bad” it might be… that’s simply flowing from somewhere deep within that is a pure manifestation of the Self.

3. And how do you tap into that channel…? By entering into a place of pure love. And anything that isn’t that, well, becomes something that falls into bullet point #1 from above and should be treated accordingly.

    The 60 Second Difference

    A mom from the martial arts school I teach at shared a story with me the other day of another instructor and her son (6 years old) that she was really touched by.

    She told me her son promised this instructor that he would show him his baseball cards.

    …And as they were loading up into the car after having already finished class, her son remembered his promise and asked his mom if they could go back. His mom told him they could always show him next time, but her son persisted. And she eventually relented.

    When they got back inside, he proudly took his cards up to this instructor and stood in his sight, ready to show and be seen.

    And rather than take a quick glance and give a quick high five or rush through the impromptu show and tell presentation, this instructor knelt down next to him and patiently looked at each of his 30ish cards, one card at a time, as he slowly flipped through.

    …What’s more is that his mom said her son didn’t even say anything about any of them. He just silently thumbed through each as the instructor silently and attentively looked on.

    And it proved to her son that what he felt was important was also important to the instructor because of the energy and intention he was met with. And the situation went from what could’ve been a superficial, non-meaningful exchange to a special moment that legitimately strengthened a bond.

    …And the difference couldn’t have been made by anything more than 60 seconds.

    Stepping Into Your Power

    “Without resistance to what it is, you’ll feel more in your power.”

    …This is a line my friend Nat shared with me when discussing the power of connecting to the present moment and what it can do for your mentality and ability to act—especially during turbulent times filled with change.

    How often do we step out of our power, simply because we’re self-sabotaging?

    How often do we minimize what we’re able to do because of self-limiting, junk beliefs?

    How often do we unknowingly increase the resistance in our lives by arguing against reality and unnecessarily exacerbate situations?

    Reality is what it is. It’s unchangeable in this moment. Once you accept this and reallocate your mental resources from what’s out of your control to what’s in… and settle yourself back into the present moment… you just might find yourself, not only stepping into your next moments with less resistance, but into your full power as an infinitely-potentialed human being.


    Related: 48 Brianna Wiest Quotes from The Mountain Is You on Self-Sabotage and Healing

    Put A Carrot Into Your Future

    If your days are dragging by and you regularly feel a sense of misery swelling up within the confines of your day, do yourself a favor and put a carrot into your future.

    You know, like a concert or a spa day or a cabin reservation or a flight to a beach or roadtrip with a friend.

    Being pulled forward towards something you’re really looking forward to is a much better way forward than trying to force yourself forward by smacking yourself with a stick (or metaphorically getting smacked by a stick from someone else) whenever you need a push in life.

    Martial Arts At 63…

    I had a 63 year old women sign up for Martial Arts classes last week on Monday.

    Today, she came back in and told me that it took her until Friday to fully recover from that Monday’s training session. Not because it was inappropriately intense or without proper modifications for her level… but because she had been taking care of a sick family member for years and hadn’t really exercised or stretched or done anything for herself throughout that time.

    When I asked her how she felt about the coming class and if there was anything I could do to make it better for her she shook her head and said plainly that her new goal was to recover by Thursday after taking a Monday session.

    And y’all… I cried a little bit inside.


    P.s. I also published: The 10 Rules of Ikigai (for a Longer and Happier Life) + 6 Bonus Quotes from The Book

    Gratitude Notes

    Some gratitude notes from the past few days:

    • The temperature has been nearly perfect here in Buffalo, NY, USA. Now that it’s autumn, it drops to a cool 50 degrees (Fahrenheit) at night for sleeping and then warms back up to a beautiful 70 during the day for living. This is my absolute favorite weather of the year.
    • I caught a whiff of fresh firewood being burned on one of the above mentioned cool nights recently. It nearly lifted me off the face of the earth it was so heavenly.
    • One of my students shared with me that he works overnights from 11pm – 7am… and that he hates it and hasn’t been sleeping because of it. I sometimes find myself complaining about my work hours… but, after that spoonful of perspective… I suddenly felt super grateful for them.

    It’s good to refresh your gratitude list every now and again—with specific things you’ve noticed in your life as of late. And writing them down makes the practice even better.

    What are some gratitude notes from some of your past few days?


    P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what was posted to MoveMe Quotes last week here.