Self-worth isn’t something you find in another person.
Self-worth is something you find in your-self.
You might find borrowed validation, temporary belonging, and fleeting feelings of encouragement from others.
But, once that fades or situations change, you’ll be left feeling unworthy and craving those external sources all over again—they become a crutch.
This isn’t to say that external sources of validation, encouragement, and belonging aren’t useful. They most certainly are—especially at the earliest stages of our development when we’re trying to figure out who we are and how to act.
But, there needs to be a point where we move from being dependent on them, to being independent and able to create our own feelings of validation, encouragement, and belonging.
And everlasting, self-sustaining sources of self-worth come from a careful, deliberate, internal watering of the seeds of our identity. It comes from the inner work where we confront the question of who we are (or who we are not) and all of the associated questions that piggyback with it.
And with the help of others, inner work, and enough time—our roots will eventually entrench themselves deep enough into our mind’s soil so that the trunk and branches of our identity will be able to reach freely towards the heavens without any need of crutches or support from anything else.
But, without the inner work—without the work we do our-self—we will be forever tied to the crutches that were only there for temporary support and those external sources of strength will become one of our biggest sources of inner weakness.