How does the transition from friend to “part of my chosen family” happen?
Is it sudden or gradually?
I think a case could be made for both instances.
But, one thing I observed tonight at my friend’s dad’s celebration of life is that there are key moments where the transition is undoubtedly solidified.
Like when my friend’s employee made the extra effort to fly from Florida to New York just to be there.
Or when a young women I met, after having met my friend and his girlfriend at a restaurant they attended frequently as their waitress and who slowly became their friend, spent time alone in the hospital with my friend’s dad right before he passed—just to bust his chops (as she always did) and maybe lift his spirit.
Or even as I noticed the way my friend was talking to me throughout the night… in how it felt like his gratitude and conversational points were coming from a much deeper place than they normally would.
The point to reflect on is this: if you only ever meet people when it’s fun, light-hearted, and convenient… you’ll only ever get so close. But, if you meet people as a family member would… through the good times and the bad; when it’s sunny and when it’s rainy; when it’s convenient and when it’s not… it’s only a matter of time before family is how people start to perceive you.
P.s. Day 4: Took an extra few minutes to express just how beautifully done the celebration of life was for my friend’s dad.