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Category: Archives

The full collection of explorations.

To All The “Rocks” Out There

Published on July 27, 2021

To all those who act as a”rock” for others in their lives—thank you.

Being a rock in the middle of a raging river is never easy.

And many times, it can feel like a thankless job.

People spew their problems, burdens, and drama onto those who they consider their “rock” so they can slow the rage that’s going on in their mind.

And once they get it all out, they slowly maneuver their exit, rejoin the raging river, and only return when the rage is, yet again, too much for them to handle.

And that’s okay.

Keep being the rock.

Keep yourself grounded into the riverbed. Keep doing what’s hard and stay true to the rock’s course: here. Present. Undisturbed by what’s rushing and immediate. Focused on bringing calm and ease to the raging world all around.

Joining the ever increasing speed of the river and raging with the rest is tempting—it’s the path of the many. Being the rock is the choice and the gift given to us by the few.

The world doesn’t need any help speeding up. It needs help slowing down. And that’s precisely what the rocks in the world do. And for that, and once again, I thank you.

Strengthening A Weakness Or Weakening A Strength?

Published on July 26, 2021

Creatives are good at creating; marketers are good at marketing; managers are good at managing.

When creatives realize they need to market their creations—they might try to learn the skills of a marketer.

When marketers realize they could profit more from their own creations—they might try to learn the skills of a creative.

And sometimes, the creative or the marketer might even decide to start and manage their own business where they must learn the skills of the creative, the marker, and the manager.

Here’s what you need to ask yourself: is the time I’m investing in learning how to improve upon my weaker areas as beneficial as the time I could be investing in tripling down on my strengths? Would I be better off teaming up with someone whose strengths compliment my weaknesses?

When you seek to strengthen a weakness, be careful you don’t end up weakening a strength.

It’s Not The Axe’s Fault

Published on July 24, 2021

Not needing anybody to motivate you is one of the most liberating feelings in the world.

  • You get to exercise—without needing a trainer, accountability partner, or motivational video.
  • You get to eat clean—without needing a meal-planner, slap from a loved one, or body goals video.
  • You get to work—without needing external incentives, pushes from your peers, or threats from your boss.

Having self-motivation saves time, money, and energy.

But, it also takes time, money, and energy—particularly at the outset. At the times when all you want to do is utilize the motivation that can be taken from surrounding external sources. When all you want to do is dive in while you’re hot.

But, here’s the trick: you have to resist that urge.

The same way the lumberjack must resist the urge to chop the tree with a dull axe.

See, most people just grab the axe and start hacking away. And they burn themselves out, fail to make much progress, and curse the axe for not being good enough.

When what’s really required isn’t hacking—but sharpening.

When you take the time required to sharpen the mind and internalize principles that are intrinsically motivating, you’ll be free of the external needs altogether.

And you’ll start chopping through days worth of trees while everybody else is still cursing their axe.

The Real Reason For Your Stuck-ness

Published on July 23, 2021

When stuck, most people will blame circumstance.

But, what’s really holding them in place is what they believe to be true about those circumstances.

  • I can’t lose weight because I was born with an awful metabolism (blaming circumstance). Underlying belief: I’m the type of person who can’t lose weight.
  • I have awful anxiety because of how I was raised (blaming circumstance). Underlying belief: I deserve to have awful anxiety.
  • I’m going to be single forever because whenever I open up to people, I get hurt (blaming circumstances). Underlying belief: No relationship will ever honor my vulnerability.

Your beliefs are the real source of your stuck-ness.

Change your beliefs and you’ll finally be able to change your scenery.

If You Want To Change How You Act—Start Here…

Published on July 22, 2021

We think—then we feel—then we act.

Even when we think we act before we think or feel—we don’t.

We simply act really quickly in response to something we think and then feel.

Like when you get cut off in traffic. You don’t just act without a thought or feeling.

You just go from, “What are you doing you idiot?!?!” to feeling threatened to responding with road rage in what feels like a thoughtless snap.

Because that’s the response you’ve spent the most time training. Every time someone cut you off, right from the very beginning, that was the thought, feeling, action sequence that you practiced. And so it became a habit. So much so, that it feels thoughtless to you.

But it’s not. And it can be changed. Just like any other bad habit.

But first, you have to change how you think about those bad habits.

Rather than,“What are you doing you idiot?!?!” think, “Wow, I’m so thankful for my reaction time—this person obviously didn’t know what they were doing.” And let that lead to feeling proud of yourself for your awareness/ reaction time. And let that lead to a heightened sense of gratitude rather than road rage.

So long as you continue to think of the drivers around you as idiots, the feelings of being threatened will continue to emerge, and the response will continue to be road rage.

If you want to change how you act, change how you think, first.

Make What’s Hard, Easier

Published on July 21, 2021

Writing a book is hard. Writing one sentence is easy.

Earning a black belt in martial arts is hard. Attending one class is easy.

Freeing yourself from the grips of anxiety is hard. Meditating for a few minutes is easy.

Everything in life that’s hard, is just a series of things that are easy.

You just have to break things down further and take the first, small step.

And then take it again. And again. Until you’ve done what’s hard.

Drop And Give Me 20!

Published on July 20, 2021

When I was a Martial Arts student, my teachers would give the entire class push-ups for the wrong-doings of a single student.

I hated being punished for things I didn’t do that were also out of my control. It made me resent them in many cases.

So, I resolved to never do that to a class when I became a teacher (Yes, I knew I wanted to be a Martial Arts teacher long before I ever was).

Now, the motto that I have worked tirelessly to embody is praise publicly, reprimand privately.

No longer is the attention of the class pointed towards the students’ wrongdoing—now it’s pointed towards the students who are doing things right. And the students who are doing wrong get a private conversation from a more experienced instructor who can compassionately help them understand and change their behaviors.

Had I not felt that resentment and planted that seed in my mind when I was a student all those year ago, maybe I never would have felt the need to change that tradition when I was in front of a class (with misbehaving students) all those later years.

You can learn just as much from the people who do wrong by you as you can from the people who do right by you.

You just have to keep an open mind and learn how to channel your negative emotions rather than let your negative emotions become you.