Skip to content

Month: November 2022

Filling Inner Holes

Published on November 23, 2022

The bigger your sense of lack…

The deeper your inner holes will feel.

And the deeper the inner hole, the more that’ll be required to fill it.

But, remember… filling a hole can be done in two very different ways:

1) Buying external hole-filler (which is often costly, hard to come by, and labor-intensive—you know… that luxury brand, media-worshipped, top-shelf style hole-filler).

2) Using internal hole-filler (you know, the stuff you threw next to the hole while you were doing all of that inner hole digging in the first place).

Remember this as you look around today… at the many wonderful things you often don’t notice, the people you often can’t stand, and the blessings you so often take for granted.

Maybe the “holes” inside aren’t holes at all.

Maybe they’re just parts of ourselves that, for one reason or another, became uneven from some unintentional / subconscious digging that we did and then left ignored. And what we need to do isn’t buy some fancy filler… but do some inner-landscaping/ leveling with what’s already there.

Because whole is how we were born. “With-holes” is something that sometimes happens as we go. And filling inner holes is best done with the stuff that’s already next to them—inside.

P.s. Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it. I’m very thankful to have you with me on this ride.

Less Frustrating

Published on November 22, 2022

Other people are not here to:

  • Treat you perfectly
  • Rave about your work
  • Meet your expectations
  • Clean up after your messes
  • Agree with your every opinion
  • Conform to your belief systems
  • Celebrate your every step forward in life
  • Change their lives so you don’t have to change yours
  • Act in a way that aligns with your lifestyle and healing
  • Watch closely and respond immediately to your timeline affairs

Realize this and suddenly, life becomes a whole lot less frustrating.

P.s. I don’t have any Black Friday sales, but if you see any of these books on sale this weekend, I would definitely recommend getting them. And here’s my full library of quoted books :)

What’s The Emotion?

Published on November 21, 2022

Every emotion is trying to signal something to our mind:

  • Anger = What you care about / Where your boundaries are / etc.
  • Jealousy = What you want / The types of feelings you want to have / etc.
  • Sadness = What holds meaning / What really matters / etc.

This is why it’s so crucial to identify the emotion.

You can’t interpret the signal you don’t identify or get confused.

Scream Metal

Published on November 20, 2022

I was surprised when I saw Willow performing scream metal on SNL.

And I was also surprised to read how many people were hating on her for it.

Because what I saw was somebody who was smiling, dancing, passionate, absorbed, and fully expressing what appeared to be her authentic self.

Maybe scream metal is what joy looks like for Willow? Why throw hate on that? Maybe if we each could express ourselves as unapologetically as Willow, we’d be screaming with full, raw emotion too.

Assuming this really is Willow’s authentic sense of expression and does give her a sense of joy… imagine her copying and pasting the lifestyle of, say, Kylie Jenner instead.

Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with Kylie Jenner’s lifestyle, but copied and pasted onto Willow’s life? …I’d say it would feel completely backwards.

And what would follow probably wouldn’t be a sense of joy—even though joy is what Kylie (probably) gets from her lifestyle. What would follow would likely be misery, imposter syndrome, and a dulled existence.

And what we need isn’t more dull, copy-pasted humans—what we need are more humans who have come alive and who can unapologetically scream from the rooftops about it.

So, before you copy and paste someone else’s lifestyle onto your own because they appear to be joyful—uncopy and don’t paste. Look within instead. The answers are already there. You just have to give yourself permission to unapologetically express yourself.

Translated loosely: do you and forget the haters.

P.s. In case you missed it, you can read the best of what I posted to MoveMe Quotes last week, here.

Legos

Published on November 19, 2022

I used to love legos as a kid.

While I don’t play with them anymore, I still build daily.

And what I’m realizing is that each creation—each tweet; each 1-minute blog; each article; each LIVE Talk I host; each authentic interaction—is a lego block added to my collection.

And as it was when I was a kid: more legos = more possibilities, more creation potential, and ultimately… more remarkable designs.

This is why, in spite of having a LONG list of big projects I want to finish, I continue to spend substantial time on publishing mini-projects daily… because each day I add a new lego to my collection, is an instance when I get to proportionally grow the raw creation potential of ALL my ongoing big projects.

In short, in the case of Legos (literal and metaphorical) more is definitely better.

P.s. If these “legos” are helping you in the building of your own life creations, you can support my future “lego” building efforts here. You the best :)

“Cell” Phones or Freedom Phones?

Published on November 18, 2022

I posed the following question on Twitter:

Do you think humans were more free BEFORE or AFTER cell phones?

The majority vote was BEFORE.

Which makes my take an unpopular opinion. Here we go:

I think when cell phones restrict freedom is when WE become addicted to THEM.

I don’t think there’s anything inherently freedom-restricting in having a cellphone.

In fact, if we’re disciplined and mindful, I think they’ve unlocked an incredible realm of freedom that was otherwise unavailable to us pre-cellphone.

Today, we’re able to do the same things we were before: nature retreats, family dinner, walk, hike, play outside, twiddle our thumbs, shoot the shit with neighbors, sit in silence… WITH the added option(s) of being able to connect with a friend who live in Malaysia or coach clients who live in Colorado or learn from the Dalai Lama who’s giving a live talk in Tibet.

The freedom is unprecedented.

But, generally speaking, so are the low levels of self-discipline (an observation not a fact).

No one says we must use cell phones; we choose to use them because of the opportunities they provide. Otherwise, why not just ditch the cellphone altogether and backpedal to a more “free” life you once knew before?

Maybe, if we start treating our (possible) addiction to them more seriously and draw more firm boundaries, have some planned media detoxes, and find ways to untangle their intertwined connection to our lives… maybe we’ll discover a type of freedom that far exceeds anything we might remember having before.

But, that’s just my take.

I digress.

P.s. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to reply on Twitter, LinkedIn, or via email. :)

Self-Fortification

Published on November 17, 2022

Worrying about tomorrow isn’t all that helpful.

Fortifying yourself today, is.

  • Reading might not solve any problems in your life right now…
  • Writing might not make your mind magically more clear today…
  • Meditating might not teach you how to have an overall more calm demeanor after one session…

But, each of those will be a helluva lot more helpful for tomorrow than worrying ever will be.

…And after doing them for weeks? …Months? …Years? …The benefit is undeniable.

So, the next time you find yourself in a moment of worry/ anxiety: try replacing the time you spend playing out worst-case scenarios with self-fortifying activities.

Channel the energy you normally would spend on self-depleting thoughts and funnel it into a self-fortifying task so you can meet your challenges tomorrow when they arrive—better than you are now.

…Better that than trying to meet your challenges in every single mind-numbing moment leading up to them, leaving you more drained and exhausted than there’s any reason for.

P.s. In case you missed it, I had a great conversation with Jeanne Torre and Emily Leahy about going from Burnout to Balanced in life. You can listen to the replay here.