The full collection of explorations.
Little wins I’m proud of today:
Little wins matter, too.
When someone needs help But, they aren't asking For the help they need Because they need help Asking for that kind of help I can't help but to hurt How to make sense Of what's helping too much And what's only going to hurt When hurt is what helps And help is what hurts It has to come from them But, what if it can't?
I like nonfiction.
I like self-improvement podcasts.
Heck, I like all things personal growth related.
But, sometimes…
I like blasting good music, thumb drumming, air guitaring, and forgetting about all of that.
It’s called balance.
Authenticity is about congruence between our deeper values and beliefs (i.e., a “true self”) and our actions.
via Chris Do, Twitter
Being authentic is hard when:
Because we live in a world that is constantly pushing its influence on us from every angle, it can be hard to figure out what it is that we actually think.
And without that clarity of thought, of course our actions are going to be misaligned.
Being authentic is easier when:
Until we choose to put up boundaries to block outside influences, we will continue to get pushed around and act in ways that are misaligned, unnatural, and confusing even to ourselves.
Boundaries to the outside world are precisely what’s needed to process, organize, and remix. It’s precisely how we settle our mudded minds. It’s precisely how we quiet the ego so we can hear the whisper of our Self.
In short: being authentic is hard when you let the world tell you who you are. Being authentic is easier when you listen to your Self, decide who you want to be, and tell the world who you are.
And while the latter can challenging in its own respect, it will always be exponentially easier than living an inauthentic life.
In today’s media driven world, there’s a ton of pressure to grow personal media accounts.
Which isn’t surprising because if what everybody is talking about is their favorite influencers, viral content, and follower counts—then, of course that’s what’s going to be at the top of everybody’s minds.
But, never let vanity growth take priority over interpersonal growth.
Like, when you feel obligated to consume all of your favorite creators new content, to post x new items to your socials, and to get that big project done for more revenue—but haven’t done anything for yourself…
…That’s a problem.
Maybe not immediately because maybe you can pull it off.
But, long-term? It will be. Because an absence of personal growth indicates a presence of personal atrophy.
And personal atrophy can only be hidden behind creative marketing for so long.
Eventually, people see through the shiny packaging and absorb the raw content for what it is.
And if what it is is regressing, then it won’t be long before they move to a different place where there is growth.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to influence more people or make more money.
There is something wrong with prioritizing those things at the expense of your interpersonal needs.
And not just because, you know, mental health, but because interpersonal growth IS the means to any worthwhile/ meaningful vanity growth.
So, remember, when you only have time to do one or the other, doing something for yourself should always get the priority.
Even when vanity growth seems to be the only thing everybody else is concerned about.
**Especially when.
The more of these inner contradictions that you behold (whether you consciously realize them or not), the more uneasy and conflicted you will feel towards yourself. And the more in alignment your beliefs and actions are, the more at ease and at peace you will feel.
Honest living happens when what you do aligns with what you believe.
And the byproduct of honest living is inner peace.
You can only help in so far as you are strong.
Those who never build their own strength remain weak—and their ability to help others remains weak, too.
Imagine a person who has never lifted a weight running around a gym, giving people 20 minute lectures on how to lift weights.
Now imagine a jacked person who is usually quietly focused in the corner walking over to you and offering you a quick, 20 second correction on your form.
Which would you prefer—the 20 minutes or the 20 seconds?
Of course you’d prefer the 20 seconds.
Because the advice is coming from a place of strength.
And in order to build that strength, what did the jacked person have to do?
Avoid running around the gym giving people 20 minute lectures on how to lift weights and focus on him/herself!
This is the oxymoron of helping others. You can only help others better when you become better. And the only way to become better is to focus on yourself—and occasionally ignore the never-ending call to help others.
Don’t run around offering help to people if you haven’t spent time helping yourself.
Quietly stay focused in your corner until you’ve reached your point of being full.
Then, pour from your full cup the full strength of your advice.