Month: May 2021

Honoring Those Who Have Passed

Published on May 31, 2021

What’s the best way to honor those who have passed?

By keeping them alive in our thoughts and stories.

For at the end of life, isn’t that what we all want? To be remembered?

And not just as a person who died. But, remembered for the person we were when we were alive. The things we’d say. The emotions we’d show. The quirky things we’d do. The situations we’d speak up against. The values we’d relentlessly stand by. These are the things that bring a person to life after they, or we, have passed.

When someone passes, it can be hard to replay all of these things in our head. Painful emotional responses may erupt unwillingly which might makes us avoid, suppress, and/or distract ourselves from remembering. But, we mustn’t.

We must carefully replay the image of our loved one’s life in our mind and deeply embody the parts that impacted us. And then, as the only bearer of that part of their legacy from our own unique perspective, we must carefully replay that image for others so that they, too, can be impacted.

With this, I leave you with five thoughts: (1) Who do you honor in your life? (2) How do you honor them? (3) Who’s going to honor your life? (4) What parts of your life do you want people to embody the most? (5) How can you best embody those parts of your life while you’re still here?

Aligning With Your Life’s Task

Published on May 29, 2021

A good litmus test to gauge whether you’re in alignment with your life’s task or not:

If you retired today, with enough money to last you for the rest of your life, would you keep doing the work you’re doing?

If yes, you’re in alignment. And if you’re able to sustain a suitable life for yourself doing that work, then keep on keeping on! That’s an exciting place to be where the focus can simply be on growing your skills and expanding your impact.

If no, you’re out of alignment. Here’s the thing: maybe you’re doing crappy work for great money? Maybe you have dependents to support? Maybe the money is the means to a better end? Maybe you live an expensive lifestyle?

Here’s my warning: while some of the above mentioned situations might be true for you and your life, what’s also true is that your work is how you’re going to spend a heaping chunk of your life’s time. And if you’re not careful, you might end up retiring with a lifetime trail of unenthused, unimportant, unfulfilled work.

Maybe it’d be better to do great work for crappier money? Maybe you could start a side-hustle to experiment with other, more fulfilling work? Maybe it’s time to set a concrete date when you’re going to make the leap to fulfilling work—rather than leave it at some obscure point in the future? Maybe you could live a more modest lifestyle?

Maybe life isn’t best saved for retirement—maybe the retired life is best lived now?

Flexible In Approach; Rigid In Resolve

Published on May 27, 2021

Every morning, my alarm goes off at around 7am. Today was no different. The beeping started and I finally managed to drag my arm to the nightstand and drop it over the snooze button at 7:08am.

I remember the time exactly because I must have looked at “7:08am” three of four times as I continued to snooze until I finally realized—wait a second—the time hadn’t changed!

I fumbled for my phone and realized it was actually 9:24am. Yup. I forgot to switch my alarm clock back to real time and left it switched to “alarm set time.” I missed my morning workout and was supposed to have already been reading, uploading quotes, and eating breakfast.

…And I hadn’t even gotten myself upright yet.

It was in this moment that I had to make an important decision—how to get done all that I planned with two hours less time? Because losing two hours is no joke—and everything I had planned to get done was important to me.

Here’s what I did:

(1) Knowing that I had off work for the upcoming weekend, I swapped my Saturday Rest Day with my Thursday Workout Plan. Skipping workouts isn’t an option, but moving it to a different time within the same week is! That saved me an hour.

(2) I showered and got right to reading, uploading quotes, and eating breakfast—at a slightly elevated pace and with none of the normal distractions (e.g. email, stocks, news) This saved me another thirty minutes.

(3) I decided to use this rough start to my advantage and made it my writing topic for the day. This saved me the last thirty minutes as it usually takes me that long to get my writing started.

Staying flexible in our approach allows us to bend and move with the tension of life as it comes. And the tension is going to keep coming. The problem with rigid is that it breaks under tension. Better to take that rigid and apply it to our resolve.

Sexy Follows Foundation (Foundation Doesn’t Follow Sexy)

Published on May 26, 2021

Learning how to defend against punches, chokes, and grabs is great. Learning how to defend against laziness, temptation, provocation is better.

Learning how to monetize a website, blog, or article is great. Learning how to write more clearly, concisely, and consistently—is better.

Learning tactics to promote yourself, a product, or service is great. Learning how to make yourself, a product, or service more remarkably great—is better.

It’s easy to invest most of our time into learning what’s sexy. UFC style self-defenses, multiple channel monetization, maximizing reach and distribution. It’s hard to invest time into learning the less-sexy, foundational stuff. But, it’s those foundational skills that give the “sexy” stuff life.

Because what’s the best way to defend against a punch? By never getting into a position of being punched. And how do you do that? By learning foundational character development skills of how to be confident, disciplined, and cool-tempered.

What’s the best thing you can do to make money online? By creating something that serves a need and is thoughtful and generous. Not by creating superficial content, taking short-cuts, or cleverly fooling people into payment plans and sexy funnels.

