Month: June 2023

The Almonds Guy

Published on June 22, 2023

I’ll never forget the day I met The Almonds Guy.

There I was, a young and dumb teenager, out partying with my young and dumb teenager friends, in the middle of some local woods, doing young and dumb teenager stuff, when all of a sudden…

This guy walks onto the scene.

…Not too much older than us—early college maybe. Built. Wearing a football jersey that struggled to fit his biceps (which were the size of my head), who was casually eating from a can of… almonds.

Now, mind you—there were a lot of young and dumb teenagers on scene… maybe 30+. And all of them looked just as young and dumb as the next. But, this guy? …He stood out.

He wasn’t drinking. He wasn’t smoking. He wasn’t there for any of it. He was just roaming, laughing, connecting, and… getting his protein on.

I was completely captivated by it.

So, naturally, I stayed close and listened to this out-of-place figure speak what felt like his sermon. And at one point, somebody (finally) asked why he wasn’t partying like the rest… he smiled and said, “My body is my temple. And I treat it as such.”

I didn’t realize it at the time, but this hit me at my core. And later became an image I would base the image of my highest self around.

What’s strange though is I never saw or heard of him again. Nor did I ever hear my friends mention anything of him again. I never even got his name.

…And sometimes I wonder if I ever really did meet The Almonds Guy?

Or if The Almonds Guy was something that met me…

Can’t Talk

Published on June 21, 2023

I lost my voice yesterday.

And while it was fun “retracing my steps” and “looking all over the school” with some of my young students who were trying to help me “find” it—losing your voice isn’t fun business.

Especially not when your voice is such an integral part of your business. Which is why today, I’m thankful for it. It really is funny how you don’t think to appreciate a thing until it’s gone. I’m fairly confident this wouldn’t have made it to my 15 day list if this hadn’t happened.

None-the-less, here we are. And here I am, bracing myself for an upcoming series of Martial Arts graduation ceremonies, classes, and coaching sessions that require a functioning voice box (and a damn loud one at that). And a question I’ve been reflecting on that has guided me in many challenging situations before is, “What good can come from this?”

…And you know what’s funny about reflecting on that question? You tend to find good things buried inside even crappy situations. Because the reality is—I’m not getting it back today. No sense dwelling on that. But, letting my mind dwell in the realm of creative solutions can be helpful for sure.

And what I’m now seeing are excellent opportunities for team members and students to step up—not only to help me out, but to help themselves out by building skills inside higher pressure situations that they don’t normally get to step into.

So you know what I’m going to do today?

…Let those who are willing step into them.

The Happiness In Between

Published on June 20, 2023

In a recent newsletter, Mark Manson offered a wonderful analogy for happiness. He said it was like, “Pleasant background music to everything else you do in life.” …He explained how it isn’t the highs; it isn’t the highlights; it isn’t the getting high—it’s the general feeling that arises in the background of it all.

And the more we mistake happiness for the highs in our lives, the more unhappy we’ll be. Because, by definition, the highs can only be few and far between.

The real test of happiness is when there is precisely nothing exciting happening. When there are no extraordinary moments unfolding, no phones out dealing dopamine, and no drugs or alcohol around. When it’s just you inside one of those vast majority moments that exist in-between the highs.

…What does the music sound like? Is it pleasant or is it annoying? Is it something you can even hear?

Here’s my recommendation: as you would create a playlist of songs on your phone to elicit/ facilitate certain moods, so too should you create a playlist of activities in your life that do the same.

Things that aren’t extraordinary in nature, aren’t added to highlight reels, and don’t involve state-altering substances—normal moment things that can help you come into tune with the background music of your life.

Things like screen-free walks, hikes, meditation, art, dance, exercise, journaling, conversation, etc.

Things that are… pleasant.

P.s. Today, I’m thankful for a quiet neighborhood. A place where I can easily tune and re-tune the background song(s) of my life.

Distractionary In Nature

Published on June 19, 2023

Over the past few months, I have been focused on reducing screen time—particularly as it pertains to using social media apps.

I have largely stopped posting, turned off essentially all notifications, and am being more mindful of the itches that arise to open and scroll.

