Building connection is as building connection does.
There is no way around it. There is no hack. There is no shortcut.
If you want to build better connections with the people in your life, you need to do something about it.
Listing examples here should be helpful:
- Rather than exchanging basic pleasantries with people, you need to be the one who digs a little deeper. Ask an interesting question. Give an interesting answer. Go deeper than, “What’s up?” or “Good, how are you?”
- Rather than say you’re there for someone… show them you are. A text is better than nothing. But a bag full of thoughtful gifts to someone who is recovering from surgery is better than a text. Actions > Words.
- Rather than suggest you and whoever do “something” “sometime”… be the one who makes the plans. Invite people out to specific dinner plans at specific times—and do it in advance. Invite people to trivia, karaoke nights, concerts, etc. Lock in dates and times and keep an eye out for fun ideas. Be the initiator.
The people who wait for people to connect with them… who try to use technology to do the connecting for them… who try and outsource the efforts and ideas… are the ones who end up getting disconnected.
And upon closer inspection… it should come as no surprise. But the good news is… neither should the solution.