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Category: Archives

The full collection of explorations.

Living With Courage

Published on June 10, 2023

Today, the Martial Arts Academy I teach at lead a group of students through their black belt and higher degree test.

At the end of the ceremony, some of the graduates were asked to share their thoughts, feelings, stories, and/or gratitude over the microphone to the audience.

One young girl shook me with her words when she said, “I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for this school because it’s where my mommy met my daddy.”

…As in, she literally wouldn’t be alive if that school hadn’t been opened because her parents would’ve likely never met and never would’ve, you know, had her.

But, they did meet. And they did have that precious little girl. And that little girl worked incredibly hard to earn her black belt and was filled with emotion at the weight of what that represented.

This, for me, is a wonderful reminder to live life with courage. To get out into the local world and try new things. Even if that means starting out at white belt when you’re already at a “black belt” level in many other areas of life. Where there aren’t screens separating us and where we’re able to meet like-minded people who are also committed to personal growth.

Because, as is illustrated so beautifully in this story… you just never know.

And what a shame it would be if it was a lack of courage that kept something beautiful like this from ever happening.

Time For Clarity

Published on June 9, 2023

Sitting in meditation can sometimes feel like a waste. Like you’re spending time doing nothing when you could be doing something. And resultantly can have opposite of the desired effect on anxiety.

Yet, I am reminded time and again how it is often one of the most productive things I do in my days. Not because of how much I’m getting done during that time—I’m literally sitting down and doing nothing. But, because of how much clarity and calm I’m gaining during that time.

Clarity and calm is highly underrated and wildly under-discussed in the productivity conversation. It’s on the days when I feel most busy, that I tend to forget the most (and make the most mistakes). And it’s on the days when I feel most calm that I feel most on top of things and effective.

Just the other day, in a simple 15 minute zazen meditation session I:

  • Had a blog post idea arise
  • Remembered a person I needed to reach out to
  • Had an flow for an upcoming martial arts demonstration come to mind…

This, however, wasn’t the point of the meditation—don’t misunderstand what I’m saying.

The point isn’t to have blog ideas, remember people, and get things organized on your to-do list. The point is clarity… so that you settle the mudded busyness that wreaks havoc on our mind and can be more deliberate and focused in your approach when done. And in that instance, that’s what gaining clarity looked like for me.

Remember this: if you don’t have time for clarity… then you’d better make time for mistakes. Because that’s exactly what’s coming when you don’t give your mind time to settle.

Your Problems

Published on June 8, 2023

It’s the news’ job to make the world’s problems your problems.

Watch too much news and it’s no wonder you feel crippling fear, uncontrollable anxiety, and hopelessness. You are one person absorbing the problems intermittently faced by 8 billion.

No single person can face a volume of problems the size of the ocean and expect to come out afloat—let alone like they can have any kind of reasonable influence on it all.

The ceaseless influx is soul crushing. The sheer volume is paralyzing. And the overarching theme of it all is terrifying.

Hardwired into our brains is a survival instinct that watches keenly for any signs of danger—so we can safely navigate our environments and not, you know, die.

Well, the news is the channel that satisfies that instinct and gives us the sense that we better know our environment and can more safely navigate it. Only we’re getting WAY TOO MUCH information. A lot of which is exaggerated, exacerbated, irrelevant, and straight up made up so as to generate more attention from viewers.

Here’s where I land in the realm of life’s problems: I can barely stay on top of my own damn chores.

My advice? Turn off the news of 8 billion.

Come up with a solution that’s concise—no more than 5 minutes per day. Unbiased. And get the rest of your news from your immediate environment—friends, family, co-workers, etc.

Make it your job to make your world’s problems your problems.

…And focus most exclusively on doing something good in your own backyard every day.

P.s. My choice for concise, unbiased, 5-minute daily news is 1440.

Sacred Spaces

Published on June 7, 2023

“I have to draw a boundary with my mom.”

