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Category: Archives

The full collection of explorations.

Greatness Minus Fun

Published on September 30, 2024

I spoke to a very talented martial artist yesterday who quit competing and training altogether five years ago—when she was at her peak—because her coach was too hard on her and the process stopped being fun.

What a shame.

And what a great reminder to both coaches and competitors alike: winning isn’t everything. Because you can train your ass off, push your limits, and finish each session absolutely spent—in the name of the pursuit of greatness… but if it leads to you quitting… is there any bigger loss?

Now, can you achieve greatness without a healthy dose of the above mentioned items? Probably not. But, you know what else you can’t achieve greatness without? A healthy dose of fun and enjoyment for the process.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Connection Does

Published on September 28, 2024

Building connection is as building connection does.

There is no way around it. There is no hack. There is no shortcut.

If you want to build better connections with the people in your life, you need to do something about it.

Listing examples here should be helpful:

  • Rather than exchanging basic pleasantries with people, you need to be the one who digs a little deeper. Ask an interesting question. Give an interesting answer. Go deeper than, “What’s up?” or “Good, how are you?”
  • Rather than say you’re there for someone… show them you are. A text is better than nothing. But a bag full of thoughtful gifts to someone who is recovering from surgery is better than a text. Actions > Words.
  • Rather than suggest you and whoever do “something” “sometime”… be the one who makes the plans. Invite people out to specific dinner plans at specific times—and do it in advance. Invite people to trivia, karaoke nights, concerts, etc. Lock in dates and times and keep an eye out for fun ideas. Be the initiator.

The people who wait for people to connect with them… who try to use technology to do the connecting for them… who try and outsource the efforts and ideas… are the ones who end up getting disconnected.

And upon closer inspection… it should come as no surprise. But the good news is… neither should the solution.

Calm; Collected; Collaborated

Published on September 28, 2024

It is becoming increasingly evident to me, with each day I consciously focus on it, that problems are almost always made better with the following ingredients:

1. Calm. Unless there’s an emergency, I do my absolute best not to run, speed, rush, yell, or spiral. All of these are inside my control and when problems hit that are outside my control, controlling these things and maintaining a calm demeanor helps tremendously. Not only does it keep the mind clear and free of unnecessary chaos so that I can focus on coming up with a solution, but it stops the problem from becoming worse. Which is always the first thing you should do when you find yourself in a hole… stop digging.

2. Collected. Acting too quickly on problems without a full survey of the land often leads to wrong turns and major detours. Once you’ve calmed yourself down and are thinking more clearly, it’s essential to clearly identify the problem, trace it to the root of its cause, and brainstorm a complete list of possible solutions. Oftentimes knee jerk reactions turn into big pains in the butt.

    3. Collaborated. You’re never as smart alone as you are when you’re thinking with other trusted brains. It’s best to enter this stage after you’ve successfully managed to complete the previous two. Otherwise, “collaborated” often turns into vent session, cursing, and exacerbating the problem (causing you to dig a deeper hole). But, when you’re calm and collected and have a proper inventory of the problem and possible solutions… collaboration becomes a powerful equation that turns 1+1 into 3.

    The Wisdom In Anger

    Published on September 26, 2024

    During a martial arts endurance/spirit test, a student of mine had to step out and take a knee.

    He was only out and recovering for a minute or two and then came back and finished the test performing the best he could.

    The next morning, I got a text from him saying that he never slept that night. That he stared at the ceiling enraged at his performance. And that he kept replaying the situation over and over again.

    Shortly after receiving that text, as I was doing my daily quote curating for MMQ, I just so happened to stumble upon a line that I felt was meant for his eyes that just so happened to turn up in front of mine. It was: “Stay open to the wisdom of anger.”

    And this is exactly what I based my reply off of.

    I said, “There are no bad emotions. Only signals from inside hinting to you how you might move forward. Beating yourself up and punishing yourself isn’t going to do that. There is a wisdom in this anger that’s waiting to be tapped into. Channel it. Focus it. And use it as rocket fuel to help you take your next steps.”

    Ultimately, the point of an endurance/spirit test isn’t to push yourself until you pass out. It’s to expose you to something really hard so that you’re forced to look into the mirror at your inner self.

    …Because easy never gets you past superficial. It’s only when you push towards those outer limits—physically and mentally—that you get to see what you’re really made of… and can then (and only then) start to do something about it.

    RIP Aunt Mary

    Published on September 25, 2024

    My great aunt Mary passed away a few weeks ago.

    And the other day, a friend and I helped move furniture around and out of her stripped down apartment.

    It was weird to see how, within a matter of a few short weeks, everything she owned was either given away, sold, or trashed.

    Everything.

    From her apartment and car to her furniture and TVs to her clothes and jewelry.

    It was a reminder for me that we don’t really own anything in this life.

    Everything is merely being borrowed—even the things we pay for in full.

    And when it’s all said and done, what gets remembered and tallied isn’t the physical objects or dollar signs we leave behind… but, as my aunt so eloquently said at her funeral, it’s “Loving well that’s the best legacy of them all.”

    Today, let’s remember to love well.

    Work For Love

    Published on September 24, 2024

    People shouldn’t have to work for your love.

    Conditional love isn’t love at all. It’s manipulation.

    Your love should flow unconditionally to all those who are within the range of its overflow.

    …If they abuse this privilege, their access gets revoked. Simple as that.

    …And they have to work to regain access to you.

    But your love continues to flow.

    With or without them.

    Never forget: unconditional love does not mean unconditional tolerance.

    In fact, unconditional love is a sacred energy that should be protected at all costs. Even more so than the ways in which you protect the money in your life.

    For the value of money pales in comparison to the value of fully expressed and absorbed love.

    Hope All Is Well

    Published on September 23, 2024

    I’m used to people texting me with a specific question or ask or favor in mind.

    Which is why when I got a text today that said, “Hey, hope all is well”—it threw me off.

    …Because this is all that was sent.

    And it wasn’t from a family member or particularly close friend.

    Just a thoughtful individual who, as far as I could tell, wanted to express some warm thoughts.

    And after thinking about it, the fact that it threw me off made me feel guilty.

    Because if it wasn’t something I was used to getting, it’s probably because it wasn’t something I was used to sending. And it made me want to do a better job of expressing warm thoughts just because.

    Lord knows we could all use it.