This is even true for how people see each other. What makes a person sexy? You might argue something about a person’s appearance, but that fades quickly if it isn’t matched with a sexy character. Ashton Kutcher said it perfectly:

“The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart. And being thoughtful, and being generous. Everything else is crap, I promise you. It’s just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less. So don’t buy it. Be smart, be thoughtful and be generous.”

And so I pass it onto you: be smart, thoughtful, and generous. Especially with how you spend your time. Are you investing in foundation or drooling over what appears to be sexy?

Playing Versus Playing It Safe

Published on May 22, 2021

What’s more important, watching your back or watching your step?

If your goal is to avoid pain, then watching your back would be the priority. You’d pay close attention to your vulnerabilities. You’d caution yourself around people and take your time looking for their conniving sides. You wouldn’t give people anything they could later use to hurt you with. You’d constantly be looking for ways to build bigger and stronger walls. You’d play it safe.

If your goal is to keep moving forward, then you’d prioritize watching your step. You’d pay close attention to your strengths. You’d check the rooms you’re in for opportunities, paths, directions—and you’d take your time looking for the fun in people. You’d give people anything that might help them keep moving forward because it, in all likelihood, would help you keep moving forward, too. You’d play.

Here’s the thing: are you less likely to get hurt playing it safe? Of course. Playing it safe—watching your back—is like sitting on the bench while at the playground. It’s the place where you’re least likely to get hurt. You’re positioned ideally to keep everybody in front of you, your chances of accidental bumpings/ bruises/ or bangs are minimized, and you can focus your attention solely on safety. But, is that really your life goal? To sit on the bench while staring at a playground?

Here’s what I think: when there’s a playground in front of you—you go and play. Playing is exploration. It’s interaction. It’s experimentation. It’s conflict resolution. It’s problem solving. It’s getting bumped/ bruised/ and banged—and getting back up. It’s having fun. And so it is with life, too. The point isn’t to not get hurt; the point is to play. Not to play it safe looking backwards, but to play joyfully with eyes eagerly forward.

We All Fall Down (To The Level Of Our Systems)

Published on May 21, 2021

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
James Clear

Before the start of every competition, it’s safe to assume that every competitor has the same goal—to win. And yet, not all do. Only one person wins. So, what’s the difference maker? Is it the size of a person’s desire? I think someone can want to win remarkably more than other competitors and still lose. Size of desire, in and of itself, isn’t the major factor in winning and losing. So, what is?

It’s what we do with our desire that counts. If I change my goal from wanting to read one book per month to wanting to read five, but change nothing with my habits—nothing changes! Yes, it’s important to have the goal identified so you have a direction and focus (and bigger goals might put you on different paths), but once you have that, all of your energy should be directed towards system building.

What do systems look like? Your system for reading might be to read at least 1 page before bed every night. Your system for exercising might be to do at least 5 minutes of bodyweight exercise every morning. Your system for healthy eating might be to eat at least 1 apple every day for lunch. This, of course, is where size matters—the bigger your systems, the bigger your results. Systems are the vehicles that are going to take you to your goals—your goals are simply the destination.

This is such an important reminder. We don’t rise to the level of our goals; we fall to the level of our systems. Don’t share with me your goals; share with me your systems. Goals don’t impress me—we all want to change the world and do big things. Share with me what you’re doing every day that’s going to get you there. That’s where the magic happens. That’s where thoughts become reality. That’s where winners spend their time.

The Crux Of The Climb

Published on May 20, 2021

The goal of rock climbing—whether indoors or out—is to reach the summit of a formation or the endpoint of a usually pre-defined route without falling. In most cases, there isn’t just one way to accomplish this. In fact, each climber usually tackles the problem in their own unique ways with various changes in grip, stance, position, weight distribution, technique, style, etc. But, what’s universal on every route is the presence of a crux.

The crux is a particular point of difficulty. It’s the “make-it-or-break-it” point on the route. It’s the point where most climbers fail. Sometimes the challenge is the technique that’s called for. Sometimes it’s the strength that’s required. Sometimes it’s the athleticism and coordination that’s needed. If one of those areas is lacking, the climber will fall—there is no skipping over the crux.

The same is true for our climbs in life. Along the various routes that we’re on—career/family/love—there are going to be crux points. Particular points of difficulty that will require more of us than the rest of the climb has and maybe will. This is where we need to particularly focus our attention, energy, and effort.

Those moments when you don’t feel like doing what you know needs to get done? Crux point. That time at the party when someone offers you a drink, but you’ve been sober for 90 days? Crux point. The days when you wake up feeling groggy and heavy and don’t want to workout even though you’ve got a streak going? Crux point.

These moments aren’t going to require an average, everyday effort. They’re going to require a person’s best effort. Some situations might call for more advanced techniques, others might ask for extra strength, and others might require more coordinated plans of attack and strategies. Those who don’t show up ready, will fall. Those who come prepared will cross and get to carry on towards their summit.