…A friend was telling me apprehensively as we finished a morning run.

“She’s trying to come with me to yoga class at my yoga studio—which is something I would love for her to get into—but that’s my sacred space.”

To which I replied… “You’re absolutely right.”

It doesn’t matter who the person is or how important they are in your life—your mom, your sibling, your spouse—there are some things you simply need to do for yourself which sometimes need to be done by yourself.

Period.

Because you know who’s more important than your mom, your sibling, or your spouse?

…You are.

And if you don’t recognize that and prioritize things in your life that make you feel collected/calm/sane—then it’s the very people who you’re prioritizing over yourself who’ll experience the adverse effects of that. Pretty backwards, eh?

So if there are spaces that need to be held sacred so you can have necessary releases in your practice? Then you hold those spaces sacred.

If there are activities you’re doing that allow you to express and connect in a way that’s disrupted by the presence of others? Then you draw that boundary.

If your mental health and sanity is telling you that you need to do a thing for your mental health and sanity—then it’s your loved ones, more than anyone else, who should understand and support you. Not object, take offense, and make you feel bad.

The relationship we have with ourself needs to count. It deserves to be prioritized. And like any relationship, it requires dedicated time. Never feel bad about giving yourself time.

Inner Work Pays

Published on June 6, 2023

I have no idea how many people actually read these daily posts.

This would distract me from the purpose of the practice.

Which, isn’t to say I wouldn’t like it if more people read my daily posts.

It’s to say that the audience is secondary.

Writing for the sake of writing—for my own reflective purposes and personal development—is primary.

The second I start writing for the audience first, it’s no longer inner work—the task suddenly becomes outer work.

And while it’s true that outer work can pay in attention and dollars… it’s the inner work that pays in fulfillment and clarity.

Remember this as you practice your craft. If it suddenly feels like it’s becoming laborious and forced—it’s because you’re creating with the wrong people in mind.

Create with only one person in mind—yourself—and watch as the weight dissolves off your shoulders and your muse begins to visit more freely once again.

Linger (IRL) Longer

Published on June 5, 2023

You know those moments that come before a group meal when everybody is lingering? Or after it’s over and everybody sort of diffuses into pocket conversations and side chatter?

That is where the magic of connection happens.

…Not when everybody is actively eating the meal. It’s in the moments that come before, the moments in between bites, and the moments after. In many respects, group meals have less to do with the meal and more to do with the lingering.

The same is true for just about every other group activity: group fitness, group sports, group art, group travel, group hobbies, etc. Of course, the group task is the focal point—but, most tasks can be done without the group. The point in doing it with a group is the connection.

Which may sound obvious, but in a world where loneliness is becoming more and more of a concern—there are two key ideas worth pinpointing:

(1) We do group activities for the group as much as the activity—you don’t have to be a prodigy or obsessed with the idea of the activity to sign up with a group.

(2) All of the time spent NOT doing the activity can be just as valuable (if not more) as the time spend doing it. Don’t miss the forest for the tree. Are you learning how to draw an eye in group art classes or are you learning how to draw a friendship by looking more people—who share similar interests as you—in the eye?

Lingering on screens is awful for connection. More and more studies prove that. Lingering in real life, however, is a great strategy for building connection.

You Say [Poem]

Published on June 4, 2023 
You say you have nothing to give
and yet
I'm full after one glance.

You say you're rough around the edges
and yet
I'm calm after one touch.

You say your roots are broken
but what I see
is vast and barren land.

You say your baggage is heavy
but what I see
is love that could use a hand.

You tell me about the world's ugly
As I sit in wonder and see
Beauty reflected in broken glass—

Your middle finger to the world.

A rose growing in desert sand
An orchid sprouting from molten rock
A sunflower stretching from unlit cave

You say you can't carry on
And yet
You keep figuring out a way.

You say you don't like flowers
And yet
There you are—a most beautiful bouquet.