This past Saturday, however, I had a moment where I decided to scratch that itch and check IG. Before I knew it, I was already 1 hour deep into a video binge of a Brazilian couple’s dancing page. Not joking. They were completely captivating and shared great content—but, it wasn’t how I wanted to spend an hour of my day.

This is the kind of thing that happens all of the time, with so many of us.

Hours and hours drained from our days watching content that’s captivating and well produced (this isn’t a shot at the content), but that’s distractionary in nature and veers us from our main path. My current path, for example, is to reallocate the time saved and put it towards IRL meetups, reading, meditation, deep work, and/or sleep.

How much better my Sunday might’ve felt, I wonder to myself, if I hadn’t stayed up that extra hour Saturday night scrolling through IG? And I wonder the same for you and how much better you might feel if you reallocated just 1 hour/ week of distractionary in nature media and put it towards something better?

Day 3 of #15DaysofGratitude: Thankful that I grew up in a time where screen time wasn’t a concern—having a no-screen-foundation helps me to navigate this modern, screen driven world in a way that those who only know the screen-filled life… can’t imagine.

Feeling Normal

Published on June 18, 2023

Today while playing basketball, three of the people I was with got injured.

One was feeling pain in his Achilles tendon. Another tweaked his knee. And another took a hit in the ribs and groin. They each sat out the rest of the game.

Injuries happen. Especially when participating in intense exercise that involves sprinting, jumping, and physical contact. And when they do, all we tend to think about is, “Why me?” “Why now?” “How long will this last?” “When will I be healed?” “When will I be back to normal?”

…When we get injured, sick, or experience grief, suddenly our vast array of life interests, excitements, and focuses become one—getting back to feeling normal.

And today, I’m thankful that, all things considered, I’m feeling pretty normal. No serious injuries; no serious sicknesses; no imminent grief looming in the background of my life.

Feeling normal isn’t something I think many of us remember to show gratitude for—mostly because it’s precisely when we’re feeling normal that we’re able to fan our attention out to everything else in the world—and so we do. And if that’s you, I hope you can take a few minutes to come back and feel the full gratitude of normality in this moment.

Because right now, I know those three people I played ball with are probably only thinking one thing and it might be something you don’t even realize you’re so fortunate to have.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

15 Days of Gratitude Challenge

Published on June 17, 2023

My friend Mike started a #15DaysofGratitude Challenge.

It’s simple. Every day for the next 15 days, post publicly something you’re grateful for.

This feels like a timely challenge for me because lately, I can feel my mind learning towards desire and away from gratitude. The discontent has been a noticeable feeling for some reason and expressing gratitude, I know, is the perfect antidote.

So, I’m in.

…I hope you’ll join, too.

Day 1: After work today, a colleague asked me what I had planned for the rest of my day. After thinking about it for a second, I realized I had nothing. And after an exhausting, nonstop, jammed schedule kind of week—saying “nothing at all” felt great.

Today, I’m grateful for the days when I get to do… nothing at all.

Body Posture and Voice Tonality

Published on June 16, 2023

I frequently visit schools and speak to students about how martial arts can help in life.

And while one of my goals is to spark an interest in them that might lead to continued, long-term training, part of me knows that the one visit might be the only time I’ll ever get to speak with them. And so I challenge myself to give them something that’ll stick even after one, 30-minute session.

While this often changes depending on the group of students I’m working with and what I see—what I often find myself choosing for the focused takeaway is body posture and voice tonality.

I’ll tell them when they stand, walk, or sit—to do so with their back straight, chin up, and eyes straight ahead. When they speak, to look in the eyes and use a loud, clear voice.

Contrary to what most students think, what formulates our judgements of our peers has very little to do with specific word choice—it’s not about the jokes, knowledge, or witty remarks.

The sweeping majority has to do with body language and tone of voice. And one of the best ways I know to get people to demonstrably hold themselves in high(er) regard—which demonstrates belief in their own worth, potential, and right to be treated with dignity and respect—is by making these select few adjustments.

If you’re reading this and you tend to walk with your back hunched, eyes down, and speak with a soft and quiet voice… maybe you can practice making this select adjustment as well.

Make it a habit and you might be surprised at how different you feel in just a few days time.